How much action...

is too much action?

Oy! Talk about your run on sentences. LOL This is one I very nearly posted on my latest Drifter's story post.

Shocked at the unfamiliar intimacy, she wriggled until she’d pushed his hands from her sensitized flesh and pushed him away until he stood two feet in front of her, his hands dangling at his sides.

Thankfully I caught this one but it makes me wonder...How many more have slipped through the cracks?

:-O

Comments

Heather said…
Hehe...you do know I would have called you on the use of "pushed" twice in one sentence...right? Definitely a way to make this one tighter! ;)
Wed Apr 25, 12:26:00 PM 2007
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