Frustrated
I am super annoyingly frustrated with life right now. Nothing is going right. Sis2 and I have been making all these plans for how to pull off Mama's surprise 60th birthday party and everyone else keeps throwing monkey wrenches into everything. Not to mention the fact that only a precious few have RSVP'd that they're even coming to the party. She's depressed about life stuff (her oldest daughter being a butt, her dad's health issues, work stuff, etc) which really makes it difficult to keep her going off and doing something crazy like making her own plans for next weekend and shutting us out.
Sis1 is being a butt. And a monkey wrench. She decided YESTERDAY that Emmy is coming up here next week for her annual summer vacation. Next week is IMPOSSIBLE for me to take any real time off to spend with her because work is taking over my life. I did manage to get Wednesday off with some begging.
Work is taking over my life. And that's all the complaining I can do about that here.
I'm tired, PMS'd, still struggling with a nagging cough leftover from last week's cold, still not sure how this party stuff is going to work out and annoyed with a lot of the people in my life.
People wonder why I'm such a hermit and can't see that THEY are the reason. Navigating people and their steamrolling selfishness exhausts me. All I ever hear is what other people need. What other people want. And they don't care about anyone else's needs/wants. Certainly they don't care a whit about me. I am just a doormat to wipe their muddy shoes on. A nothing. They aren't considerate of how their decisions/actions/inactions/etc. affect the people around them and then get huffy or reply sharply when anyone pipes up with an idea or a need of their own.
I wish I was independently wealthy so I could just stay at home shut away from the world and everyone in it for the rest of my life. God commands us to love one another and I can do that so much better when I don't have to DEAL WITH anyone.
Sorry for the rantypants post. I swear, I ditch ya'll all week and come back all negative and grumpy. That's not how I want to be here or anywhere. But I don't have anywhere else to take my venting to. No one else bothers to even pretend to care enough to listen. And maybe nobody reading this blog cares or wants to hear it either but at least I don't have to KNOW if nobody reads/cares. ;-)
Sis1 is being a butt. And a monkey wrench. She decided YESTERDAY that Emmy is coming up here next week for her annual summer vacation. Next week is IMPOSSIBLE for me to take any real time off to spend with her because work is taking over my life. I did manage to get Wednesday off with some begging.
Work is taking over my life. And that's all the complaining I can do about that here.
I'm tired, PMS'd, still struggling with a nagging cough leftover from last week's cold, still not sure how this party stuff is going to work out and annoyed with a lot of the people in my life.
People wonder why I'm such a hermit and can't see that THEY are the reason. Navigating people and their steamrolling selfishness exhausts me. All I ever hear is what other people need. What other people want. And they don't care about anyone else's needs/wants. Certainly they don't care a whit about me. I am just a doormat to wipe their muddy shoes on. A nothing. They aren't considerate of how their decisions/actions/inactions/etc. affect the people around them and then get huffy or reply sharply when anyone pipes up with an idea or a need of their own.
I wish I was independently wealthy so I could just stay at home shut away from the world and everyone in it for the rest of my life. God commands us to love one another and I can do that so much better when I don't have to DEAL WITH anyone.
Sorry for the rantypants post. I swear, I ditch ya'll all week and come back all negative and grumpy. That's not how I want to be here or anywhere. But I don't have anywhere else to take my venting to. No one else bothers to even pretend to care enough to listen. And maybe nobody reading this blog cares or wants to hear it either but at least I don't have to KNOW if nobody reads/cares. ;-)
Comments
Heather~The only thing Sis1 ever thinks about is what's good for her. Or her friends. Family is taken for granted and rarely appreciated. A rather harsh view I have of my sister, I know, but there it is. Good thing for her that I still love her. ;-)