I'm alive. Barely.
Oy vey with a cherry on top but I'm exhausted. This has been the longest two weeks of my life. I need a good looooooong nap. And something fruity with an umbrella in it to drink. Preferably with a shirtless hottie serving it to me.
hehehehe
Survived another busy weekend but things haven't slowed down yet. Well, not much yet, anyway. Still have tons to do. Tons of things to worry about. None of which ya'll would find the least bit interesting. I'm even bored with myself so I won't list the litany.
Got to see some family this weekend, though. Spent Friday afternoon with Sis2 and Lyssa. I finished cleaning my former residence and decided to spend some time helping Sis2 out. She broke her ankle last week and needed help with some chores around the house. Goofus isn't good for much when it comes to chores, yanno. I didn't mind it, though. We at lunch, I did laundry, played with Lyssa, we watched a movie. Then when Goofus got home from work he grilled burgers and we had supper. So it was fun.
An aunt from south Miss. came up for the weekend so I saw her Saturday. We worked our booties off, though, so it didn't feel much like a visit. More like one long sweaty day. My aunt and uncles went in together and got my grandparents some wood flooring for their house so we all gathered there while the men folk put the floor down. My aunt grilled burgers for lunch, had birthday cake for Paw-Paw H. He's 77 now. It was fun, despite the heat and sweat and hard work had by all. Yeah, even those of us who didn't help install the floor still had work to do.
My apartment is still a total disaster. I haven't done a whole lot of unpacking because we were still moving things from the house. And I'm in need of more shelf liner in the kitchen cabinets before I unload my dishes. I forgot to get it Saturday morning when I went grocery shopping. I really don't feel like putting it in anyway. I'm so sick of moving. lol
I did spend some time last night unpacking books. But ya'll? I so shoulda paid more attention to how I packed them because I spent more time sorting them back into order than I did actually pulling them out of boxes and shelving them. And I'm still only half-way done. What's fun, though, was while I was sorting them I came across several that now I'm dying to re-read. Some really beloved old favorites. You know the kind. The ones that you can still remember the plot and characters and how it made you feel and why you loved it so much? Yeah. Some of those. There's really only a handful of those, though, to be honest. A lot of the books I've kept I know I must have enjoyed because I kept them but nothing really comes to mind as remarkable about them. Maybe it's THOSE books I need to go back and re-read to remember why I kept them, yanno?
Anyway, I've gotten totally random so I'll stop.
I go this afternoon to return the keys to my former residence. When I spoke to my former landlord yesterday he was very short and clipped with me. I always thought he was nice. Not much of a landlord but a generally nice man. He was always super friendly to me, told me repeatedly how nice I was and how he respected me and blah blah blah. Now that I'm moved out he can't get rid of me fast enough. Did he honestly expect me to live there forever? I'm only 29. I'm sure I'll live in a few places before I croak or get called home to Glory. And even with all the problems the house has, I'm certain he won't have a problem finding someone else to rent it. The rent's cheap enough that someone poor enough will put up with a lot. I did for seven years.
But he and his house are not my burden anymore. I now have a comfortable place to live that I think I will enjoy, now that the shock has worn off and I've lived there for a week. It's nothing fancy, by far, but it's comfy. Big enough to not feel cramped but small enough to not feel overwhelmed. And if I can ever get the eyes of the stove clean, I'll be happy. ;)
An added benefit to the move is that now I have an excuse to walk. Our mailboxes are grouped at the end of the street and since I live at the opposite end it's a decent walk for me and Libs to get our mail and a little exercise all in one. The street's quiet enough that I feel safe and the neighborhood is one that is ideal for walking. I've seen a few neighbors out walking their dogs as well so for once, I feel like I fit in. Out where I used to live, I always felt conspicuous when I tried to walk. Plus, there were all these free range dogs that enjoyed scaring the living daylights out of me. The city has a leash law, though, so free range dogs are at a minimum.
