Of Men and Werewolves

Okay, so admittedly in prior months I've been shallowly drooling over a particularly muscular (and squickily underage) werewolf via Twilight. Yes, the muscles are droolworthy for sure. But I was team Jacob way before I ever saw Taylor Lautner's washboard abs.

I've been thinking lately about the kind of men I'm attracted to. Not that it matters since no one's ever attracted to me but it's just kinda funny to think about what it is that draws me to certain men. Both in real life and in television, movies and books.

Probably the biggest thing I've discovered about myself is that physical features aka looks--while nice-- certainly don't really mean all that much to me. Character does.

Take my obsession with Chuck. Yes, Zachary Levi is (to me) physically attractive. But I hadn't really thought of him in that way until I started watching Chuck. And yeah, I had seen him in other movies/tv shows before. He was on Less Than Perfect (sitcom on ABC, I think, with Sara Rue) several years ago and while I thought him funny, I didn't really find him all that drool-worthy because the character he played was kind of mean/snotty. And in his small role in the movie version of See Jane Date he was cute but a nervous drunk. Not sexy.

But Chuck...Ahhhh, Chuck is sweet. He's sweet and funny and fun. And he has insecurities, self-doubt and considers himself a nerd. But he's also determined and loyal and kind. He has heart. And heart is extremely sexy to me. I'd totally marry a Chuck.

Then there's Grant on Ghost Hunters who isn't fictional so I kinda feel guilty crushing on him because he's married. But Grant is kind and a little on the geeky side but he's smart and funny and seems to really care about what's going on. And he plays piano and composes music. He's sensitive. He lacks arrogance...which is totally hawt. I have no use for arrogant men. Arrogance is the exact extreme opposite of sexy. It's...unsexy.

Sexier still, he seems really into his wife and kids. I know this because I stalkishly follow him (and the other GH cast) on Twitter and I used to follow his MySpace page. And to me, there are few things sexier than a man committed to the people he loves.

These days I've got two new television crushes. Being Human is a show that airs on Syfy and follows a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost who live together and are doing their best to be more human than monster. The two males in the cast are Josh (the werewolf) and Aiden (the vampire). I love them both for entirely different reasons. Both are kinda cute. Okay, really cute, though not in any traditional pretty boy, six pack abs kind of way. But their characters are the real draw.

Josh is tormented by the fact that he was fairly recently turned werewolf. (Not the fluffy Jacob-like werewolf. More like the traditional killing kind.) He's withdrawn himself from everyone he loves and every dream he's ever had in order to protect them from what he's become. He now finds himself in this lonely existence craving human contact but fearing it at the same time. He's socially awkward--unbearably so. But he's kind hearted. He visits with lonely patients at the hospital were he works as an orderly and flirts hilariously and humiliatingly with the ladies. In a nutshell, if it were possible for a fictional character to be my soul mate, he'd be it. He makes me giggly and light headed much the same way Chuck does. Only more! (I know. I'm cheating on Chuck!)

Aiden is a century old vampire who is haunted by his past transgressions since becoming a vampire. He now drinks from bloodbanks instead of humans and resists (and fights) the vampire heirarchy that encourages killing humans and turning new vampires. He's a nurse at a hospital--a compassionate one, at that, and is protective of Josh and Sally (the ghost). Protective to the point of growlingly offering to kill Sally's fiance when she realizes that he actually caused her death. He's achingly beautiful in his struggle to not be the monster he sees himself as being.

And it's these characterizations that make Monday nights so supremely wonderful. (Them and Chuck! On the same night! Woo Hoo!)

Back to Jacob...while reading the book version of Twilight I fell for him because he was so darned sweet to Bella. He was supportive and thoughtful while Edward was suppressive and overprotective. He was fun and he loved her more for who she was as a person. He cared about what happened to her because he cared about her. Not because of any addiction to her scent or how her death might affect him.

I find myself drawn to the same kind of men in real life as well. My first infatuation at the age of ten was with a boy named Charlie. (not to be confused with childhood church crush boy.) He was not in an ideal family situation, he had big dark brown eyes that sometimes looked a little sad and he always, ALWAYS was kind to me though his friends mostly ignored me. He played jump rope with me once--ditching his friends to do so--and I think it was right then that I fell like a led balloon for him and loved him long after he changed schools in the middle of 8th grade. That's the kind of effect he had on me.

And the guy I kinda sorta dated that one time in college was a sweet and sensative guy who walked me to class after we first met and told me that he appreciated my honesty during our self introduction (I had introduced myself as shy) and how he was shy too. We sat together in class nearly every day after that, he walked me to my car after class every day and we went out a couple of times.  Though he, himself, was cool he didn't have much to do with the snotty "cool" kids in our class and instead befriended me and a couple of others who were sort of on the fringes. The uncool.  He became the best friend I ever made in college. He was so easy to talk to and be with. And while I wasn't in love with him, I still miss him ten years later.

My first post college crush was on a student worker I supervised (scandelous!) who stood up to our main supervisor when she (semi-publicly) berated me for something she mistakenly assumed I'd assigned for him to do that she hadn't actually intended him to do. And he also gave me this ridiculously corny and sweet birthday card he made. I still have that card.

I guess the running theme is kindness. I like men who don't feel the need to belittle others (or me) or make more of themselves than they are. They respect others and exhibit vulnerabilty underlined by a quiet strength to perservere. They care more about how others are affected by their actions than themselves and they aren't afraid to go against the norm to do what they feel is right.

The rest of you can have the bad boys if that's your thing. I'll take sweet sexy any day over bad boy sexy.