I Scorched My Roses
So I'm going to try and stay positive but I'm a little grumpy this morning due to lack of sleep and irritation.
Positive~I've lost another pound without even really trying. And by not really trying, I mean, I ate leftover cheesecake a couple days last week, snacked a bit after supper and didn't work out at all. So that was a Monday morning happy.
Negative~Neighbor tied her dog up out on our front porch and LEFT HIM THERE ALL DAMN DAY Saturday--with no water, mind you--while she was gone. This annoys me for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the issue of potential animal abuse. Supposedly, her "friend" (read: dude who sleeps over sometimes but generally isn't worth crap) was supposed to bring him in after an hour but the "friend" apparently forgot. Because it's easy to forget a dog who's standing outside BARKING HIS HEAD OFF ALL DAMN DAY. I felt sorry for the poor beast and gave him water and untangled him when his lead got tangled up in the daughter's bike.
And then there's the whole issue of the dog even being tied up on our front porch in the first place, as in, ever. For one, it's inconvenient for any guests I'd've had. Not that I had any Saturday, but Sis2 and Lyssa came over Friday afternoon while he was tied out there and they had to fight their way in and out of my door. For another, it's inconvenient to ME because I can't take Libby out the front door to go potty because she HATES the dog and snarls and barks at him. And it's also inconvenient to me because I get mauled coming in or out my own front door. He's a sweet dog but also a jumper and gets under my feet. He tripped me one afternoon but I managed to not fall.
It's as though she believes she and her daughter are the only ones who live there. She has zero consideration for me. Meanwhile, I trip all over myself being considerate. I don't blast my stereo like I want to. I try to keep Libby quiet (usually without much success while Neighbor and Co. are making an unnecessary amount of noise outside). I never knock on their door to borrow or sell stuff. I don't allow my dog or my guests to intrude on their side of the porch or yard or to park on her side of the parking lot. I never, ever forget that I share a wall and outside space with other people. Common decency won't allow it. Maybe I should chuck common decency out the window and become a noisy inconsiderate selfish cow like the neighbor and co.
Sorry, that negative went on a little long. I'm just still really pissed off about it.
Positive~Libby and I went exploring for a couple of hours Saturday morning. We drove down to Sturgis and back, through the countryside and checked out a few decent neighborhoods all in search of finding a new home. I didn't find anything really promising but we had fun just road tripping. I've got my eye on a couple of houses in town that are for sale fairly "cheap" but...
Negative~I'm too chicken to talk to my CU's mortgage department. Partially because I'm afraid I won't get pre-approved for a mortgage and partially because I'm afraid I WILL. And as much as I want to own my own home, the thought of actually DOING it scares the crap outta me.
a) Owning a home is a lot of responsibility. b) I don't have a lot of spare change to play with c) most everyone I know seems to think I'd fail c) owning a home is a lot of responsibility. Oh, but I mentioned that already.
It's just, I'm so sick of dealing with crappy landlords who won't properly maintain their property. Landlords who treat me like a silly stupid woman but collect that hefty rent check every month. At least if I OWNED the property, I couldn't get angry at a landlord. And with the recently passed $8000 tax credit for first time home buyers, I'd have a little cash to save for potential problems. At least that's my theory.
It's just the thought of all those hefty mortgage payments for the next thirty years...I mean, I'm used to living on a shoestring budget. It's been my life for, well, ALL my life. And a mortgage payment is going to be a might bit higher than rent because you've got these annoying little things like insurance, property taxes, private mortgage insurance, etc. to think about and I have no CLUE what all that adds up to.
And I want to live in the country. Or, at least in an area/neighborhood that FEELS like the country. (read: has more than a half inch of space between my home and the next.) I want some PROPERTY. A little slice of acreage where Libby and I can walk, explore and play without annoying neighbors all up in our Kool-Aid. But property is EXPENSIVE. Heck, houses in halfway decent neighborhoods are expensive. I just don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I won't even know what my options really ARE if I don't at least call about getting pre-approved, though, will I? *sigh*
And somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind I have the secret thought that I might yet someday get married. It's a dark thought, one I try not to think about or worry about because, honestly, I'm totally cool most of the time remaining single until I die. But I'm only 30. I'm still young and stranger things have happened. What if I buy a house and then some unsuspecting fella wonders into my life and goes stupid enough to marry me? What then?
