Sometimes Dear Abby Ain't What You Need
Okay, so I confess. I've never been much of an advice column reader. I find it difficult to believe that a person who doesn't know me could ever help me with anything. There are, however, plenty of folks who DO write to them, read the columns and find comfort/help/good advice/ect. through advice columnists. To those people I say, "Good for you!" Nothing wrong with it. It's just not my cup of tea. We all take help where we can find it sometimes.
In recent months, however, out of sheer boredom, I've begun skimming the Dear Abby column. Part of my "new" job is to "read" newspapers from throughout the state to mark them to be clipped for research purposes. (what we call verticle files) As you might can imagine, reading newspapers day in and day out can become somewhat of a sleep-aid. To keep myself awake, I skim Dear Abby. (and the comics)
Like I said previously, if you find comfort or help in seeking her advice, more power to you. But folks? There are some things ya just don't need dear old Abby for. For instance, this poor schmuck in Minnesota--he's happily married at 55 but he finds a behind the ear hearing aid in his bed behind his pillow. Neither he nor his wife WEAR hearing aids. He asks Abby, "Should I be concerned?"
Uh, Duh. *rolls eyes* You didn't leave the hearing aid there. If your wife doesn't wear one, she didn't leave one there. Do you even need to ask yourself, "Where the crap (or rather, who) did it come from?"
Has the dude been living under a rock?
I know he may not want to confront the fact that his wife is likely cheating on him--barring the chance that a parent/grandparent who sports a hearing aid may have taken a nap there--but when something like that smacks you upside the head you got two choices. Ignore it and pretend you never saw it or confront the hag! Don't whine to poor Abby asking her should you be concerned. Of course you should be concerned, you dope. Some things you should be able to figure out on your own.
*shakes head*
Anyway, yeah. LOL I get highly entertained.
In recent months, however, out of sheer boredom, I've begun skimming the Dear Abby column. Part of my "new" job is to "read" newspapers from throughout the state to mark them to be clipped for research purposes. (what we call verticle files) As you might can imagine, reading newspapers day in and day out can become somewhat of a sleep-aid. To keep myself awake, I skim Dear Abby. (and the comics)
Like I said previously, if you find comfort or help in seeking her advice, more power to you. But folks? There are some things ya just don't need dear old Abby for. For instance, this poor schmuck in Minnesota--he's happily married at 55 but he finds a behind the ear hearing aid in his bed behind his pillow. Neither he nor his wife WEAR hearing aids. He asks Abby, "Should I be concerned?"
Uh, Duh. *rolls eyes* You didn't leave the hearing aid there. If your wife doesn't wear one, she didn't leave one there. Do you even need to ask yourself, "Where the crap (or rather, who) did it come from?"
Has the dude been living under a rock?
I know he may not want to confront the fact that his wife is likely cheating on him--barring the chance that a parent/grandparent who sports a hearing aid may have taken a nap there--but when something like that smacks you upside the head you got two choices. Ignore it and pretend you never saw it or confront the hag! Don't whine to poor Abby asking her should you be concerned. Of course you should be concerned, you dope. Some things you should be able to figure out on your own.
*shakes head*
Anyway, yeah. LOL I get highly entertained.
Comments
And dude...most writers would revel in reading all those newspapers - think of the ideas waiting to be found there!
I hate newspapers. I hate the news. This is not fun for me. I'd rather shave my head and give up writing forever.
One of the bajillion reasons why I skipped out on the whole broadcasting career (which I majored in) was because I realized I would forever be stuck in news hell. Why would I want to work in a field where I'd be FORCED to read/watch/report the news? I'm already prone to depression. Stick me in a vacuum of nothing but news 24/7? I'd be on suicide watch within a week.
Besides, newsprint stained fingers are not pretty--especially after the 100th newspaper of the day. If I didn't value my job and you know, didn't think arson was a terrible crime, I might consider tossing a lighted match into the newspaper closet.
Sincerily,
Jana
hehehehehehehehe