For the first time in a long time, I feel really good about my life and where I'm at in it. I didn't realize just how the stresses of my living situation were affecting every area of my life. And yeah, I was scared to leave it because you know me. I'm a major avoider of change. Change scares me. Putting up with the crap I'm familiar with seemed safer than venturing out and taking a chance on something that was unfamiliar. I was so scared of the change that when it started happening I started planning escape routes. Even went so far as to consider moving back in with my parents, of all things! And, of course, slipped into a somewhat serious bit of depression.
Now that it's all said and done, though, I can see more clearly why I felt the way I did and I feel So. Thankful. that the Father pushed me into doing what He knew I needed to do. Because ya'll? That's exactly what happened. I think I'd have sat in that miserable existence for a whole lot longer had things not happened that pushed me into making the step into moving. Embarrassing as it is to admit, it was the experience with the mice that was the shove I needed to finally dig myself out of my comfort zone and into a serious decision to better my situation. Mice are a phobia of mine. Like serious phobia. I'd always said that if I ever found a mouse in my house that I was moving. I'd only been half serious when I said that but it turned out to be true. And in all honesty, I truly believe the Father knew that and he used those furry critters to get me to do something He'd been trying to get me to do for a long time. Any other trial He'd tossed at me with that house I shrugged off and put up with.
And there was a LOT that I put up with. Miserable things that hindered my quality of life. Made me ashamed of my home. Of myself. I became defensive about it. Stopped allowing people to come over or sleep over because I was ashamed of the state of disrepair my home had fallen into. And I don't know what, besides fear of the unknown, that kept me there. Made me believe that I didn't deserve anything better than what I was settling for. I tease my sisters about being spoiled but honestly, why shouldn't they be? Why shouldn't they ask for--and expect--better for themselves? Why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't ANYONE ask for and expect better for themselves?
Anyway, I've gone off rambling again but since it's Tuesday, I don't care. I just feel really good right now and really thankful. Guess I must have just needed to share that with ya'll. You know, I share all the crappy depressing stuff. Ya'll deserve to hear some happy, right? ;-)
hehehehe
Survived another busy weekend but things haven't slowed down yet. Well, not much yet, anyway. Still have tons to do. Tons of things to worry about. None of which ya'll would find the least bit interesting. I'm even bored with myself so I won't list the litany.
Got to see some family this weekend, though. Spent Friday afternoon with Sis2 and Lyssa. I finished cleaning my former residence and decided to spend some time helping Sis2 out. She broke her ankle last week and needed help with some chores around the house. Goofus isn't good for much when it comes to chores, yanno. I didn't mind it, though. We at lunch, I did laundry, played with Lyssa, we watched a movie. Then when Goofus got home from work he grilled burgers and we had supper. So it was fun.
An aunt from south Miss. came up for the weekend so I saw her Saturday. We worked our booties off, though, so it didn't feel much like a visit. More like one long sweaty day. My aunt and uncles went in together and got my grandparents some wood flooring for their house so we all gathered there while the men folk put the floor down. My aunt grilled burgers for lunch, had birthday cake for Paw-Paw H. He's 77 now. It was fun, despite the heat and sweat and hard work had by all. Yeah, even those of us who didn't help install the floor still had work to do.
My apartment is still a total disaster. I haven't done a whole lot of unpacking because we were still moving things from the house. And I'm in need of more shelf liner in the kitchen cabinets before I unload my dishes. I forgot to get it Saturday morning when I went grocery shopping. I really don't feel like putting it in anyway. I'm so sick of moving. lol
I did spend some time last night unpacking books. But ya'll? I so shoulda paid more attention to how I packed them because I spent more time sorting them back into order than I did actually pulling them out of boxes and shelving them. And I'm still only half-way done. What's fun, though, was while I was sorting them I came across several that now I'm dying to re-read. Some really beloved old favorites. You know the kind. The ones that you can still remember the plot and characters and how it made you feel and why you loved it so much? Yeah. Some of those. There's really only a handful of those, though, to be honest. A lot of the books I've kept I know I must have enjoyed because I kept them but nothing really comes to mind as remarkable about them. Maybe it's THOSE books I need to go back and re-read to remember why I kept them, yanno?
