Silly Email Things
Okay. I've gotten enough of these silly email "make a list, be honest and pass it on or you'll have a thousand needles in your eye" emails that it's past time for me to snark on them a bit. You know the ones. They say it's a game and "This really works!" and then at the end they hit you with "You must pass this on to a gazillion people within the next 20 seconds or you'll live a miserable life with boils in your side."
Got one just this morning. The Chinese Zodiac one. I thought that if it warned me not to scroll down and spoil the "fun" one more time I was going to reach into the screen, rip it out and have it for dinner.
So here it is, with my answers to the questions my comments to the so called predictions. (Warnings not to cheat included for your viewing pleasure.)
Horoscope test it will freak u out!
Freaky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHINESE HOROSCOPE: AMAZINGLY ACCURATE (Uh-huh. We'll see.)
Whatever you do, don't cheat! (First warning. Okay, cool. I won't cheat.)
CHINESE HOROSCOPE : THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON, WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN THE CHINESE NEW YEAR FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS - DO NOT CHEAT (Second warning. Okay, I said I wouldn't and I won't.) OR IT WON'T WORK AND YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T. (Is that a threat??) TAKE 3 MINUTES TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT. (Why? Does it look like that girl in "The Grudge"?) THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL (So, like, just because it's freaky they hafta shout AND disreguard proper puncuation?? And, uh, just what WAS her wish? That a gazillion people would be bombarded with this?)
NO CHEATING !!!! (Okay. Third warning. I get it already. You're making me want to cheat just cuz you say not to.)
THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME. (Okay. Is it funny or creepy? Cuz to me the two are wildly at odds. When I'm creeped out, it's in no way funny. And didn't you say it was freaky earlier? Again. Wildly at odds. So which is it?) DO NOT READ AHEAD, (Is this another sneaky way of saying "Do not cheat?" cuz I'm getting ready to hurl stuff...) JUST DO IT. (What am I? Nike?) IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY(Sure. Because, like, I have nothing better to do with my time than monkey around with a freaky, funny, creepy Chinese Zodiac Horoscope. Okay, so maybe I don't. Otherwise, I'd've hit delete by now. BUT STILL!)
1st. Get PEN and PAPER (Sheesh! with the shouting already.)
2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW (But my imaginary friends are so much more FUN.)
3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! (Because the earth will stop spinning on it's axis if I have to stop and think about stuff??) Very important for good results. (Oh. Okay. Well, I guess that makes sense. *rolls eyes*)
4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON`T READ AHEAD otherwise YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN. (Okay. Are you just WANTING to get the crap beat out of you? And seriously. Would it kill you to use a little extra punctuation. You know, like, using more than one PERIOD?)
1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. (Because most people write right to left, right?)
2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER? (Whatami? A math freak?)
3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT (Okay, that's it. I'm coming in there...)
4. WRITE ANYONES NAME (like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)next to 4, 5, & 6. DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID (Gonna open up a can of whoop...booty. lol)
5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11 (Again with the periods...)
6. Finally, MAKE A WISH (I wish this blooming email would end...)
ARE YOU READY? (Sitting on pins and needles here...NOT!)
HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME (From here on out, I'm going to just write my answers next to the "key" with comments...)
1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in SPACE 2 (Of course I'd put an 8 here because I know 8 people who wouldn't be as annoyed with this game as I am. Guess that's why I'm sharing it with all of cyberspace. Surely at LEAST 8 people read this blog. LOL)
2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE (Um. No. I put my former crush on here and that ship has sailed...and Love? Bah! It wasn't even close.)
3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7 (Okay, well the relationship definitely would NOT work...THE preacher (you know the one)...and THAT ship sailed a long time ago, too. LOL) (I need to meet more people of the opposite sex...)
4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4 (Well...she IS supposedly my best friend but there are others I'd give a kidney to before her...)
5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL. (Huh. Well, that USED to be true. But ever since Sis2 got hitched, she doesn't know me as well as she used to.)
6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR LUCKY STAR (I'll be sure and tell Sis1 that. LOL What does that even mean, anyway?)
7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3 (Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats...Hmm...there could be some truth to that had he and I ever dated. He'd have likely driven me to violence.)
8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7 (Rascall Flatt's My Wish...I'm not EVEN going to go there.)
9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND (LOL Johnny Cash's It Ain't Me. Well gee. I guess that says a lot. I'm totally unavailable.)
10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE (Brad Paisley's When I Get Where I'm Going...You know? This is likely the only one even close to the truth, here.)
11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER (4 is my lucky number? Really? Cuz I think the last test I took like this said 18 was my lucky number. hehehehe)
SEND THIS TO A MINIMUM OF 10 PEOPLE WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS. IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE. IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE STRANGE HOW IT SEEMS TO WORK. (And strange how I didn't cheat and this thing STILL wasn't any fun...till I made fun OF it, anyway.)
