CAUTION: Woman In Progress

I've been home sick for the past couple of days. Apparently my stomach has decided that it will no longer accept or keep "church food." And by church food, I mean, the after church pot lucks that occur occasionally. I sang at the Homecoming service for the church my parents attend--the church connected to the cemetery where Paw-paw Joe is buried and after the service was a church potluck. I ate what appeared to me to be a reasonable amount. I didn't gorge or overstuff myself. I wouldn't even say I was pleasantly full by the end of it. Just, you know, I ate a couple scoops of some dressing and some ham and a slice of pie. Oh, and a deviled egg. And it was yummy and I went home and sat in my newly cleaned up and moved swing until I started to feel sick. The past couple times I've eaten at a church pot luck it gave me wicked heartburn/indigestion. This time it rebelled completely and I was SICK. And that's all you really need to know about that. But while...

Okay, so maybe not skinny, but since I've started working so hard in the stacks and on this current microfilm project we've got going, I've lost seven pounds. I feel like death and am exhausted but...yay me! lol I don't have much else to report. My weekend review goes a little something like,  "Saturday: Grocery shopping, ate a peach for breakfast, nap, half the dishes washed, nap, laundry, nap, laundry, nap, nap, nap, movie, nap, bedtime. Sunday: bacon and scones for breakfast, nap, nap, finished washing dishes, laundry, nap, television, laundry, nap, tidying up the dining room table, nap, nap, movie, nap, nap, television, bedtime. I was a SLUG all weekend but it did make my foot feel better to rest it so much. And I watched a really good scary movie, which, let's face it--they don't really make a whole lot of actually good actually scary movies anymore. But this one was. And it was on Syfy of all things. Anyway, this week is hopping already. Hot, ti...

My thoughts on the work dinner I survived tonight as expressed on Twitter. 

Trying out the whole "shades over my glasses" thing.  And yes, duck face is necessary when modeling shades.  $10 (regular $36) Oscar Delarenta shades from Tuesday Morning.  I'm so fancy. Ha They look kinda silly on top of my head with my glasses on my face but I think they might work out. It's brutal outside without shades and I refuse to get transitions lenses or contacts. I know a few people who wear shades over their glasses so when these fit perfectly, thought I'd give it a try.  Goofy? Maybe. But I never claimed to be anything else.  ;-)

  If you never hear from me again it's because the stacks have murdered me. #TrueStory

So I don't think I ever told you my Naked and Embarrassed story, did I? I probably shouldn't. I should be wise and keep it to myself because that's what mature adult type people do, right? But since I'm not mature... Soooo, this was, like, the Saturday before Fadda's Dae. (Don't ask me why I spell it like that. I don't know why. I just do.) I was in the mad dash cleaning and baking phase and, you know, it gets hot in the house when the oven is on and a girl is running around like a lunatic. Weeeeeeelllll...sometime Saturday afternoon, once all the baking was done, the kitchen cleaned up and all the other cleaning type nonsense finished or abandoned (probably abandoned) I stripped down to my underwear and sprawled out in the recliner to rest and let the ceiling fan do it's magical cooling off thing. And in the nature of full disclosure, about ten minutes into the cooling off period I also stripped off my sports bra. Because boob sweat, ya'll. Do...

Ok y'all...I posted this on Facebook yesterday... The full photo... What kind of babies do you think I mean?? I'm asking because I've had two people ask me what kind of babies and I'm trying to decide if I should bless their hearts in that very special southern way or if I'M the dodo. LOL

Imma 'bout to get buried. Anyone wanna come dig out my desk?

Today's temp.  Today's mantra.  Today. 

I think I have finally figured out the source of all the male attention I've been getting. Yes. Besides creep old dudes stalking me for coffee and elderly gentlemen who like to sit on my ample lap, there has been a lot of weird male attention going on. Leering. Talking a little more enthusiastically. Flirting, even. It's kinda weirding me out, to be honest. But I think I've figured it out A.) I bake so much these days that I smell like cookies all the time. B.) I bake so much that I've "blossomed" and the "blossoming" has affected my boobage. I had not really noticed the blossomed boobage until just now when I walked past a window and caught sight of my profile. My boobs actually extend beyond my ever increasing belly now. Totally weird. So yeah. Cookies and boobs. If I started carrying around beer and footballs I'd be beating them off with a stick. File this one under: Crazy TMI ramblings of a demented librarian library associate.

So this is my last full day of work for the year. I'm leaving at 10 on Monday and refuse to believe that I ever have to come back on the fifth. Of course, I will likely post a photo or twenty while I'm off. Probably. This has been the SLOWEST week EVER and the past two days have lasted two lifetimes. Will Christmas break never come? I did something exciting yesterday morning but I can't really talk about it. I might email the info to you if you really wanna know. But not putting it out on the 'net because I look stupid but in fact, I am not. Not entirely, anyway. Speaking of being stupid, I'm convince that my pastor thinks I'm slow. Like, mentally slow. He often speaks slowly and enunciates to me and always does this weird half bow thing when he shakes my hand. It's weird. He doesn't do it to anyone else. I guess I'm "special?" *shrug* Take Sunday, for instance. We had our church Christmas lunch which involves gifting the pastor...

