CAUTION: Woman In Progress

My cousins Mark and Brent are on YouTube !! Like, omigosh! hehehehe Brent (on the left) is trying to get a music career started and I suppose this is one tool he's using. But ya'll, when I pulled this up the other day I did not recognize him. I actually thought Mark (on the right) was Brent only fluffier because I haven't seen either of them in more than a year. Well, I've seen pictures of Mark with his kids but the cap threw me off. Brent, though, wow. Totally different. I'm used to him being clean cut. All my friends have always thought him to be a bit of a hottie. He's still cute, I guess. Just scruffy. And hairy. lol I guess he's going for that scruffy musician look or something. Whatever. Brent is about 6 years younger than me and I remember babysitting him when I was twelve and he was about six. I did terrible things to him. Things like, fix his hair in tiny pigtails and make him dance with me. He, in turn, would practice karate or kung fu on me....

As part of my job in Special Collections, I read newspapers. I know, cushy job right? lol I read them to mark articles for clippings to go in our vertical files. Most of the papers I read are at least three to four months old and more often than not, I learn old news that was once big news that I missed when it was new. You know, because I don't watch the news nor do I read it when I'm not on the clock. Anyway, I came across this article in the Vicksburg Post titled "Ask an Atheist" about the growing number of clubs on college campuses who support atheists and try to spread the word of atheistism. Now, I'm not going to get into preaching about how those groups shouldn't be allowed on campuses. They have as much right to exist as any group or club does. I only bring it up at all because the very thought of atheism makes me sad. And confuses me. Sad because the article stated that the percentage of young adults who do not believe in nor practice any sort of ...

It was a lot prettier before I set it on top of the car, it fell, emptied all the flowers and water and miraculously did NOT shatter the vase.

*singing* All my troubles seemed so far away... Oh, hi. hehehe Sorry. Got sidetracked. So yesterday (and I'll spare you anymore singing) was a pretty good birthday. It helps that my expectations were practically nonexistant. lol My friends at work took me out to lunch. We ate Chinese and gossiped about some folks we know and I managed to stick my foot in my mouth not once, but twice. *sigh* I've really got to stop talking to people. It's dangerous. lol And what's worse is, the first time, I only meant to insult myself and ended up insulting one of my friends. I don't think she was mad or hurt. She laughed. But I still felt bad.  The second time was just me being un-PC when this same friend is very PC about a few things. I guess I just always trust my friends to know what I mean and how I mean it but she and I aren't like, you know, close, friends. *sigh* I don't think she was mad, though, about either. But again, I still felt bad. Sis2 brought the...

...a year older. ...suffering from adult acne. It's painful. And okay, so it's ONE ZIT. But please. I'm 31 now. Can I send it back? Please? ...a little fluffier than I'd like to be. Which is saying a lot since I'm normally huge already. ...happy. ...sad. ...thankful for all the awesome people in my life. I wish I appreciated them better. I'm a terrible friend/daughter/sister. ...wishing life came with an instruction manual. ...thrilled that I'm the favorite aunt. ...a little sad that I can't be with my nieces and nephew more. Holding hands with a two-year old is more precious than words. So is a 5 month old who falls asleep on my chest almost the instant I take him in my arms. ...feeling as though I've figured a few things out, growing up and discovering life. ...wondering why I let myself be vulnerable. And wishing I could allow myself to do it more often. ...thinking that a break with my friends is in order. Even though I took...

And it apparently likes to make fun of me. Why am I not suprised?? lol So, a while back I think I may have jokingly  posted about how the universe was telling me to get a new vacuum because a few of my reguarly read home bloggers had just had to purchase one. And, well, I think I'm going to need to buy myself one, now. *sigh* Thursday night, in preparation for Sis1 coming to stay with me for the weekend, I dragged out the hand-me-down Dirt Devil that Mama had passed on to me when she got a new one. As I began vacuuming the carpet in the Devil Pup's room, it started stinking and making a weird noise and wasn't picking up anything. So I cut it off, lifted it up to check and make suret here wasn't anything hung up in their and the blame thing threw up on the carpet. Seriously, it was vacuum vomit. lol Then, me being an idiot, I lifted the attachment hose and it spewed all over the place too. So, not only didn't I have a freshly vacuumed carpet, I now had two pile...

I'm feeling a little achy today. Trying to improve my posture is a biscuit. But I'm told that if you learn to not slouch and suck in your gut 90% of the time, it helps firm up your abs and make you look thinner. For me, "looking thinner" simply means my gut sticks out a half inch less than normal. But heck, a half inch is a half inch. I got a new Denise Austin DVD this week that I've been working with. I had told myself that this time around in the weightloss war I wasn't going to do "structured" excercise. But after I lost two pounds and then promptly gained them back I thought, heck. Why not? So upon Trixie's advice, I looked around for some indoor walking DVD's and lucked up on a Denise Austin one. I used to work out with DA all the time when she was on Lifetime and really liked her workouts. And lost a few pounds with them, too. So far, I've worked out two days with it. It's three seperate 15 minute one mile indoor walks. I...