Got one just this morning. The Chinese Zodiac one. I thought that if it warned me not to scroll down and spoil the "fun" one more time I was going to reach into the screen, rip it out and have it for dinner.
So here it is, with my answers to the questions my comments to the so called predictions. (Warnings not to cheat included for your viewing pleasure.)
Horoscope test it will freak u out!
Freaky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHINESE HOROSCOPE: AMAZINGLY ACCURATE (Uh-huh. We'll see.)
Whatever you do, don't cheat! (First warning. Okay, cool. I won't cheat.)
CHINESE HOROSCOPE : THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON, WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN THE CHINESE NEW YEAR FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS - DO NOT CHEAT (Second warning. Okay, I said I wouldn't and I won't.) OR IT WON'T WORK AND YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T. (Is that a threat??) TAKE 3 MINUTES TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT. (Why? Does it look like that girl in "The Grudge"?) THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL (So, like, just because it's freaky they hafta shout AND disreguard proper puncuation?? And, uh, just what WAS her wish? That a gazillion people would be bombarded with this?)
NO CHEATING !!!! (Okay. Third warning. I get it already. You're making me want to cheat just cuz you say not to.)
THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME. (Okay. Is it funny or creepy? Cuz to me the two are wildly at odds. When I'm creeped out, it's in no way funny. And didn't you say it was freaky earlier? Again. Wildly at odds. So which is it?) DO NOT READ AHEAD, (Is this another sneaky way of saying "Do not cheat?" cuz I'm getting ready to hurl stuff...) JUST DO IT. (What am I? Nike?) IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY(Sure. Because, like, I have nothing better to do with my time than monkey around with a freaky, funny, creepy Chinese Zodiac Horoscope. Okay, so maybe I don't. Otherwise, I'd've hit delete by now. BUT STILL!)
1st. Get PEN and PAPER (Sheesh! with the shouting already.)
2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW (But my imaginary friends are so much more FUN.)
3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! (Because the earth will stop spinning on it's axis if I have to stop and think about stuff??) Very important for good results. (Oh. Okay. Well, I guess that makes sense. *rolls eyes*)
4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON`T READ AHEAD otherwise YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN. (Okay. Are you just WANTING to get the crap beat out of you? And seriously. Would it kill you to use a little extra punctuation. You know, like, using more than one PERIOD?)
1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. (Because most people write right to left, right?)
2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER? (Whatami? A math freak?)
3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT (Okay, that's it. I'm coming in there...)
4. WRITE ANYONES NAME (like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)next to 4, 5, & 6. DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID (Gonna open up a can of whoop...booty. lol)
5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11 (Again with the periods...)
6. Finally, MAKE A WISH (I wish this blooming email would end...)
ARE YOU READY? (Sitting on pins and needles here...NOT!)
HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME (From here on out, I'm going to just write my answers next to the "key" with comments...)
1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in SPACE 2 (Of course I'd put an 8 here because I know 8 people who wouldn't be as annoyed with this game as I am. Guess that's why I'm sharing it with all of cyberspace. Surely at LEAST 8 people read this blog. LOL)
2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE (Um. No. I put my former crush on here and that ship has sailed...and Love? Bah! It wasn't even close.)
3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7 (Okay, well the relationship definitely would NOT work...THE preacher (you know the one)...and THAT ship sailed a long time ago, too. LOL) (I need to meet more people of the opposite sex...)
4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4 (Well...she IS supposedly my best friend but there are others I'd give a kidney to before her...)
5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL. (Huh. Well, that USED to be true. But ever since Sis2 got hitched, she doesn't know me as well as she used to.)
6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR LUCKY STAR (I'll be sure and tell Sis1 that. LOL What does that even mean, anyway?)
7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3 (Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats...Hmm...there could be some truth to that had he and I ever dated. He'd have likely driven me to violence.)
8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7 (Rascall Flatt's My Wish...I'm not EVEN going to go there.)
9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND (LOL Johnny Cash's It Ain't Me. Well gee. I guess that says a lot. I'm totally unavailable.)
10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE (Brad Paisley's When I Get Where I'm Going...You know? This is likely the only one even close to the truth, here.)
11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER (4 is my lucky number? Really? Cuz I think the last test I took like this said 18 was my lucky number. hehehehe)
SEND THIS TO A MINIMUM OF 10 PEOPLE WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS. IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE. IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE STRANGE HOW IT SEEMS TO WORK. (And strange how I didn't cheat and this thing STILL wasn't any fun...till I made fun OF it, anyway.)
Comments
OMG, stop already - you're killing me! ROFLMBO...too funny, girl!