Uncle Don
You've seen and read the frivolous happenings of my weekend. And now I suppose it's time to divulge the rest of it.
Paw-Paw H's younger brother, Don, passed away sometime Saturday. He was my great uncle, but I didn't know him all that well. For whatever reason, Paw-Paw and his three siblings scattered to the four winds upon adulthood. Maybe because Paw-Paw was a pastor and moved around a lot. I don't know. What I do know, is Uncle Don was the only one who ever came to see Paw-Paw.
I've seen him a handful of times over recent years. His first wife was in poor health so he couldn't get here very often for many years. I recall once when I was around Emmy's age that he, his wife, daughter and grandson came to our house for a short visit on their way to somewhere. And that was the only time I recall having seen him until his wife died a few years ago.
After his wife died, he remarried quickly. He met his current wife (now his widow) while their spouses were in the same nursing home. I suppose they bonded over their terminally ill spouses and once both of them were free, they married. His children disowned him for remarrying so quickly. And while I can understand their hurt and anger, I can't imagine ever disowning one of my parents. Not for the long haul, anyway.
But Aunt G made him happy. She loved him, she encouraged him to visit his family and she always came with him when he did. She was good for him. Or, rather, they were good for each other.
Uncle Don's passing was rather quick, though not entirely unexpected. Back in late June he had surgery to remove some tumors they'd found on his liver (I think) and the tumors were malignant. However, it wasn't until just about a month ago that his doctor informed him that the cancer had spread to pretty much everywhere. They hadn't even had time to begin treatments!
Saturday, Aunt G and Uncle Don were at their home--as far as I know, he was doing okay. Not sickly or bedridden. Obviously he didn't feel good but he seemed okay. But Aunt G said he just suddenly looked upward, his face awash in wonder and told her "Oh G, I see Heaven. It's so beautiful!" Mere seconds later, he was dead.
When my mother relayed this to me it sent shivers up and down my spine. Oh the Glory! He's at peace now, with our Heavenly Father. It so amazing and wonderful to know that he's there and that through him, we all got to see a glimpse of our future.
Mama and her brothers went down to the Delta today for his memorial service. He didn't have a funeral or burial because they couldn't afford one. He'd already decided when he found out about the cancer that he wanted to be cremated and his aches spread over his parent's graves. So Mama and the Uncles went to meet Aunt G and her children at the cemetery over there and one--or all!--of my uncles were going to preach a short sermon for him.
I didn't go because I felt like those who knew him best--those he loved best--should be free to fellowship with each other. I did love him, yes but I hardly knew him. And I'm sure he loved me in some distant "I think she's probably my grand-niece" kind of way but truth be told, I'm not sure he knew my name or which of Paw-Paw's children I belong to. He had 20-something grand-nieces and nephews so I can't hardly blame him for not being able to keep us all straight.
At anyrate, I'm sad for Paw-Paw H to have lost a brother--the only sibling he was still close to. And I'm sad for him that he isn't healthy enough to have gone to the service. But I'm happy for him because he knows he'll see his brother again someday.
And you know what? I'll see him again someday too. And I can't wait to get there, too.
Paw-Paw H's younger brother, Don, passed away sometime Saturday. He was my great uncle, but I didn't know him all that well. For whatever reason, Paw-Paw and his three siblings scattered to the four winds upon adulthood. Maybe because Paw-Paw was a pastor and moved around a lot. I don't know. What I do know, is Uncle Don was the only one who ever came to see Paw-Paw.
I've seen him a handful of times over recent years. His first wife was in poor health so he couldn't get here very often for many years. I recall once when I was around Emmy's age that he, his wife, daughter and grandson came to our house for a short visit on their way to somewhere. And that was the only time I recall having seen him until his wife died a few years ago.
After his wife died, he remarried quickly. He met his current wife (now his widow) while their spouses were in the same nursing home. I suppose they bonded over their terminally ill spouses and once both of them were free, they married. His children disowned him for remarrying so quickly. And while I can understand their hurt and anger, I can't imagine ever disowning one of my parents. Not for the long haul, anyway.
But Aunt G made him happy. She loved him, she encouraged him to visit his family and she always came with him when he did. She was good for him. Or, rather, they were good for each other.
Uncle Don's passing was rather quick, though not entirely unexpected. Back in late June he had surgery to remove some tumors they'd found on his liver (I think) and the tumors were malignant. However, it wasn't until just about a month ago that his doctor informed him that the cancer had spread to pretty much everywhere. They hadn't even had time to begin treatments!
Saturday, Aunt G and Uncle Don were at their home--as far as I know, he was doing okay. Not sickly or bedridden. Obviously he didn't feel good but he seemed okay. But Aunt G said he just suddenly looked upward, his face awash in wonder and told her "Oh G, I see Heaven. It's so beautiful!" Mere seconds later, he was dead.
When my mother relayed this to me it sent shivers up and down my spine. Oh the Glory! He's at peace now, with our Heavenly Father. It so amazing and wonderful to know that he's there and that through him, we all got to see a glimpse of our future.
Mama and her brothers went down to the Delta today for his memorial service. He didn't have a funeral or burial because they couldn't afford one. He'd already decided when he found out about the cancer that he wanted to be cremated and his aches spread over his parent's graves. So Mama and the Uncles went to meet Aunt G and her children at the cemetery over there and one--or all!--of my uncles were going to preach a short sermon for him.
I didn't go because I felt like those who knew him best--those he loved best--should be free to fellowship with each other. I did love him, yes but I hardly knew him. And I'm sure he loved me in some distant "I think she's probably my grand-niece" kind of way but truth be told, I'm not sure he knew my name or which of Paw-Paw's children I belong to. He had 20-something grand-nieces and nephews so I can't hardly blame him for not being able to keep us all straight.
At anyrate, I'm sad for Paw-Paw H to have lost a brother--the only sibling he was still close to. And I'm sad for him that he isn't healthy enough to have gone to the service. But I'm happy for him because he knows he'll see his brother again someday.
And you know what? I'll see him again someday too. And I can't wait to get there, too.
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| Uncle Don and Aunt G, June 2011 |
Comments
It's sad that they disowned him after he remarried. People grieve in different ways and at different paces, and one thing I know from experience is that, when you're the long-term caregiver for a family member suffering a prolonged illness, you've prettymuch gone through the stages of grief before they've even gone.
Hard for some people to understand, I know (ie: baby sister), but I am glad that your uncle and aunt found happiness again after their respective spouses passed.
Unfortunately, his children did NOT attend the service yesterday. I hate it for them because there will come a time when they will wish they had behaved differently.
Word ver: orystur... is that a southern pronunciation?
Hmmm, not quit. Not for me, at least. I pronounce it oy-stir. ;-)