Is old hat to me. In perusing MSN (I'm not so fond of their makeover, actually) I came across this article about a woman with a blog on how she's vowed to only spend $1 a day on food. The writer of the article found this to be a novel concept mostly because the woman was doing it for budgetary reasons and not a social experiment. Well, I got news for ya, honey. This ain't a new concept. Poor folks have been doing this for centuries. Maybe not exactly as low as $1 a day on food, but close to it. I, myself, have been living off of a $30 a week grocery budget for nearly two years. When I decided to stop using credit cards and start paying with cash, I limited myself to $30 a week. It briefly went up to $40 before I moved into an apartment in 2008 and rent went up. And boy, you'da thought that $10 extra a week was like Christmas! lol My $30 a week includes staple items like toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo, paper towels (which I limit on how much of those I use), d...

Or, "Why did I think these legs needed repainting, anyway?" So I figured out that sanding is not fun. Yeah, you'd think I'd have had an inkling. But no. I'm oddly optimistic about the ease of things I have not done before. And sanding? Not fun. My arm and hand still hurt. But for some reason, I decided (wisely) that I might oughta sand the metal legs before spraypainting. I sanded, and sanded and scrubbed and cried and huffed the hair outta my eyes and lamented my own stupidity to Libby and sanded some more. And you know what? I discovered something. The legs were originally chrome! Don't think I didn't consider just leaving them at that, cause I totally did. But the finish was still blimished from a few decades of wear and there were more rusty spots than I cared to look at. And besides--I'd already bought the spraypaint. So why not? I battled sprinkling rain, wind and a weak trigger finger but I got those puppies spray painted silver. Which...

I had scheduled a post yesterday (and it posted before I could change it) where-in I whined about my first childhood crush "Friending" my aunt but not me. But when I checked my email this morning, I had a friendship request from him. Turns out he's remarried and expecting a kid. And he just got laid off from his job. So I can't hate on him too badly now. *sigh* So, since I decided to ditch that post and start over and I have nothing interesting to say, I'll leave you with this in hopes that Spring will soon show her lovely face.

What does the Devil Pup do while her mama is staring at the happy wall? She eats when she's bored. Just like her mama.

I have this wall in my house. Whenever I feel down or sad or need a cheer up quick fix (and all the chocolate is gone and there is no booze to be had) I go and stare at this wall and suddenly I feel happier. My biggest girl, Emmy, (look closely and you'll discover her real name) grins back at me first. She's still got awkward teeth and girl's gonna need braces, but she's my first baby. I can still remember when she was born a million ten years ago. I was in my first semester my junior year of college, taking my introductory broadcasting courses. Sis1 called around 10pm on a Sunday night. "I think my water just broke and I can't stop peeing." hehehe Mama and I rushed around and left (Daddy had to work the next morning so he couldn't go). We had to swing by their house to pick up my aunt who'd come over to help them and before we knew it we were at the hospital. It was 11pm by then and Sis1 had already had her epidural. Sis2, Mama Aunt Lind...

Sometimes the only time people hear me is when I don't say a word. But should I open my mouth and speak, they go suddenly deaf. There are days, much like today, (and yesterday evening) that my life would have been much richer had I never lived it. It is unjust that the wills of others change the direction of my life without my consent. If our church is a family, then I am the ugly stepchild. Sometimes speaking your mind is like putting ten dollars worth of gas in your car...it might take you a little further down the road but isn't nearly enough to get you where you're going. Somehow the world always knows when I am on the path to healthy eating...it's then that the world throws as much garbage as it can at me. It knows I am an emotional eater and it conspires to keep me fat. I wish chocolate really could cure all. I'd go swimming in it. Compassion isn't just a word. It's an action. If your mind is already made up nothing anyone else can do w...

I find myself censoring what I say on Facebook. It's unfair. I can't be ME on there anymore. Too many people I actually know (but they don't really know me!) on there now. People who know me in real life take my references to single life and needing a man seriously. They wouldn't get the joke that I wanted to leave on my status update that would have read: "Dear God, Since I can't get a man, can I at least get a 37" LCD HDTV?" They'd have been all, "Jana, men are not all they're cracked up to be" and then gossiped about how sad/pathetic I am being all manless. *sigh* But dang, I really want that TV. *big sigh* My folks would like, crap a brick if I bought one though. And what would I do with the 27" standard TV they gave me for college graduation? It's too big to fit in my bedroom. Although, I'd love to have TV in my bedroom. Not that I'd probably watch it all that much. Hmmmm... Ugh, I don't need a n...

