CAUTION: Woman In Progress

I am utterly thankful for my parent's forsight in settling in northeast Mississippi after they married 32 years ago and discouraging me from following my bliss to the coastal town of Bay St. Louis. Yes, not so long ago my dream was to leave my tiny college town and plant roots on the Gulf Coast. Having visited there last September I fell in love with the coast. It's beauty. It's serenity. The laid-back, devil-may-care attitude of the residents. The beautiful homes. The beach. The water. Heck, even the sky seems brighter, bigger and more serene down there. I had a plan niggled in the back of my mind. A deep dark dream of pulling out of town and planting myself in some beachside estate and opening a coffee shop bookstore or a B&B down there. I had this vision of walking everywhere I needed to go. Going antiquing. Late afternoon walks on the beach with the surf washing over my feet. Driving the bridge to Pass Christian to visit the little shopps and stores there. And shoot...

Just taking a moment to say that my thoughts and prayers go out to all those who live in New Orleans and along the Mississippi and Alabama Gulf Coast. I know I'll be affected somewhat and I pray that I'm not as affected as badly as they are predicting, but to all those whose prospects look bleak for having a home to return to, my heart, thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless, Jana

As one who works on a college campus and seeing the freshmen get younger and younger each year, I always find this particular list fun. It's great to know what these kids have experienced as opposed to what I experienced growing up. So here's this list with some of my thoughts on the matter... (Thanks for the suggestion, H.) *Note: My comments will be in ( ) . BELOIT COLLEGE'S MINDSET LIST® FOR THE CLASS OF 2009 Most students entering college this fall were born in 1987. (Yikes! I was in the 3rd grade by then!) 1. Andy Warhol, Liberace, Jackie Gleason, and Lee Marvin have always been dead. (Okay, so who the heck are these people and why am I supposed to know about them? Yeah, I've heard of Andy Warhol and the Name Jackie Gleason sounds familiar...guess I'll have to Google them... Oh wait...wasn't Liberace the guy with all the "ice"?) 2. They don't remember when "cut and paste" involved scissors. (Uh, what level of bozos are we dealing wit...

Inspiration. Sometimes this is the most illusive aspect to creativity. People the world over many times suffer from lack of inspiration. Over the past week I would venture to guess that inspiration, more than anything else, is what has been eluding me. Yeah, my mind is scattered, my thoughts are in chaos much of the time when I have thoughts at all. But after yesterday I realize that the lack of inspiration has been the culprit of my empty head. You see, for me, I've never really thought of the need to be inspired to do anything that I normally do such as writing, singing, or creating. It's just something that I do. Like breathing. Breath in. Write. Breath out. Sing. Breath in...well, you get the idea. But lately, the smallest accomplishments have been hardwon. I've struggled with the ability to even think clearly enough to get out of bed in the morning. Forget about making sense of my work. And writing? Dream on. May as well attempt to climb Everest. But something happened...

In reading my friend Heather's response to the list of songs I posted earlier I was inspired to represent the case for my lack of education on what she terms "the classics". It's all in good fun ya'll so have a giggle. Now I was raised by parents who didn't give a rat's patootie about most of that kind of music. Though my mama grew up in a musical family and performed in a gospel group until shortly after she married they aren't particularly passionate about any kind of music . I wasn't exposed to a plethera of "classics." I grew up listening to Conway Twitty (blech), Kenny Rogers, Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynnette, The Forrester Sisters, George Strait, Crystal Gale and yes, the all important Dolly Parton. I didn't even get to listen to Johnny Cash or Willie Nelson until college because my dad doesn't like them. We were poor and didn't buy new music much so my early musical experiences were limited to the albums (yes...those bl...

Still nothing floating at the house of Jana. Not sure why my mind is such a mess. Maybe I'm finally crashing after the horrible onslaught of worries, work and general crap that I've had to endure over the past eight months. And for the time being, I'm so sick of myself that inner reflection just makes me queasy. lol So once again, I borrowed an idea from another friend's blog. Yeah, sue me. I'm a copy cat. lol This is a list of the top 100 songs from the year I was born, 1979. I've bolded the ones that I like and italicized the one's I've actually heard before. Also, I'm adding some random thoughts on some of the songs. 1. My Sharona, The Knack (Shudder...sorry, can't stand this one...) 2. Bad Girls, Donna Summer (hehehehe this one is just tooooo fun) 3. Le Freak, Chic 4. Da Ya Think I'm Sexy, Rod Stewart (If this is the song I'm thinking of...) 5. Reunited, Peaches and Herb 6. I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor (This has been my theme song fr...

http://sturgismsrally.com Just thought I'd share a little peak into what town looked like all over this weekend. hehehe The Sturgis South Motorcycle Rally was in session this weekend and it usually keeps all of Oktibbeha Co. entertained with the amount of motorcycles blazing up and down the various highways...And trust me...you see that loooooooong line of motorcycles? That is just a taste. The bikers normally do a little parade through town on the Friday evening before the events start. It's truly a sight to see. Folks come from all over the US on their motorcycles and the line in the parade lasts for MILES. One of these years I'm going to actually GO to the rally. I've heard it's a lot of fun...