By the same token, I refuse to put my life and dreams on hold just in case I turn into a less hideous version of myself and land a man. You know, how stupid is THAT?
Positive~As of April 31st, I will have two less debts to worry about. That's right. It's actually becoming a reality that Mrs. Mastercard and Ms. Visa will be paid in full with this months payments. You have no idea how heady a feeling that is to have that debt gone. Let me tell you, though. It took a lot of grit, determination, patience and scrimping to make it happen. Mrs. Mastercard took nearly THREE YEARS to pay off a $500 debt that I ran up with Libby's vet bills from when she was spayed and then when she broke her foot. I think her puppy shots were on there, too. Yeah, it took me that long to pay off a $500 debt because for at least two of those years, my income was smaller, I had other bigger bills digging into the money, the price of gasoline went through the roof and I was only able to pay $25 a month for most of that time. I paid $50 when I could.
And Ms. Visa was all my Christmas debt. I went almost $400 in the hole with gifts (for myself and others), decorations, wrapping and cards, food and everything. Fortunately, the price of gas has been low enough that I've been able to knock out some fairly huge payments on it and get it paid off rather quickly.
Now I'm working hard towards a "cash only" lifestyle in which I pay cash for everyday life--groceries, tithes, trips to McDonald's for hazelnut cappucianos and chicken biscuits, and any other "not debt" expenses. Once the cash is gone, that's it. I have to wait until next month--if ever!
And let me tell you--it's HARD breaking the credit card charging habit. Way harder than even going without chocolate for a couple of days. For so many years I've lived beyond my means buying stuff I could live without. And you know what? I spent a lot of those years really unhappy. Partially because of the weight of the debt, but also because nothing I bought was ever as wonderful as I hoped it would be.
Now that I'm getting my spending in line I'm also eating healthier (and less--can't buy to eat when there's no money!) and I feel more in control of my life. I'm learning the lesson I should have learned years ago: Things are just stuff. The less stuff I have the less stuff I want. Although, there is this camera I'd kill to be able to afford...
hehehehe
Negative~My best buddy Mrs. B gave me a pot of yellow teacup roses for my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Had a couple of gorgeous blooms and several buds. Well, the little card thing on it said it needed full to partial sunlight. For the first week I sat it on my kitchen table in front of the window. I watered it, admired it and dreamed of the day that my pretty little teacup roses would fill a giant pot. Or maybe, I thought, I'd plant them in the yard of my next home.
Well, in a fit of stupidity one morning, I moved them to the top shelf of the garden window in my kitchen. You know, for full sunlight. Unfortunately, it never occurred to me that all that sunlight poring unobstructed into the window would do more harm than good.
*sigh*
Lovely blooms and buds all got scorched. As in, they were crispy and brown when I got home that night. Color me sad.
So I snipped the dead blooms and buds from the stems and am going to continue to water it, set it outside on warm days and pray it sprouts more buds soon. If it does, I'll re-pot it in a large pretty pot. If not...*sigh* I'll miss them. And I'm NOT telling Mrs. B I killed those lovely yellow roses.
Positive~Emmy's coming this weekend for Easter and is going to stay all next week. Her spring break is next week so she's going to split her time out between me, Mama and Sis2. I'm really hoping I can take a couple of days off work to spend with her, so fingers crossed on that one. And I'd REALLY like to take her to see the Hannah Montana movie, too. I know a lot of parental units can't stand HM but I like it and Emmy does, too. And I, personally, don't see anything inherently bad about it like some folks do. *shrugs* I figure there's a lot worse out there that she could be into. And I like to keep current with what's hip so that at least one adult in her life can share those things with her without judgement or ignorance. You know, so that one day, when she's older and really needs someone to talk to, maybe she'll recall how Aunt Jana was always interested in the things that interested her and always made that extra effort to be involved.
Positive~I've lost another pound without even really trying. And by not really trying, I mean, I ate leftover cheesecake a couple days last week, snacked a bit after supper and didn't work out at all. So that was a Monday morning happy.