Anyway, I've gotten totally random so I'll stop.
I go this afternoon to return the keys to my former residence. When I spoke to my former landlord yesterday he was very short and clipped with me. I always thought he was nice. Not much of a landlord but a generally nice man. He was always super friendly to me, told me repeatedly how nice I was and how he respected me and blah blah blah. Now that I'm moved out he can't get rid of me fast enough. Did he honestly expect me to live there forever? I'm only 29. I'm sure I'll live in a few places before I croak or get called home to Glory. And even with all the problems the house has, I'm certain he won't have a problem finding someone else to rent it. The rent's cheap enough that someone poor enough will put up with a lot. I did for seven years.
But he and his house are not my burden anymore. I now have a comfortable place to live that I think I will enjoy, now that the shock has worn off and I've lived there for a week. It's nothing fancy, by far, but it's comfy. Big enough to not feel cramped but small enough to not feel overwhelmed. And if I can ever get the eyes of the stove clean, I'll be happy. ;)
An added benefit to the move is that now I have an excuse to walk. Our mailboxes are grouped at the end of the street and since I live at the opposite end it's a decent walk for me and Libs to get our mail and a little exercise all in one. The street's quiet enough that I feel safe and the neighborhood is one that is ideal for walking. I've seen a few neighbors out walking their dogs as well so for once, I feel like I fit in. Out where I used to live, I always felt conspicuous when I tried to walk. Plus, there were all these free range dogs that enjoyed scaring the living daylights out of me. The city has a leash law, though, so free range dogs are at a minimum.
For the first time in a long time, I feel really good about my life and where I'm at in it. I didn't realize just how the stresses of my living situation were affecting every area of my life. And yeah, I was scared to leave it because you know me. I'm a major avoider of change. Change scares me. Putting up with the crap I'm familiar with seemed safer than venturing out and taking a chance on something that was unfamiliar. I was so scared of the change that when it started happening I started planning escape routes. Even went so far as to consider moving back in with my parents, of all things! And, of course, slipped into a somewhat serious bit of depression.
Now that it's all said and done, though, I can see more clearly why I felt the way I did and I feel So. Thankful. that the Father pushed me into doing what He knew I needed to do. Because ya'll? That's exactly what happened. I think I'd have sat in that miserable existence for a whole lot longer had things not happened that pushed me into making the step into moving. Embarrassing as it is to admit, it was the experience with the mice that was the shove I needed to finally dig myself out of my comfort zone and into a serious decision to better my situation. Mice are a phobia of mine. Like serious phobia. I'd always said that if I ever found a mouse in my house that I was moving. I'd only been half serious when I said that but it turned out to be true. And in all honesty, I truly believe the Father knew that and he used those furry critters to get me to do something He'd been trying to get me to do for a long time. Any other trial He'd tossed at me with that house I shrugged off and put up with.
And there was a LOT that I put up with. Miserable things that hindered my quality of life. Made me ashamed of my home. Of myself. I became defensive about it. Stopped allowing people to come over or sleep over because I was ashamed of the state of disrepair my home had fallen into. And I don't know what, besides fear of the unknown, that kept me there. Made me believe that I didn't deserve anything better than what I was settling for. I tease my sisters about being spoiled but honestly, why shouldn't they be? Why shouldn't they ask for--and expect--better for themselves? Why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't ANYONE ask for and expect better for themselves?
Anyway, I've gone off rambling again but since it's Tuesday, I don't care. I just feel really good right now and really thankful. Guess I must have just needed to share that with ya'll. You know, I share all the crappy depressing stuff. Ya'll deserve to hear some happy, right? ;-)
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Aunt B