I have struggled and thought and written and deleted and am unable to come up with anything creative, insightful or even innane to blog about today. It's as though all original thought has fled me. Sure, I could rant and rave about the latest insults, inconveniences, and whatnot that have been foisted on me this morning but no one likes a whiney butt. lol So, I was reading a friend's blog this morning and she had posted this game, I guess you could call it, where 100 of the greatest movies of all time are listed and you're supposed to bold the ones you've seen. Since I have only seen perhaps five of the movies listed and would be embarrassed by my lack of culture, I've decided to list MY greatest movies of all time...let's say top 20. That way you can at least say things like "Gracious, THAT'S on her top 20?" and "How did THAT rank so low/so high on her list?" and "Could she BE any more shallow with her list?" ;-) Jana's Top...

Surprise!! I'm here on a Saturday morning. Betcha though you wouldn't hear from me today. Or maybe that was just your wishful thinking. ;-) Be that as it may, I'm here and I have an hour and 45 minutes before I can gratefully go home. So, in honor of this rare opportunity of blogging on a Saturday morning I would like to waste your time with the randomness of my ever progressing mind. Or is it digressing? hehe WARNING: If mindless drivel bores you, stop reading. I can get pretty mindless on an empty stomache. Two consecutive cups of coffee is never a good idea when you know you have a 30 minute drive and three hours of perpetual sitting ahead of you. Potty breaks anyone? Eating anything is better than eating nothing when you know you're going to have to work through lunch. Why didn't I just kick my own lazy butt and scramble a dang egg? Now I'm hungry! Turning the TV on is not a good idea when you know you're just going to have to leave. But dangit! There...

Ever met someone who is passionate about her TV shows? Well, if not, you have now. Yeah, I'm probably fairly sad with how involved I become with some shows but believe me...I know some folks who are a LOT worse than me. Just trust me on this. I have maybe a handful of shows that I watch without fail whenever they're on and set my VCR to tape if I'm out. (Yeah, I still have a VCR...and I will until they no longer make 'em) Monday night is Medium night. Tuesday night is BB6 in the summer Charmed on TNT in fall. Wednesday is Lost and Alias (in regular season anyway) Thursday night is BB6 in summer and Will and Grace in fall. Friday night sucks since they cancelled Joan of Arcadia. Saturday night is BB6 in summer and Trading Spaces. Sunday night is Desperate Housewives and The 4400 in summer. Everyday things are Gilmore Girls on ABC Family, 30 Minute Meals on Food Network and Bold and the Beautiful. Last night, of course, was BB6. Now, I'm not one to enjoy many reality ...

It's that time of year again...Fall semester. Young, innocent, unsuspecting freshmen flock 'en masse to the small college town in which I live. Wal-mart will be jammed to capacity all hours of the day and night. Already there has been a massive rise in traffice accidents in town and yesterday afternoon I sat in a line of traffice a mile long trying to get off campus for home. The lazy, hazy, dog-days of summer are gone. Yeah, the tempuratures are still soaring but now, so too is the population. It wasn't so long ago when I was a member of that glazed-eyed group of innocent unsuspecting youngsters though it seems further and further away each year. A mere eight years ago I was wondering around campus in a daze of confusion, fresh off the "farm". A country bumpkin come to town. Luckily for me I had my sister, a sophomore by then, to help me navigate the wiley streets of campus, give me apt directions to the various buildings and explain to me what the heck a crosswa...

I'm a dreamer. I've dreamed of greatness since I was able to form discernable thought. When I was really young my dream was to become the next Dolly Parton. Hey, don't laugh. Back then she was better known for her music than her boobs. I would sit and listen to her for hours on end, my voice blending with hers. I would sit in the tub at bathtime and drive my parents crazy singing my full repertoire of songs that I knew by heart. I'd sing them at the top of my lungs while splashing Barbie's head under the water. Outside the tub I'd hide in my room and grab the nearest microphone resembling object and belt out "Jolene" or "Don't it Make my Brown Eyes Blue" (never mind that my eyes were nowhere near brown to begin with.) It was after the awkward childvoice stage that my mother decided that I actually had a decent voice. Having grown up in a singing family herself, she decided that I needed to start singing in church. So I did. I sang solo...

When I started this blog, I declared myself a woman in progress. Someone made mention that we are all works in progress. For me, that is very reassuring to know.It's comforting to know that there are others out there who find themselves striving to be better. To be more. To grow into the woman they always wanted to become. Back before my sister got married, we used to have a lot of those deep, thought provoking conversations. You know the kind. What are we here for? When will the world at large take us seriously? When will our real lives start? Why do we still feel like children playing dress up? For her, the answers turned out to be marriage. All of the answeres came back: Marriage. She's a wife. Her purpose in life is to follow her husband's lead. She is finally part of the elitist crowd known to me as the smug married couples. This earns her respect of the masses. She says she finally feels grown up. For myself, I fear that marriage would be the END of the questions. I...

