I got a dilema and YOU can help!
Okay, so I have a question I need help with. Sort of an etiquette thing, I guess.
I recently did this favor for a co-worker who is also a dear friend. I've known her since I was a kid and have worked with her for about six years. (She's a few years older than my mother, if that makes a difference.) The favor was nothing particularly huge to me and did not require anything really taxing from me. I honestly didn't mind doing it and was glad to have the opportunity to help her out of a jamb. I did it merely because she's my friend, I trust her and have a great deal of respect for her.
Well, Tuesday she handed me this tightly folded bill of money (folded so that I couldn't see the digits) as payment for the favor. When I tried to return it to her, she insisted quite adhemently that I keep it and that it wasn't nearly enough to repay me this huge favor. I never unfolded it, thinking it was maybe a five or a ten which, I really didn't expect or ask for and didn't really want to accept because I didn't do the favor to GET anything, you know? But I took it because I was afraid of offending her, told her it wasn't neccessary and just dropped it in my purse and forgot about it.
Well, today I went out to lunch with a different friend and figured I could just use it to pay for my meal. When I pulled it out and unfolded it, ya'll, it was a $100 bill! Needless to say I shoved it in my wallet and used the $20 I'd been saving for groceries. My dilema is this:
I'm not terribly comfortable keeping such a large sum of money given as payment for a favor I never expected or wanted to receive payment for in the first place. Secondly, I feel bad because I didn't really thank her properly for it because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, on the assumption that it was a $5 or $10 so I feel ungrateful.
What should I do?
a.) Keep the money, and don't say anything further about it to her?
b.) Attempt to give the money back at the risk of making a big deal of it?
c.) Don't offer the money back but thank her properly for it?
d.) Offer the money back with a huge thanks but don't make a big issue of it if she won't accpet it?
e.) Explain the situation to her as I have here and ask her to take it back?
f.) Quit complaining and don't look a gift horse in the mouth?
I recently did this favor for a co-worker who is also a dear friend. I've known her since I was a kid and have worked with her for about six years. (She's a few years older than my mother, if that makes a difference.) The favor was nothing particularly huge to me and did not require anything really taxing from me. I honestly didn't mind doing it and was glad to have the opportunity to help her out of a jamb. I did it merely because she's my friend, I trust her and have a great deal of respect for her.
Well, Tuesday she handed me this tightly folded bill of money (folded so that I couldn't see the digits) as payment for the favor. When I tried to return it to her, she insisted quite adhemently that I keep it and that it wasn't nearly enough to repay me this huge favor. I never unfolded it, thinking it was maybe a five or a ten which, I really didn't expect or ask for and didn't really want to accept because I didn't do the favor to GET anything, you know? But I took it because I was afraid of offending her, told her it wasn't neccessary and just dropped it in my purse and forgot about it.
Well, today I went out to lunch with a different friend and figured I could just use it to pay for my meal. When I pulled it out and unfolded it, ya'll, it was a $100 bill! Needless to say I shoved it in my wallet and used the $20 I'd been saving for groceries. My dilema is this:
I'm not terribly comfortable keeping such a large sum of money given as payment for a favor I never expected or wanted to receive payment for in the first place. Secondly, I feel bad because I didn't really thank her properly for it because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, on the assumption that it was a $5 or $10 so I feel ungrateful.
What should I do?
a.) Keep the money, and don't say anything further about it to her?
b.) Attempt to give the money back at the risk of making a big deal of it?
c.) Don't offer the money back but thank her properly for it?
d.) Offer the money back with a huge thanks but don't make a big issue of it if she won't accpet it?
e.) Explain the situation to her as I have here and ask her to take it back?
f.) Quit complaining and don't look a gift horse in the mouth?
Comments
Where's Emily Post when you need her??
This is one of those ones that's always difficult. :)
Second, don't deny her her blessing. She felt moved to give it to you and maybe something's going to come up and you need to use it. God will bless her as He chooses. (That's how he works...I've seen it.)
Thirdly, don't feel guilty. Yes, I know this seems hard to do. You can pass the blessing on if you want. Remember the parable of the talents...the servant who invested was blessed. Well, blessings work the same way...when you're blessed, you bless others and the blessings are returned and all that.
I have this habit too of feeling guilty when I receive something hugely beneficial, especially if it's unexpected. Mom's uncle, who we really really love, has a habit of grabbing the check when we expect to pay. Drives Mom nuts. I say extra prayers for him. He doesn't do it to show off how well off he is. Not that he's rich, but he's worked all his life and it shows. He does it because he loves us that much.
If all else fails and the guilt won't go away, just pray on it. Tithe off the money and continue to ask God to show you what to do with it. And, if you'd like, go to her and give her a huge hug.
Oh...and don't panic about it. If you freak out, you might do the wrong thing.
Good luck!