Feeling Peevish

I don't know if I'm just getting super grumpy in my old age or what but I'm feeling pretty peevish towards somebody these days. As in, anytime I see them I wish I could blink and make them go away. I mean, I've sort of always gotten along with this person in the past but lately it seems this person is just...I don't know. Picking away at my patience. Always arguing with everything I say...or worse, belittling me under the guise of being supportive. (It's called condescension!) It's just really, really irritating and I'm seriously thinking of leaving an entire group of friends just because I don't like the negativity of this one person. And because this one person sort of sucks the joy out of my interaction with them, too, with all the little digs at me. I honestly don't know what's up. What I did to provoke it or if I'm just imagining it or what. It's really quite bothersome.

I mean, I don't expect everyone I meet or know to like me but if we're going to share friends, I do expect a LITTLE respect. Even if it's in the form of avoiding each other. One need not subtly attack me under the guise of...

Oh, oh, oh, wait. I do know why this person is getting digs in at me now. It just dawned on me. I corrected this person on something once (very kindly, I thought, and was backed up by others) but I guess this person didn't like it. Oh well. Still not my problem. If you can't take gentle criticism or correction that's you shouldn't be a writer. And yeah, I've had plenty of gentle criticism of my writing and I can understand an initial bout of indignation but I got over it. And I CERTAINLY never took it out on the person doling it out. If anything, I admired her for being honest with me. If your friends can't be honest and open with you, they aren't really your friends.

But oh well.

I guess I shouldn't let this pettiness keep me away from an entire group of friends, right? But it's tiring and I'm just petty enough when treated poorly to let that kind of treatment drive me away.

I do know this. I will NOT dig back anymore. I WILL NOT.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Maybe you should ask her about it. In front of your friends. She digs at you, and you say "what do you mean, exactly?" to get some clarification on her statement. Then she'll be embarassed that she was called on it. Maybe, anyway. Course if she's just that way and you're reading her wrong, then it'll be apparent.
Wed Aug 08, 10:16:00 AM 2007
Heather said…
What she said. Ask in front of others what she means by a particularly snide comment, or just come right out and tell her that you would appreciate it if she stopped, that she may not agree with something you did/said, but you do deserve at least a little respect. Especially if this is happening in a public forum.

I've been in the poistion of losing friends twice due to others (you know what I mean), and it isn't fun, nor is it easy. You shouldn't have to give up an entire set of friends and contacts because someone else has a problem. It happens, but that doesn't make it right. If there is no change and she continues this behavior, just ignore her.

Good luck!
Wed Aug 08, 10:41:00 PM 2007
Jana said…
I'm not one to just call out a body on their behavior unless their either kin to me or I've known them long enough and well enough to say, "Hey, get your head outta your butt and stop acting like a donkey's butt!"

I'm going to try the old credo of "killing with kindness" and pour it on thick. See how that works. If it doesn't, I'm pretty good at ignoring what I don't want to hear or see.

Thanks for the advice, though.
Thu Aug 09, 01:05:00 PM 2007
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