Singing Praises To His Name
Okay, so I went to a different mortgage officer this morning and...I GOT PRE-APPROVED. Yeah, apparently I have excellent credit. Who knew? lol
The mortgage officer was super super sweet, kind, helpful and she made it as painless a possible. All the anxiety I felt yesterday is now gone, I feel 99.9% sure that everything is going to go off seamlessly and that by the end of my lease term I will be a home owner, whatever home I decide on.
I can't begin to describe to you how amazing that feels. I can't quite wrap my mind around it. Me, Jana of the Jungle, poor little pathetic spinster daughter is going to be a homeowner. I mean, no, I haven't signed on a house YET, but the very real, very likely possibility is there. It's a dream I've had for at least a half a decade. Something I thought would never become a reality and yet here I am, firmly ensconced in His warm assurance that yes, Jana, there is a future beyond crappy landlords and even crappier rental homes.
And yeah, there is that .1% little niggle of worry that the bottom will fall out of all my plans, hopes and dreams, but I also know that whatever happens from here on out, I did this much. I stepped out of my comfort zone, I believed in His promise and He brought me further than I ever dreamed. He gave me hope. And one thing I knew for certain--He will not let me down. I believe that with all my heart. House or no house, He will always provide exactly what I need when I need it.
I firmly believe that He led me to this particular mortgage broker. He'd been whispering this bank's name in my ear for nearly a week and I just kept thinking, no, I know what I'm doing. This is the right way. And I almost gave up on the whole thing because obviously I DIDN'T know what I was doing. I became anxious and overwhelmed. Panicky. Well, ya'll know my Chicken Little routine well enough by now to know.
But yesterday the urge became stronger and something in me knew that this is it. This is the person who's going to help me. Even from her voicemail, I knew. And the fact that she returned my call the SAME DAY I left a voicemail was an excellent indicator that this is a person who's going to take care of me. She cares about her customers. She wants to see them succeed. And that was the biggest, most beautiful relief I could think of.
And it's scary doing this alone. You know, my sisters and friends all have husbands they went through this process with. Someone to lean on, and to hold their hands. And both sisters will tell you that they don't really know much about the whole process since their husbands took care of most of it. But you know what? It makes me feel incredible to know that at least in this I'm doing something neither of them have ever done. I'm truly and fully standing on my own. (well, you know, not ALL on my own. God's standing with me. *g*) I am capable of taking care of me. I don't need no stinkin' husband to make my dreams come true. I feel strong and independent and for the first time in my life I feel like a grown up. All these years I've felt like I was just playing at adulthood. I never really thought of myself as really being strong. And yet now I feel as though if I can conquer this I can conquer anything.
Yeah, I know I still have a ways to go before this is all said and done. I have to decide if the house I've looked at twice now is THE house and I have to pray about that. And I'm sure there will be a million things to worry about between now and the signing on the dotted line. But today--THIS day--everything is perfect and I'm on cloud 9.
So THANK YOU JESUS! :-)
The mortgage officer was super super sweet, kind, helpful and she made it as painless a possible. All the anxiety I felt yesterday is now gone, I feel 99.9% sure that everything is going to go off seamlessly and that by the end of my lease term I will be a home owner, whatever home I decide on.
I can't begin to describe to you how amazing that feels. I can't quite wrap my mind around it. Me, Jana of the Jungle, poor little pathetic spinster daughter is going to be a homeowner. I mean, no, I haven't signed on a house YET, but the very real, very likely possibility is there. It's a dream I've had for at least a half a decade. Something I thought would never become a reality and yet here I am, firmly ensconced in His warm assurance that yes, Jana, there is a future beyond crappy landlords and even crappier rental homes.
And yeah, there is that .1% little niggle of worry that the bottom will fall out of all my plans, hopes and dreams, but I also know that whatever happens from here on out, I did this much. I stepped out of my comfort zone, I believed in His promise and He brought me further than I ever dreamed. He gave me hope. And one thing I knew for certain--He will not let me down. I believe that with all my heart. House or no house, He will always provide exactly what I need when I need it.
I firmly believe that He led me to this particular mortgage broker. He'd been whispering this bank's name in my ear for nearly a week and I just kept thinking, no, I know what I'm doing. This is the right way. And I almost gave up on the whole thing because obviously I DIDN'T know what I was doing. I became anxious and overwhelmed. Panicky. Well, ya'll know my Chicken Little routine well enough by now to know.
But yesterday the urge became stronger and something in me knew that this is it. This is the person who's going to help me. Even from her voicemail, I knew. And the fact that she returned my call the SAME DAY I left a voicemail was an excellent indicator that this is a person who's going to take care of me. She cares about her customers. She wants to see them succeed. And that was the biggest, most beautiful relief I could think of.
And it's scary doing this alone. You know, my sisters and friends all have husbands they went through this process with. Someone to lean on, and to hold their hands. And both sisters will tell you that they don't really know much about the whole process since their husbands took care of most of it. But you know what? It makes me feel incredible to know that at least in this I'm doing something neither of them have ever done. I'm truly and fully standing on my own. (well, you know, not ALL on my own. God's standing with me. *g*) I am capable of taking care of me. I don't need no stinkin' husband to make my dreams come true. I feel strong and independent and for the first time in my life I feel like a grown up. All these years I've felt like I was just playing at adulthood. I never really thought of myself as really being strong. And yet now I feel as though if I can conquer this I can conquer anything.
Yeah, I know I still have a ways to go before this is all said and done. I have to decide if the house I've looked at twice now is THE house and I have to pray about that. And I'm sure there will be a million things to worry about between now and the signing on the dotted line. But today--THIS day--everything is perfect and I'm on cloud 9.
So THANK YOU JESUS! :-)
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