Grunts, Rants and a Positive Or Two
Somedays it sucks to be me. Usually cuz I'm just too darn emotional to not take some things personal but when it sucks it sucks. Doesn't matter why.
So yesterday was a really odd day. It felt weird anyway but I don't know. I just felt...off somehow. Sort of like I was watching myself from outside my body or just sort of there but not. Make sense?
Started out with a sort of good cop/bad cop feel to it. On the plus side, I got up the first time the alarm clock went off which I haven't done in a loooooong while. I usually feel pretty positive about days like that. If I'm feeling good enough to roll out without hitting the snooze a few times I figure, "Today's going to be a good one." Well, almost immediately I was informed that I was off a bit. It had rained the day and night before and guess what. The tub backed up when I was in the shower. One minute I'm rinsing the shampoo out of my hair and the next I'm standing in ankle deep water meaning that the septic system is messed up again. Ugh! I soooooo don't want to deal with this and I REALLY don't want to call my landlord again. He got a little pissed the last time this happen. Why he would get mad at me, I don't know. I'm not the one who's too cheap to call the dudes out there to dig the thing up and replace it and the field line with some spankin' new hardware. The RotoRooter dudes TOLD him he needed to replace it the FIRST time they came out like FOUR YEARS AGO!!! But anyway, the place is cheap so I shouldn't complain terribly, right? *sigh*
Anyway, off to work I go. Get there, it isn't so bad. Quiet. Peaceful. Nice chat or two with some co-workers. And the BAM!! I get hit in the face with my own stupidity. I hate it when that happens.
To explain, you see I have to go back a little ways. About a month ago I started somehow and quite unintentionally provoking this student assistant into harrassing me. Not like, sexual or abusive harrassement...just, he lurks in wait for me to say something sarcastic, sometimes even setting me up to say something sarcastic or something that could be construed as mean. Once the words are out, he jumps all over it going off about how cold I am and how mean and cruel I've gotten lately. He laughes while he says it, trying to make it seem like a joke but he goes on and on and on until I'm just...well, I want to rip off his arm and beat him over the head with it before shoving it down his throat! Grrrr...
I'm, by nature, a sarcastic person. I come by it naturally having been raised by a father who is equally sarcastic. Those who know me well know this. It isn't malicious or intentionally cruel. It's just, if you hand me an opening, I take it without any thought. And sometimes the things I say aren't even sarcastic so much as they are just jokes, you know? I enjoy teasing folks who know I'm just teasing.
But this dude--I guess the feeling I get is that he, for whatever reason, doesn't like me and wants to either make me feel bad about myself or make others dislike me as well. Yesterday morning was just the start of his thing yesterday. I walked into that trap three times yesterday. The last time was right at 4:30 so when he started his diatribe about how cold and cruel I am, I just got up and left. Cried all the way home.
I had promised myself after the first couple of times that I just wouldn't speak around this guy. I'd be polite and say hello or bye or answer any work related questions but no socializing. This worked for about a week or so and we didn't have any run-ins. I guess I got comfortable and let my guard down and he sensed it or something. What really irritates me is that I used to like this guy. Not like him like him, but you know, he was nice and funny and easy to be around. We used to joke and laugh. I don't know what I did to irk him but now whenever I see him I just feel my blood pressure rising, my skin gets tight across my forehead and I feel sick in the pit of my stomach.
Lovely, isn't it?
But one perky thing that happend yesterday was that a totally random guy in the hall just stopped mid-stride, smiled really wide and said a hearty good morning how do you do. It's so rare that anyone is just so randomly friendly I couldn't stop smiling after.
But then, later that afternoon, I was out and about with a couple of co-workers on break when we ran into a former student assistant. A really sweet guy who worked for us about a semester a couple years ago. He totally remembered my two co-workers, greated them warmly--by name, mind you--chatted a bit. He didn't have a CLUE as to who I was or even act like he felt he should know me. Yeah, my hair is tons longer and I've likely put on a few pounds since he saw me last but sheesh! I don't look that different. Guess I'm just totally forgetable. *rolls eyes*
The night, at least, turned out better. After I got over my crying jag, I made supper and settled in on the couch to finish Her Mother's Shadow. It had a great ending and was a super good book. Now I want to go back and see if I can find the book that preceded it and read her brother's story.
Had just finished the book and picked up my Better Home and Garden's magazine when DQ called. I hadn't spoken to her in about a month or so and had really got to missing her. I hadn't called her because her hubby just came back from Iraq a couple of months ago and I didn't want to intrude. She says it always takes them so long to get back into the groove of being married and living together when he comes back.
Anyway, she called and we talked for nearly an hour and a half. It was one of those really great conversations that just sort of flows naturally. I vented to her a little about the dude and she commiserated with me even though I'm sure I wasn't making any sense. I tend to be incoherant when I'm agitated. lol I caught up with her on some of the things going on in her life and then we just sort of got silly like we used to when we were teenagers. It was really a lot of fun. I had forgotten that we used to be almost like sisters. It's really hard being so far away and having to make every phone call or visit count.
After we finally hung up, I watched Medium, which rocked btw, and then I hauled my butt off to bed where I proceeded to obsess about the mean dude for a couple of hours. You know, plotting his death. That sort of thing. hehehe
So yesterday was a really odd day. It felt weird anyway but I don't know. I just felt...off somehow. Sort of like I was watching myself from outside my body or just sort of there but not. Make sense?