Dear Santa, I haven't been entirely good this year but I haven't been entirely bad either. More middle of the road.  To be fair, a lot of my naughtiness was the direct result of other people but since I'm an adult I won't lay blame.  For Christmas this year what I want can't be bought or made, so you may hafta get God to help ya out.   I'd really love it if both my parents could have some improved health. They both had a tricky 2014 and I know we could all enjoy a break from health problems.  I'd also love it if my sisters could figure out how to have more peace in their marriages. I don't know all the ins and outs but I know that marriage shouldn't be so hard.  The kids are all such blessings. I'd really love it if they could all grown up safe and happy.  And if you have time, I'd really love it if you could help me realize my professional dreams.  Oh! And Libby wants a lifetime supply of Milkbones. She's such a good pup, you should help...

So today we gave our "kids" (aka student assistants) a Christmas pizza party to thank them for all their hard work and dedication to our department. I've always thought this was a form of appreciation that college kids enjoy. I was wrong.  Half my students altogether skipped it and one student who showed up to work her regular hours, I had to strong arm into joining the party. Later, as she and the three other students who attended passed me on their way back to the office, I heard her say, "I'd have rather worked."  1. Where is that work ethic in the rest of society--myself included? 2. Ungrateful heifer!  3. How do kids forget to/not want to show up for free food? It just does not compute to me.  I just don't understand life anymore. Edited to add: I really don't like life anymore, either. I don't know all the details yet, but I just found out that Daddy's having heart problems again. New heart problems b...

I've never paid much attention to college football polls. Probably because I never had a good reason to. Unfortunately, after a long run in the top five, we fell to number 10 after that dismal fall to the school up north this weekend.  Funny where we landed, though...just above Trixie's Badgers!! :-D  Sad that we lost to our most vicious rivals but excited that we did as well as we did this season. :-)

That time a bird got in the house.  And pooped in my Puffs Plus.  It survived and after a panicked and fruitless call to Daddy (who laughed at me! lol), it finally flew out the back door.  Got the ol' heart pumping, anyway. 8-D

1. I've been washing dishes for an hour and a half and still am not finished.  2. Today is Emmy's 15th birthday.  3. I had a hot date last night.  Bet you can't guess which one's the lie. lol

Exciting times to be a Mississippian. Our poor neighbors to the east find it a hard pill to swollow. Ha!  And it's sooooo weird that I give a crap about football. lol

It's so disappointing when you post something on Facebook that you just KNOW will crack people up and then...crickets. :-/ I posted the following this afternoon: Let it grow, let it grow, ain't shavin' legs anymore. Let it grow, let it grow, throw the razor on the drawer. I don't care 'bout no prickly hair. Let it all grow long...the fur never bothered me anyway.  Just four "likes" and two comments, neither of which were about my comic genius.  My humor is WASTED on those dry losers on Facebook.  :-P A darn happy thing that I don't rely on social media for my happiness. Amiright?! Unless...ugh. I'm not as funny as I think I am. :'-(

Sheesh! I just re-read my weekend posts and...WOW, between auto-correct and my own blithering mistakes ("hearding" FTW!!) I sound like a blithering idiot. Which, in the interest of complete honesty, I sorta am. But you already know that. So, yeah. I'm owning the fact that I can be a sloppy and clueless writer on a good day and complete blithering idiot on the iPhone autocorrecting tiny "keyboard." Also, in case you're wondering, the "hearding" should have been "herding". You know, just in case anyone ELSE is not the sharpest tool in the shed today. Also, also "FTW" means "For the win" in case also like me, you're not always too hip on this here internet lingo. Hey, if we can't laugh at OURSELVES, we'll be totally devastated when the rest of the world laughs AT us, amiright? :-D

When I was a senior in  high school I ran for homecoming queen. (Note: That's not the confession.) I ran on a complete whim and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I didn't have a chance in hell of actually winning. I'm not even sure why I threw my name in other than the fact that by senior year I was tired of bowing out of everything just because I was fat and unpopular. (Note: I also participated in the talent contest that year and got honorable mention--just like everyone else did who didn't win.) One of my close friends ran, too, and she also knew she didn't have a chance of winning. Not because she wasn't beautiful. She was. She was even popular, whereas I wasn't. (Note: I went to a school where being friends with popular people didn't automatically make you popular.) But the other girl running was a bit of a bully and people were afraid to NOT vote for her. Plus, she was, like, ultra popular. (Note: I loathed this girl and she loathed me. She was/...