Life is Emotionally Abusive
I wish I could say that I'm back and feeling great, but I'd be lying. This grief might be what finally takes me out. I just can't shake the sadness. Everything makes me want to cry. My prayers feel like useless words spoken into an empty sky. I feel useless and unloved. I'm lonely in a way even I don't understand. It isn't as though I just want to be around people. I have sisters and friends willing to fill space but it's not that kind of lonely. It's like an ache in a place I can't quite reach. I miss my parents. I miss Libby. I miss my pre-2020 life. I long to go back to a time when I just had regular depression and not this truly hopeless, infinitely sad, yet also numb zombie-walk through life that I feel stuck in now. I want someone to hug me. Like a big, no holds barred bear hug like Daddy used to give me. I miss affection and someone who cared about how I felt. I miss spending time with people who just wanted to be with me and not because the...