CAUTION: Woman In Progress

Unfortunately, besides diabetes, heart disease and thyroid issues, mild depression also runs in my family. A large part of my rant on here last week had to do with that. I'm still in a bit of a funk. Itchy and restless and not entirely content with my life. I think I'm gaining a grip on it again, though. Hopefully things will even out soon. Unfortunately for you guys, I subject ya'll to this sort of thing through this blog a little more often than I should. It's good for me in that I have an avenue in which to vent and whine to people I trust (and the world at large! Eek! lol)--something I would never be able to do with my face to face friends and family. Not that I don't trust them, it's just they either don't understand it, make me feel small for it or try to "best" me in a "woe is me" competition. Sorry. My depressive episodes are not up for "who's the most depressed" contests. Thankyouverymuch. Ya'll, on the other ha...

Thy name is Jana. *sigh* Sometimes I'd love to just throw my hands up. Wave a white flag. Something. Anything . Nothing and everything is wrong. I counted my blessings while in the elevator yesterday. While they're many, the frustrations are just so much more... frustrating. For instance, you all know about my battle to lose weight, right? If you don't you've either just started reading this blog or you live under a rock. Either way, here's the scoop. In 2006 and part of 2007 I lost around 40 pounds. (Yeah, and I'm still huge, so you do the math.) Somewhere along the way in 2007 I plateaued, as is apt to happen. Thing of it is, I never got out of the plateau and in fact despite my best efforts I gained 8lbs of it back over the course of a couple of months. Now it seems my struggle is stuck in reverse. Doesn't matter what I do, how little I eat or how much activity I add to my day it just isn't working. And it's frustrating the hell outta me. Grrrrrr....

It was entirely too strange having Easter and my birthday on the same day. Too. Strange. The whole day was just odd. Off, if you will. But then, this whole YEAR has been odd/off/strange. I don't know what happened there but nothing feels as it should these days. Everything seems all wonky. Between illnesses, deaths, this oddly early Easter, leap year and all manner of other anomalies, it's a wonder I even recognize my life at all. But, I did indeed get to (sort of) celebrate my birthday. Mama and Daddy took me out Friday night to eat at my favorite Mexican place. The food was excellent as usual. The service, however, could have been better. The waiter rushed us through everything, completely ignored Mama and me and didn't even offer us dessert! I was so disappointed! I don't know what his problem was. It wasn't as if we were there at a peak time and he needed to turn our table quickly. We got there WELL before the supper rush. *shakes head* I think he just wanted to...

Hope ya'll have a good one, if you celebrate it. If you don't...well, have a great day anyhow. ;)

Finally got around to watching my latest Netflix pick, Dan In Real Life . It was cute but nothing like I'd thought it would be. I alternately laughed out loud and felt achingly sad for Dan. Then I wanted to smack him for being so dumb. lol It musta been good if it inspired that much of a reaction from me. You know, there are parts in there, though, where I couldn't help but think, "Oh my gosh, I know how he feels!" Feeling left out, bereft and unloved. Relegated to least favored child/sibling/person. Being disappointed because something you were excited about turned out to be nothing you expected. I could have written a movie on that! It wouldn't have been as funny, I'm sure. I didn't used to like Steve Carelle (or however it's spelled) all that much. I thought he was annoying. Not quite Jim Carey annoying but almost. But you know, he's a darn good actor. I mean, I felt the pain his face expressed. His body language was spot on and some of the bes...

Being a devoted romance novel reader, I'm a big fan of happily ever afters. I was sorely disappointed at watching the third installment of the Cutting Edge trilogy. I'd seen the first two (the major motion picture and the ABC Family sequel that came out a year or so ago) and enjoyed them both. Of course I had to watch the third one. Well, don't worry, it has it's happily ever after. (Bit of a spoiler here so stop reading if you haven't seen it yet but plan to.) It merely kills the belief that the couple in the second one had theirs. They got DIVORCED. Where the hell does divorce fit in with the concept of happily ever after? I sort of get why they probably wrote it in that way (Jackie was going to be the new pair's coach and I guess they needed an explanation of why what's his face (her fella) wasn't around.) but it just killed. Totally spoiled the entire movie for me. Well, that and the fact that the movie was kinda lame anyway. All the toe-pick gags w...

A couple of weeks ago, I told ya'll that I had a cute story on Libby--complete with pictures. Then my great-gma died and I just forgot about it. Looking through the pictures I recently uploaded, I remembered what it was, so here it is. It's probably more of a "had to be there" thing but I think everything she does is brilliant, cute and worth talking about. So what do I care? hehehe Apparently, she learned early that good things come in those crinkling plastic bags that Mama periodically brings home. Never fails that whenever I return from grocery shopping, when I drop the bags onto the kitchen floor she goes straight for 'em. Starts nosing around in them, pulling stuff out, etc. I have to clip her leash on her and MAKE her go do her business outside. She runs out there, immediately drops to pee and then beelines it back the house where she runs straight back to the those bags. This from a dog who normally takes 20 minutes to find the exact right spot to water. he...

