Coming In Last
It's a good thing I never played sports because it's become apparent to me that I'm destined to always come in last. Maybe it's my lack of ambition. Or maybe I have "doormat" stamped across my forehead. Or hell, maybe that's just my lot in life. Whatever the reason, I'd like to simply say, "ENOUGH ALREADY!"
People have been telling me for years that I needed to ask for what I want. Be brave, they say. The problem with that, I'm learning, is that even asking I rarely ever get what I want. When I DO get what I want, it's not because I asked, necessarily, but because it's convenient for everyone ELSE involved. And that's fine. I'm all for everyone being satisfied. But, when it happens that everyone else gets what they want, regardless of its convenience to ME, that's where I have the problem. Since when am I a lesser being than everyone else? Why is it that everyone else's needs are more important than mine? And why the HELL am I always the "go to" gall? Yes, I'm flexible. No, I don't have a problem compromising and sure, I try to always take everyone else into consideration. That's just natural to me. I guess it's my problem that I expect others to feel that way as well.
I'd always heard that you should treat people the way you want to be treated. So I guess I'll continue on as I have been. Sometimes there are nice rewards for doing so. But, the frustrations just seem to consistently outweigh the rewards. When every crumb of respect is fought for, every instance of decency is hardwon it's just difficult to remember that being kind, remaining considerate of others and treating others as you'd like to be treated isn't a bad thing. Even if it means coming in last.
People have been telling me for years that I needed to ask for what I want. Be brave, they say. The problem with that, I'm learning, is that even asking I rarely ever get what I want. When I DO get what I want, it's not because I asked, necessarily, but because it's convenient for everyone ELSE involved. And that's fine. I'm all for everyone being satisfied. But, when it happens that everyone else gets what they want, regardless of its convenience to ME, that's where I have the problem. Since when am I a lesser being than everyone else? Why is it that everyone else's needs are more important than mine? And why the HELL am I always the "go to" gall? Yes, I'm flexible. No, I don't have a problem compromising and sure, I try to always take everyone else into consideration. That's just natural to me. I guess it's my problem that I expect others to feel that way as well.
I'd always heard that you should treat people the way you want to be treated. So I guess I'll continue on as I have been. Sometimes there are nice rewards for doing so. But, the frustrations just seem to consistently outweigh the rewards. When every crumb of respect is fought for, every instance of decency is hardwon it's just difficult to remember that being kind, remaining considerate of others and treating others as you'd like to be treated isn't a bad thing. Even if it means coming in last.
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Aunt B