Negative~Neighbor tied her dog up out on our front porch and LEFT HIM THERE ALL DAMN DAY Saturday--with no water, mind you--while she was gone. This annoys me for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the issue of potential animal abuse. Supposedly, her "friend" (read: dude who sleeps over sometimes but generally isn't worth crap) was supposed to bring him in after an hour but the "friend" apparently forgot. Because it's easy to forget a dog who's standing outside BARKING HIS HEAD OFF ALL DAMN DAY. I felt sorry for the poor beast and gave him water and untangled him when his lead got tangled up in the daughter's bike.
And then there's the whole issue of the dog even being tied up on our front porch in the first place, as in, ever. For one, it's inconvenient for any guests I'd've had. Not that I had any Saturday, but Sis2 and Lyssa came over Friday afternoon while he was tied out there and they had to fight their way in and out of my door. For another, it's inconvenient to ME because I can't take Libby out the front door to go potty because she HATES the dog and snarls and barks at him. And it's also inconvenient to me because I get mauled coming in or out my own front door. He's a sweet dog but also a jumper and gets under my feet. He tripped me one afternoon but I managed to not fall.
It's as though she believes she and her daughter are the only ones who live there. She has zero consideration for me. Meanwhile, I trip all over myself being considerate. I don't blast my stereo like I want to. I try to keep Libby quiet (usually without much success while Neighbor and Co. are making an unnecessary amount of noise outside). I never knock on their door to borrow or sell stuff. I don't allow my dog or my guests to intrude on their side of the porch or yard or to park on her side of the parking lot. I never, ever forget that I share a wall and outside space with other people. Common decency won't allow it. Maybe I should chuck common decency out the window and become a noisy inconsiderate selfish cow like the neighbor and co.
Sorry, that negative went on a little long. I'm just still really pissed off about it.
Positive~Libby and I went exploring for a couple of hours Saturday morning. We drove down to Sturgis and back, through the countryside and checked out a few decent neighborhoods all in search of finding a new home. I didn't find anything really promising but we had fun just road tripping. I've got my eye on a couple of houses in town that are for sale fairly "cheap" but...
Negative~I'm too chicken to talk to my CU's mortgage department. Partially because I'm afraid I won't get pre-approved for a mortgage and partially because I'm afraid I WILL. And as much as I want to own my own home, the thought of actually DOING it scares the crap outta me.
a) Owning a home is a lot of responsibility. b) I don't have a lot of spare change to play with c) most everyone I know seems to think I'd fail c) owning a home is a lot of responsibility. Oh, but I mentioned that already.
It's just, I'm so sick of dealing with crappy landlords who won't properly maintain their property. Landlords who treat me like a silly stupid woman but collect that hefty rent check every month. At least if I OWNED the property, I couldn't get angry at a landlord. And with the recently passed $8000 tax credit for first time home buyers, I'd have a little cash to save for potential problems. At least that's my theory.
It's just the thought of all those hefty mortgage payments for the next thirty years...I mean, I'm used to living on a shoestring budget. It's been my life for, well, ALL my life. And a mortgage payment is going to be a might bit higher than rent because you've got these annoying little things like insurance, property taxes, private mortgage insurance, etc. to think about and I have no CLUE what all that adds up to.
And I want to live in the country. Or, at least in an area/neighborhood that FEELS like the country. (read: has more than a half inch of space between my home and the next.) I want some PROPERTY. A little slice of acreage where Libby and I can walk, explore and play without annoying neighbors all up in our Kool-Aid. But property is EXPENSIVE. Heck, houses in halfway decent neighborhoods are expensive. I just don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I won't even know what my options really ARE if I don't at least call about getting pre-approved, though, will I? *sigh*
And somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind I have the secret thought that I might yet someday get married. It's a dark thought, one I try not to think about or worry about because, honestly, I'm totally cool most of the time remaining single until I die. But I'm only 30. I'm still young and stranger things have happened. What if I buy a house and then some unsuspecting fella wonders into my life and goes stupid enough to marry me? What then?
By the same token, I refuse to put my life and dreams on hold just in case I turn into a less hideous version of myself and land a man. You know, how stupid is THAT?