I have a huge crush on a television personality. LOL You know my luuurrrv of the SciFi show Ghost Hunter's, right? *swoony sigh* What is it about Grant that makes me giggle like a school girl? LOL He's married, for Pete's sake. I don't make a habit of crushing on married men but my gravy, he does make me giggle with delight. Yeah, yeah, I know I always said before that Steve was my draw (and his tats are still totally hot, btw) but Grant...Grant's the one I'd trip over myself if I ever met him. For those of you who don't watch GH, well, you're not only scratching your heads as to what the crap I'm talking about but you're also missing a great show. But speaking of Ghosts... Man, I don't know if it was something supernatural (paranormal) or of a more humanly element but last night... I was outside with Libby for her "last call" before we go to bed and we were just wandering around the yard, she was sniffing grass for the perfect spot...

So after yesterday's exciting news with it's really amazing high, you knew I'd crash eventually. Not in a bad way, just the usual way when the high wears off. Not the kind of high brought on by drugs but, you know, a natural high. Anyway, you know what I mean. I'm still excited about the impending move even though I know it's going to be hectic for all of us for the next little while and a huge adjustment for everyone. For us, it'll be a great adjustment. For Goofus I think it's going to be a little harder. He's leaving his hometown this time and the home he built with his dad before his dad died. It's a little emotional for him even though this is something he wants and knows is good for him. Often times the things that are the best for us are the hardest to swallow. We all know that. But I'm excited. Trying to be cautious, though. If I'm not careful I'll have this whole big wonderful picture in my head of how great it's going to be ...

Goofus got the job he interviewed for which means, kids--Jana's gettin her sissy back! Yay! I don't have all the details, yet, but it looks like sometime in the near future Sis2, Lyssa and Goofus will be moving back closer to home. I'll have my best friend back in friendly territory and my sweet baby niece closer to spoiling range. I'm so happy I'm floating...Or I would be if this stoopid gravity business would let me. hehehehehehe

We gots snow this weekend! hehehehehehe At least to US it looks like snow. To all ya'll up yonder (that'd be all you north of the Mason-Dixon Line) it looks like dust, right? The university dismissed early Friday afternoon in anticipation of the winter storm we were getting. It was already sleeting when we left. I hate sleet. It's yucky. By the time I got home it was coooold. Quit sleeting sometime around 7pm and the ground was mostly just mush. BUT...woke up Sunday to this... No, that isn't a photoshopped image. It's what happens when Spring tries to come early and Winter sticks it's tongue out at it. lol Just last week the daffodils were enjoying themselves in the mild temps and light rains. Imagine their dissappointment at evil Winter's abuse. Poor babies shivering in the cold cruel snow. Of course, the Devil Pup, having never before seen snow, had a ball in it. She had to christen it a few times, always in the whitest prettiest spot. I wonder if she was...

The evil Heather tagged me! hehehe Here goes! Hope I've done it right! Did you ever play the game Telephone when you were a kid? It’s sometimes called Rumor or Gossip. You sit in a circle, the bigger the better. The ring leader will tell a “secret” to one person. That person turns to the person on their left and whispers it. Each person hears the “secret” on one side and tells it on the other until it goes all the way around the circle. The last person says out loud what they were told, then the ring leader says what everyone started with. Most of the time it isn’t the same thing, and can be quite funny. Using the power of the Internet, let’s give it a try. Alice wrote a paragraph. Your job is to make a change. It can be as little as one word or as big as twenty words. You can change names, plot and setting, but don’t change it so much that we can’t tell how it relates to what Alice started with. Post your paragraph on your blog with a link to Alice’s post. She will link back to y...

I'd promised a happy post complete with a funny tale about the devil pup. Unfortunately, I didn't get around to telling it yesterday and today brought sad news. My great-grandmother passed away early this morning. You might recall that around the first of the year they'd said that it was only a matter of time. She passed around 2:30 this morning. The nurse had sent my granny and great aunt home as they'd both been with her yesterday evening and they both felt that that would be the last time they saw her alive. I know they are sad to lose their mother (as I'm sad to lose my great-grandmother) but at this difficult time of their lives, I know they are also relieved both for her sake as well as their own. The funeral should be sometime Thursday, though I won't know the exact time until later today or tomorrow. Granny and Aunt Grace are supposed to go make the arrangements sometime today, sometime around taking Pa-Paw to Tupelo for his radiation treatment. Speaking...

I think I've got the winter blah's. I wasn't sure why I was so blah but I've heard a couple of friends (Hi Aunt B! Hi April!) mention how the dragging winter has gotten them down. Well, down here I can't really say that it's exactly snow, ice or freezing temps that have me down. It's more like, colder than average temps paired with rain and dreary weather that has me down. Not to mention everything negative that hit me right at the start of the new year. Now I've got all this angst at people who at one point and time I thought cared about me. Apparently their lives, comfort and convenience are more important than my own. I'm beginning to wonder, too, if they sit together and plot ways to make my life more miserable. "What can we do," they ask each other, "to make Jana a bit more unhappy today than she was yesterday?" But beyond all that, today (just now) I got a dose of just how unmemorable I am. How unnoticeable. *sigh* I'm a...