Started out with a sort of good cop/bad cop feel to it. On the plus side, I got up the first time the alarm clock went off which I haven't done in a loooooong while. I usually feel pretty positive about days like that. If I'm feeling good enough to roll out without hitting the snooze a few times I figure, "Today's going to be a good one." Well, almost immediately I was informed that I was off a bit. It had rained the day and night before and guess what. The tub backed up when I was in the shower. One minute I'm rinsing the shampoo out of my hair and the next I'm standing in ankle deep water meaning that the septic system is messed up again. Ugh! I soooooo don't want to deal with this and I REALLY don't want to call my landlord again. He got a little pissed the last time this happen. Why he would get mad at me, I don't know. I'm not the one who's too cheap to call the dudes out there to dig the thing up and replace it and the field line with some spankin' new hardware. The RotoRooter dudes TOLD him he needed to replace it the FIRST time they came out like FOUR YEARS AGO!!! But anyway, the place is cheap so I shouldn't complain terribly, right? *sigh*
Anyway, off to work I go. Get there, it isn't so bad. Quiet. Peaceful. Nice chat or two with some co-workers. And the BAM!! I get hit in the face with my own stupidity. I hate it when that happens.
To explain, you see I have to go back a little ways. About a month ago I started somehow and quite unintentionally provoking this student assistant into harrassing me. Not like, sexual or abusive harrassement...just, he lurks in wait for me to say something sarcastic, sometimes even setting me up to say something sarcastic or something that could be construed as mean. Once the words are out, he jumps all over it going off about how cold I am and how mean and cruel I've gotten lately. He laughes while he says it, trying to make it seem like a joke but he goes on and on and on until I'm just...well, I want to rip off his arm and beat him over the head with it before shoving it down his throat! Grrrr...
I'm, by nature, a sarcastic person. I come by it naturally having been raised by a father who is equally sarcastic. Those who know me well know this. It isn't malicious or intentionally cruel. It's just, if you hand me an opening, I take it without any thought. And sometimes the things I say aren't even sarcastic so much as they are just jokes, you know? I enjoy teasing folks who know I'm just teasing.
But this dude--I guess the feeling I get is that he, for whatever reason, doesn't like me and wants to either make me feel bad about myself or make others dislike me as well. Yesterday morning was just the start of his thing yesterday. I walked into that trap three times yesterday. The last time was right at 4:30 so when he started his diatribe about how cold and cruel I am, I just got up and left. Cried all the way home.
I had promised myself after the first couple of times that I just wouldn't speak around this guy. I'd be polite and say hello or bye or answer any work related questions but no socializing. This worked for about a week or so and we didn't have any run-ins. I guess I got comfortable and let my guard down and he sensed it or something. What really irritates me is that I used to like this guy. Not like him like him, but you know, he was nice and funny and easy to be around. We used to joke and laugh. I don't know what I did to irk him but now whenever I see him I just feel my blood pressure rising, my skin gets tight across my forehead and I feel sick in the pit of my stomach.
Lovely, isn't it?
But one perky thing that happend yesterday was that a totally random guy in the hall just stopped mid-stride, smiled really wide and said a hearty good morning how do you do. It's so rare that anyone is just so randomly friendly I couldn't stop smiling after.
But then, later that afternoon, I was out and about with a couple of co-workers on break when we ran into a former student assistant. A really sweet guy who worked for us about a semester a couple years ago. He totally remembered my two co-workers, greated them warmly--by name, mind you--chatted a bit. He didn't have a CLUE as to who I was or even act like he felt he should know me. Yeah, my hair is tons longer and I've likely put on a few pounds since he saw me last but sheesh! I don't look that different. Guess I'm just totally forgetable. *rolls eyes*
The night, at least, turned out better. After I got over my crying jag, I made supper and settled in on the couch to finish Her Mother's Shadow. It had a great ending and was a super good book. Now I want to go back and see if I can find the book that preceded it and read her brother's story.
Had just finished the book and picked up my Better Home and Garden's magazine when DQ called. I hadn't spoken to her in about a month or so and had really got to missing her. I hadn't called her because her hubby just came back from Iraq a couple of months ago and I didn't want to intrude. She says it always takes them so long to get back into the groove of being married and living together when he comes back.
Anyway, she called and we talked for nearly an hour and a half. It was one of those really great conversations that just sort of flows naturally. I vented to her a little about the dude and she commiserated with me even though I'm sure I wasn't making any sense. I tend to be incoherant when I'm agitated. lol I caught up with her on some of the things going on in her life and then we just sort of got silly like we used to when we were teenagers. It was really a lot of fun. I had forgotten that we used to be almost like sisters. It's really hard being so far away and having to make every phone call or visit count.
After we finally hung up, I watched Medium, which rocked btw, and then I hauled my butt off to bed where I proceeded to obsess about the mean dude for a couple of hours. You know, plotting his death. That sort of thing. hehehe
Comments
As for sarcasm...it's a fine art, one I've mastered fairly well. I've been praised for my razor-sharp wit, but the thing I've noticed is that it's all too easy for others to turn it into something malicious, as happened to me with some of those people I refuse to name (naming them gives them power, which I refuse to do).
Those who truly know you know when you're serious, joking, defensive or just being sarcastic. And if someone seems to go on the defensive at something you've said, maybe it's because a comment hit too close to home, whether intended or not.
Of course, it could just be he's jealous of your quick wit, or has a secret sruch on you and turning on you is his way of hiding it. ;-)
I doubt that's it though. I think he's just a meanie. ;-)