Sucks To Be Me

So Friday was a bust. Complete bust. I'd be happy if I'd never lived it. I won't go into details because I promised my mother I'd forget about it and move on. A feat easier said than done. I'll never mention it to her again but forgetting is something it'll take me a long while to achieve. If ever. Unlike physical beatings, bruises left by words take a lot longer to heal. But she apologized and we hugged and made up and all was forgiven so I won't dwell.

I just...well, I've never really been the most secure person when it comes to my family--or anyone, really. Not sure if it's anything they've ever done to make me that way or if I was just born that way. And lately, it seems, I just feel like I'm that last piece of crusty bread from a sandwich. You know, the one that you don't really want to eat but you feel bad about wasting it so you give it to the dog? Yeah. That's me.

Anyway, after work Friday we stopped at Wal-Mart and I got all the stuff I needed for Saturday night and I decided to go ahead and get Libby a new crate. She was really outgrowing her old one so I bought her a "Condo." It's really just a crate made for extra large dogs but it looks like a condo compared to her old one. As soon as I get the pictures developed, I'll post a few. I even made a little sign out of card stock and stickers and put her name on the front. She was too cute, though, when I brought it in. It's almost as though she knew what it was. And of course, she had to help me put it together. Too funny.

Saturday was, of course, the big day. Reunion day. I went out to the folks' house late that afternoon and Sis1, who decided NOT to go with me, helped me get ready. Gave me a manicure and pedicure. Emmy gave me strict instructions that I was to tell her everything I did. (She later told me she expects a written report! lol) Daddy loaned me his truck and Mama loaned me her camera. For the record, I only asked to borrow the truck. My seats got wet in my car because I'd left the window down. I had decided after Friday's debacle that I wouldn't ask Mama for the camera. But she offered. After a slight hesitation I accepted. I wish now that I hadn't. But I'll get to that in a second.

So I got the place we were having the reunion just fine. Just to tell you how NOT bad the traffic is in my old hometown, by 7pm, all the downtown red lights were set to flashing yellow lights and I had a straight shot through town. ;-) So anyway, I get there and I'm the second person there, the first person being Mags, the head of the committee. We talk for a while and she admits that she'll be so glad when it's over because the other committee members were driving her nuts. Once they started showing up, I figured out why. One of them hit me with the "oh, we worked so hard here Thursday night, we wished you'd have been here" thing. I'd told Mags I couldn't make it because I had to work Friday and there's no way I was going to drive an hour (both ways) to go stand around and be made to feel useless (which is exactly what would have happened) when I knew I had to be up early the next day to go to work. Of the three girls who did go decorate, one of them (the one who hit me with the spiel) lives 5 minutes from the place, and the other two live about twenty minutes away. You do the math. I simply smiled and nodded and told her what a good job they'd done.

And then HE showed up. The guy I spent the better part of my teen years staring after with puppy dog eyes wishing he thought of me as something other than a sister. LOL He had his lovely fiance on his arm and barely spoke to me at first. It was only after the other girls I was standing with greeted him that he came over and hugged me. And stepped on my foot. LOL (For the record, while I might have had romance book daydreams about him over the past ten years I'm totally over the crush and just really missed the old comfortable friendship we had back then.) He looked exactly the same...only fuller. No, he hasn't gotten fat. Just filled out. And he seems more mature. I wish we could've talked more but he wouldn't really talk much to me while his fiance was around. When she stepped out to do whatever (I still don't know where she disappeared to) he came and sat with me for a bit and we got caught up. He seems really happy so I'm happy for him. :-)

My MC gig went well. We were all really informal so the two times I flubbed up didn't count. And I got a chuckle out of the crowd so I consider that a success.

But I really remember now why I was so glad to graduate high school. All the cliques that existed back then still exist. All the girls I disliked back then are still dislikable. I, apparently, will never be more than the dirt beneath their shoe--which is fine with me. Because if I ever fit in with those girls I hope someone will shoot me and put the world out of my misery. LOL

My pal Wanda was there, of course. So we palled around most of the night. She and I were dressed almost identically in black skirts and blouses. She even had her hair curled in ringlets. I teased her that she and I looked like we were in a band or choir or something. Which really makes me wish I had the pictures to show ya'll...

But...I broke my mother's camera.

*sigh*

I asked a friend to take my picture with another friend and well, I don't know if I dropped it or if she did but either way I watched in horror as my mother's treasured digital camera (Christmas gift from my dad) fell to the concrete floor with a nauseating crash. Needless to say, the rest of the evening was shot for me.

I mean, it'd have been bad enough if I'd done it any other time but add it to the fact that she and I were still kind of weird about Friday AND the fact that it was Mother's Day weekend and well, I didn't sleep a wink Saturday night. I just kept thinking, if she reacted so viciously to the little nothing thing Friday, how would she react to this?

She took it really well, though, especially when I promised her I'd replace it. (Thank God for income tax refunds!) She promised not to tell Daddy because we knew he'd flip and wouldn't speak to either of us for a year. (He's weird like that when he gives folks stuff. If something happens to the stuff he gives you, he gets mad at you. My mother lost a bracelet he gave her once and he still wouldn't speak to her for a week after she'd found it!)

Just figures...I finally buy a digital camera and it's to replace my mother's!

But mother's day went well, despite my feeling like I'd recently played stunt double for a punching bag. Sis2 came and Sis1's hubby treated us all to lunch. No other major mishaps or spats so all was well.