You know, dogs are fun. They're up in your face, givin' you kisses and sharing their doggy breath. They do goofy things like beg for treats and belly rubs and listen when you talk. But cats...Cats are the feline version of a snotty high school cheerleader. lol I'm not overly fond of cats, really. Don't get me wrong. I think they're adorable. I even look at (and giggle at) LOL Cats. (as witnessed here on this blog.) But cats in "person"? Not really. I grew up with a horde of cats. They're good cuddlers. But they're also painful scratchers. And at some point along the timeline of my life I developed a bit of a fear of them. As in, if I cross paths with one, I go the long way to avoid actually coming near it. And should one take a liking to me? And want to sit in my lap? Or rub my legs? I nearly hyperventilate. I mean, I'll pet it and talk to it but it's with this sort of glazed  get-this-thing-offa-me-before-it-kills-me panic. It may or...

Dear Heavenly Father, Forgive me for being a judgemental crankypants. Please help me to find it within me to show others a bit of grace. Amen. P.S. Did I spell judgemental correctly? If not, please help me to become a better speller. Amen again.

I'm not normally an easily spooked person. Paranoid? You betcha. I'm paranoid out the wazoo about a ton of things that life's experiences had dealt me. But easly spooked? Not really. (The sleepless night I spent after first watching The Sixth Sense notwithstanding.) But last night...I admit, I did get a little spooked. That escaped who's-it is still at large and while I haven't been neccessarily scared, I have taken precautions. I always keep my doors locked, of course, but I also locked my car doors (something I never have done in the country.), locked my storage room door that is open from the carport outside, I try to stay "aware" whenever I take Libby out after dark and just, in general, practice other common sense safty measures. I, unlike a lot of the single women in our area, haven't lost any sleep over it. I haven't dwelled on it, worried about it, or even thought much about it beyond the safety measures I mentioned. I even refused w...

My friend Amina forwarded this email to me and I almost deleted without reading it. Not because I don't love Amina...I do! She's awesome! But I find myself annoyed a lot with email forwards so I've become accustomed to deleting without reading. But this time...Well, I guess the Father wanted me to read it and share it. It's heaven as viewed by a 17-year-old boy. The original email said that it was penned as a class assignement by a boy named Brian, who died in an accident. I don't know if that's true or not, but either way, it's a view of heaven that I think we can all grasp and relate to. I know I did. And you know, it's funny, too, because I had a post in mind that I had intended to write today. A post dealing with faith and what an awful Christian I am with some ranting about some issues we're facing in our church right now. But instead, I'd rather share this. The Room In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the...

Or I feel that way. Ugh. I gotta tell ya, I'm struggling with this whole "activity" thing. Not that I'm not enjoying it. I am. Sorta. I try to always make it fun...like dancing, not like excercise. And for the most part it's working. I don't dread getting up off the couch/recliner/etc. and shakin' my hips to some funtastic music. But... *Groan* My body is so angry with me right now. I'm stiff and sore and just altogether in pain. lol I know the old saying is "no pain, no gain" and all but, sheesh! I haven't hurt this bad since that one time I tried doing "The Firm." Ouch!

Ya'll, I had a weird experience last night. I'm probably just losing my mind and since there's not much left to lose, it shouldn't take long. lol But yeah. Last night=weird. Around ten I got up and started getting ready for bed and such and called the DP to go out one more time. When I got the door that leads out onto the carport, I noticed something moving outside by the carport. The blinds on the door's window were shut but I could see through the cracks. Anyway, my first thought was that that wacko escapted whos-it was out there. (He's still on the lamb.) So I cracked the blinds open a little further and realized that it was a dog. I assumed it was my neighbor's dog out for his last run of the night. But then I looked closer and ya'll...I could have sworn it was my lab/sharpe mix, Izzy...the one that has lived with the folks since my knee injury in 2006. The same size, same fat head (I used to call her fat head. It's adorable in it's f...

Do you know where your productivity is?

I had fully intended to veg on the couch when I got home Saturday but...I don't know. I've gotten to where I just can't seem to sit still much anymore. I've got to be busy doing something. Otherwise I get antsy and bored and either go in search of food (bad) or I think too much. (dangerous) Instead of vegging I did laundry and cleaned up the kitchen. Made a Peanut Butter Pie that is...Mmmmm...mmm...goooood. Actually, it's a little bit too peanut buttery for me but the Folks said "Ain't nothing wrong with this pie." At least, that's what Daddy said. lol And if Daddy likes it, it must be good. So that's all that matters. That Daddy liked it. If I ever make one just for me, I do think I'll cut the PB in half and add a bit of extra cream cheese. Maybe mix in some chopped Reese's cups...Tons of possibilities with this pie to improve upon. Mostly, I just enjoyed making it. Ya'll have probably already figured this out from recent mont...