I love that line of the Sheryle Crowe song "A Change Would Do You Good." I often times feel like putting that as the outgoing message on my answering machine. It's long been common knowledge among family and friends alike that I despise telephones. I don't mind talking to friends and family if I've something to say or if they have a desperate need to unburden themselves but I don't, as a rule, like phones. I would happily live without one if I didn't think I might someday have to call 911 to come save my butt from a random accident. Or, you know, if Heaven forbid something terrible should happen to a loved one and I need to get to the hospital ASAP But phones for phones' sake just aren't top on my list of preferred communications. I love letters. Handwritten. E-mail. It's all good. My attention span is wide open to reading letters. My attention span for listening, however...not so much. And my brain doesn't think fast enough to instantly re...

My mind is free from deep thoughts today. No ramblings on the inner workings of my mind and no new updates on my progression into emotional growth. I'm pondering a few things but can't seem to get them into written form and still make sense. So instead I'll ramble on about my second favorite subject. My niece. My niece started kindergarten yesterday. KINDERGARTEN! It seems that just yesterday she was this chubby little bundle of joy bouncing in my arms and now she's this little person with developed thoughts, worries, concerns and is fully capable of carrying on an actual conversation. She was so excited about the prospect of kindergarten or "big kid school" as she calls it. She was actually disappointed because she didn't have homework last night! lol I didn't dare tell her how quickly she was likely to get over that. It amazes me the changes I see in her each time she comes to visit or calls me. It's like she's growing up right in front of me...

I'm feeling a little blue today so forgive me for using this space to whine a little. I miss my sister. Terribly. I reach for the phone to call her only to realize that I can't. I type in her old e-mail address to forward her a "funny" that I think she'll enjoy only to remember that she's no longer at that address. I drive past the street of her old apartment and tears well up in my eyes. No, my sister isn't dead. She's married. For the longest while my sister and I were joined at the hip. Where you saw one you most likely saw the other. In fact, most times if we weren't together at some function or another people found it strange. We shared many of the same friends. When I was a college freshman she took me around campus and showed me all the hot spots. Helped me find my classes and reassured me that those first couple of days when I wanted to quit would pass and it would get better. She was a sophomore, so she knew. Seventeen months apart in age...

As a general rule, I don't spend much time pondering the state of my love life or lack thereof. I read romances incessantly so for the most part I don't miss not having it in my life. I've been told on numerous occasions that real life doesn't mimic a good romance novel anyway so I would only be dissillusioned. This would upset me greatly so it's not often that I mourn the lack of a man in my life. A conversation yesterday, however, got me to thinking about it. Not obssesively but just wondering. A co-worker and I were in the staff lounge watching our soap, The Bold and the Beautiful if you're curious and we got to talking about relationships and heartbreak. You see, a few of the characters on the show are going through some serious issues of the heartbreak kind and this co-worker, I'll call her Blondie cuz she's blonde to the brain, well she is obsessed with her lack of love life. She knows that I've never been in a serious relationship. Never had m...

I've often times wondered just to what degree I am invisible and if it was just one particular person, a group of people or a particular place that rendered me invisible. You see, I have this penchant for being overlooked. Now I am by no means neccessary a small person. In fact, I've got quite a bit of mass going on here. I'm not tall but at 5' 6 I'm no little person either. In fact I tend to tower over my shorter sisters and mom and most of my friends. So why then doesn't anyone see me? Of course I realize it's unfair to say that no one sees me. There are plenty of people who see me just fine. Probably see me more than they would like. But there are those who no matter how brightly I smile or how much effort I put into looking nice just never seem to realize that I'm standing there at all. For instance there is a preacher who is my age who I have known at a distance since I was 17. He's friends with my grandfather, was the pastor of the church where...

I had a first Friday. Something that I've always wished I could do but never had the courage to actually do it. I started a conversation with a stranger!! lol My mother has always been the sort of woman who has never met a stranger. You know the type. She could carry on a conversation with a stop sign and the stop sign would go away thinking they had just met the friendliest woman on earth. This behavior embarrassed me greatly when I was young as most characteristics of mothers do. Now that I'm older I've come to appreciate and admire that in her. Me, I've always been incessantly shy. A loner. My words get stuck in my throat and it's as though my brain goes numb so that no coherent thought forms until after the opportunity to speak has already passed. I stare longly at the backs of peoples heads sometimes just shaking at the thought of actually initiating conversation no matter how much I long to do so. Friday afternoon I was standing in line at the post office. P...

I have these friends. Yeah, I still call them friends. Best friends even. These friends are what many would call fair weather friends. But I love them anyway. I've long suspected that these friends don't listen to me when I talk. Something in the glaze of their eyes or the distracted "uh-huhs" over the telephone. Or maybe it's the fact that half the time when I'm talking to someone on the phone I can hear them talking to thier kids in the background. No "hang on a sec, Timmy's got a question." Nope. They just start talking to the kid while I'm in the middle of a sentance. I'm never sure if I'm supposed to stop talking and wait for them to say "Sorry. You were saying?" Or do I keep talking? I usually stop but sometimes I keep going just to see how long they'll try to talk over me. Of course, as anyone with kids will tell you, sometimes kids are too impatient to wait until Mommy's friend finishes telling about the crab...