There Will Be Light
If I didn't believe there'd be light at the end of the tunnel, I might be tempted to just chuck it all.
Actually, everything's going fine with me at the moment. (Thank You, God!) I have nothing to really complain about. It's my parents who are being tried. Having a little Job (as in the book of) test. I feel so badly not being able to fix it for them and yet I know that fixing their problems isn't my job...It's HIS. The Almighty's. And He will, I know. He's done it before for them as well as for me. So I know it's only a matter of time. This dark period is just something they're having to go through to get to the other side.
And yet, it hurts to see them both suffering. Daddy with his continued dental problems (his gums won't heal from the last procedure he had--keeps bleeding) and unemployment. Mama with her car issues (got the transmission fixed and now something else is going out. Don't know what, yet. It's still in the shop.) and worrying over Daddy. Money's so tight that they barely have a penny left to squeal and yet the hits keep coming.
I fear the most for Daddy. He's already not in the best health with heart issues, diabetes, his knees and now a touch of depression. But this gums thing...It scares me. Just last month that friend of mine who died was because of blood poison from an infection due to recent dental work. It scares the you-know-what outta me. And his dentist is at a loss. He's tried everything under the sun to stop the bleeding and yet it's been over a week now and several trips. He's to the point now where he's getting lightheaded--from hunger or blood loss, I don't know. He can't eat solid foods. He's on a totally liquid diet because he can't chew. And that's making him miserable, too, because he stays hungry all the time. And he's there alone at the house all day every day. It just frightens me.
I don't want to think the unthinkable but it could happen. I know it could. It happens to people all the time.
And Sunday...well, Sunday I just wanted to cry for him. Would have if I thought it wouldn't make him angry. His pain is plainly visible on his face, he's pale and he just...well, I flashback to what he looked like four and a half years ago when he had a heart attack and triple bypass surgery. So helpless. And Daddy isn't supposed to be helpless. He's a rock. Tough and totally bad ass.
I never would have imagined what a heartache it would be to grow up and watch your parents grow older and more frail. I've been blessed all my life with relatively healthy parents.
Anyway, sorry for unloading all this here. I just can't unload it anywhere else. Mama's so full of her own worry I won't add to it and the sis's are both busy and have their own fears or worries. Well, Sis2 might be worried about the folks. Sis1 is so wrapped up in her life in AL I doubt she's even bothered to notice anything amiss. *sigh*
Things will get better. I know they will. There's always going to be dark places in life--struggles we must all get through. I've been there enough to know that He always pulls us through. Maybe not on our time table or the way we would do it, but He will do it. We just have to hang in there and believe.
In the meantime, any and all prayers are welcome and greatly appreciated.
Actually, everything's going fine with me at the moment. (Thank You, God!) I have nothing to really complain about. It's my parents who are being tried. Having a little Job (as in the book of) test. I feel so badly not being able to fix it for them and yet I know that fixing their problems isn't my job...It's HIS. The Almighty's. And He will, I know. He's done it before for them as well as for me. So I know it's only a matter of time. This dark period is just something they're having to go through to get to the other side.
And yet, it hurts to see them both suffering. Daddy with his continued dental problems (his gums won't heal from the last procedure he had--keeps bleeding) and unemployment. Mama with her car issues (got the transmission fixed and now something else is going out. Don't know what, yet. It's still in the shop.) and worrying over Daddy. Money's so tight that they barely have a penny left to squeal and yet the hits keep coming.
I fear the most for Daddy. He's already not in the best health with heart issues, diabetes, his knees and now a touch of depression. But this gums thing...It scares me. Just last month that friend of mine who died was because of blood poison from an infection due to recent dental work. It scares the you-know-what outta me. And his dentist is at a loss. He's tried everything under the sun to stop the bleeding and yet it's been over a week now and several trips. He's to the point now where he's getting lightheaded--from hunger or blood loss, I don't know. He can't eat solid foods. He's on a totally liquid diet because he can't chew. And that's making him miserable, too, because he stays hungry all the time. And he's there alone at the house all day every day. It just frightens me.
I don't want to think the unthinkable but it could happen. I know it could. It happens to people all the time.
And Sunday...well, Sunday I just wanted to cry for him. Would have if I thought it wouldn't make him angry. His pain is plainly visible on his face, he's pale and he just...well, I flashback to what he looked like four and a half years ago when he had a heart attack and triple bypass surgery. So helpless. And Daddy isn't supposed to be helpless. He's a rock. Tough and totally bad ass.
I never would have imagined what a heartache it would be to grow up and watch your parents grow older and more frail. I've been blessed all my life with relatively healthy parents.
Anyway, sorry for unloading all this here. I just can't unload it anywhere else. Mama's so full of her own worry I won't add to it and the sis's are both busy and have their own fears or worries. Well, Sis2 might be worried about the folks. Sis1 is so wrapped up in her life in AL I doubt she's even bothered to notice anything amiss. *sigh*
Things will get better. I know they will. There's always going to be dark places in life--struggles we must all get through. I've been there enough to know that He always pulls us through. Maybe not on our time table or the way we would do it, but He will do it. We just have to hang in there and believe.
In the meantime, any and all prayers are welcome and greatly appreciated.
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