Positive~As of April 31st, I will have two less debts to worry about. That's right. It's actually becoming a reality that Mrs. Mastercard and Ms. Visa will be paid in full with this months payments. You have no idea how heady a feeling that is to have that debt gone. Let me tell you, though. It took a lot of grit, determination, patience and scrimping to make it happen. Mrs. Mastercard took nearly THREE YEARS to pay off a $500 debt that I ran up with Libby's vet bills from when she was spayed and then when she broke her foot. I think her puppy shots were on there, too. Yeah, it took me that long to pay off a $500 debt because for at least two of those years, my income was smaller, I had other bigger bills digging into the money, the price of gasoline went through the roof and I was only able to pay $25 a month for most of that time. I paid $50 when I could.
And Ms. Visa was all my Christmas debt. I went almost $400 in the hole with gifts (for myself and others), decorations, wrapping and cards, food and everything. Fortunately, the price of gas has been low enough that I've been able to knock out some fairly huge payments on it and get it paid off rather quickly.
Now I'm working hard towards a "cash only" lifestyle in which I pay cash for everyday life--groceries, tithes, trips to McDonald's for hazelnut cappucianos and chicken biscuits, and any other "not debt" expenses. Once the cash is gone, that's it. I have to wait until next month--if ever!
And let me tell you--it's HARD breaking the credit card charging habit. Way harder than even going without chocolate for a couple of days. For so many years I've lived beyond my means buying stuff I could live without. And you know what? I spent a lot of those years really unhappy. Partially because of the weight of the debt, but also because nothing I bought was ever as wonderful as I hoped it would be.
Now that I'm getting my spending in line I'm also eating healthier (and less--can't buy to eat when there's no money!) and I feel more in control of my life. I'm learning the lesson I should have learned years ago: Things are just stuff. The less stuff I have the less stuff I want. Although, there is this camera I'd kill to be able to afford...
hehehehe
Negative~My best buddy Mrs. B gave me a pot of yellow teacup roses for my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Had a couple of gorgeous blooms and several buds. Well, the little card thing on it said it needed full to partial sunlight. For the first week I sat it on my kitchen table in front of the window. I watered it, admired it and dreamed of the day that my pretty little teacup roses would fill a giant pot. Or maybe, I thought, I'd plant them in the yard of my next home.
Well, in a fit of stupidity one morning, I moved them to the top shelf of the garden window in my kitchen. You know, for full sunlight. Unfortunately, it never occurred to me that all that sunlight poring unobstructed into the window would do more harm than good.
*sigh*
Lovely blooms and buds all got scorched. As in, they were crispy and brown when I got home that night. Color me sad.
So I snipped the dead blooms and buds from the stems and am going to continue to water it, set it outside on warm days and pray it sprouts more buds soon. If it does, I'll re-pot it in a large pretty pot. If not...*sigh* I'll miss them. And I'm NOT telling Mrs. B I killed those lovely yellow roses.
Positive~Emmy's coming this weekend for Easter and is going to stay all next week. Her spring break is next week so she's going to split her time out between me, Mama and Sis2. I'm really hoping I can take a couple of days off work to spend with her, so fingers crossed on that one. And I'd REALLY like to take her to see the Hannah Montana movie, too. I know a lot of parental units can't stand HM but I like it and Emmy does, too. And I, personally, don't see anything inherently bad about it like some folks do. *shrugs* I figure there's a lot worse out there that she could be into. And I like to keep current with what's hip so that at least one adult in her life can share those things with her without judgement or ignorance. You know, so that one day, when she's older and really needs someone to talk to, maybe she'll recall how Aunt Jana was always interested in the things that interested her and always made that extra effort to be involved.
Comments
As for the inconsiderate neighbor...you know I feel for you, being surrounded by a few neighbors who let their dogs bark all day and half the night, with no thought to the people around them. On the bright side...I think The Twit (and incessant barking hound) moved out yesterday. :D
I've been on every bank, realtor, cu site I can think of plugging in numbers. MSN has a great little "how much house can you afford" tool. So I'm cautiously hopeful that I can qualify. The only thing that really concerns me that might affect it is the high balance on my Mastercard. Fingers crossed I work up the courage to call and get the ball rolling today.