And then I died.
Weird dreams in Jana-land lately. Well, one weird/scary nightmarish dream last week wherein I visited and sobbed at the grave of someone I love dearly who isn't dead in real life and whose name I will not mention for fear it will speak the dream into reality. In no way, shape or form do I remotely want this dream/nightmare to really happen. I'd be devastated, to put it mildly.
But this weekend I had some really weird dreams that really absolutely felt REAL, y'all. Yes. REAL in all CAPS. !!! And because I like to document all the weird dreams that I actually remember y'all get to hear all about 'em.
So. The first dream.
I was sitting in church--the church I currently attend--and all these people started showing up who had done me, my family or someone I love (and in some cases, all the above) wrong. The kind of wrong that Christians are notorious for because it involves hypocrisy and the kind of ugly that only Christians can do to each other. These are all real people who really were/have been awful, btw. This isn't just dreamland making stuff up. No, these are real people who'd really behaved badly and they were all showing up to "my" church at once and sitting all around me. They weren't just there to worship, though. They'd brought all their ugliness with them and were being really terribly mean to me. One or two of them physically accosting me and all of them saying mean things to me.
I got so mad that I got up, muttered, "I don't have to put up with this," and stormed out the church doors in a fit of hissy so big my hair almost caught fire. Blew straight past one of the nice old ladies I currently attend church with and was kind of embarrassed that she'd caught me leaving. But storm on, I did, straight to my car. And wouldn't you know it, the thing wouldn't crank. I had left my lights on, but the battery wasn't dead because the clock was still showing time and all the dashboard lights were showing. But crank, it would not. Just an irritating grrr grrr.
So I pulled my key out, bowed my head in prayer and said, "Okay Lord, I get it. You don't want me to leave. Just give me strength to endure."
Then as I was walking back to the church, one of the other church ladies with whom I currently attend church stopped me and asked if I'd checked to see if anyone had brought any potato salad or corn casserole.
Ack! I'd forgotten that we were having a church social and as the newly elected social hostess I was supposed to be in the fellowship hall directing food placement and prep. I told the lady I was on my way to check right then and suddenly I was in the fellowship hall standing at the table in a panic because NO ONE had brought potato salad or corn casserole but several people had brought dressing and it wasn't even Thanksgiving!! Mrs. L was going to be so mad! And Emmy was suddenly there and she was making fun of the dressing that someone had brought because it was the consistency of putty and she demonstrated this by spooning out a handful and played with it. I was so upset by this that I woke up.
THANK THE LORD. hahaha
Next dream, same night was less wordy but a lot more scary.
I was at work, in my cubical going through all the junk that has accumulated on my desk. I was joking and laughing with coworkers while I worked until I heard someone ask the student workers where I was. I stopped what I was doing, looked up expectantly, thinking it was another department's student worker bringing me something. Except it wasn't. It was a man I don't know and he had a cleaver in his hand and all I could really see next was the cleaver swing towards my throat before everything went dark and completely silent. I thought, I'm dead. This is what death is like. Dark and silent. I thanked God that I hadn't felt the violence of my death and I waited to ascend to Heaven. Except instead, there were a couple seconds of static--the kind you hear when a station goes out on the television--and then I could hear the fans running in my room and realized I wasn't dead. I was still lying in bed, three fans pointed at me, curled up on my right side.
Maybe I had been dead for a second, though. It felt that real. The scenario was so true to life in the sense that the things I was working on are things that are actually at my desk right now. The conversation I was having with my coworkers was similar to what we usually carry on about. And it's not unusual for someone to come back to our cubes looking for one of us. When I heard the sound of the fans running and realized that not only was I alive but I had been dreaming, I was actually thoroughly surprised!
Weird.
But this weekend I had some really weird dreams that really absolutely felt REAL, y'all. Yes. REAL in all CAPS. !!! And because I like to document all the weird dreams that I actually remember y'all get to hear all about 'em.
So. The first dream.
I was sitting in church--the church I currently attend--and all these people started showing up who had done me, my family or someone I love (and in some cases, all the above) wrong. The kind of wrong that Christians are notorious for because it involves hypocrisy and the kind of ugly that only Christians can do to each other. These are all real people who really were/have been awful, btw. This isn't just dreamland making stuff up. No, these are real people who'd really behaved badly and they were all showing up to "my" church at once and sitting all around me. They weren't just there to worship, though. They'd brought all their ugliness with them and were being really terribly mean to me. One or two of them physically accosting me and all of them saying mean things to me.
I got so mad that I got up, muttered, "I don't have to put up with this," and stormed out the church doors in a fit of hissy so big my hair almost caught fire. Blew straight past one of the nice old ladies I currently attend church with and was kind of embarrassed that she'd caught me leaving. But storm on, I did, straight to my car. And wouldn't you know it, the thing wouldn't crank. I had left my lights on, but the battery wasn't dead because the clock was still showing time and all the dashboard lights were showing. But crank, it would not. Just an irritating grrr grrr.
So I pulled my key out, bowed my head in prayer and said, "Okay Lord, I get it. You don't want me to leave. Just give me strength to endure."
Then as I was walking back to the church, one of the other church ladies with whom I currently attend church stopped me and asked if I'd checked to see if anyone had brought any potato salad or corn casserole.
Ack! I'd forgotten that we were having a church social and as the newly elected social hostess I was supposed to be in the fellowship hall directing food placement and prep. I told the lady I was on my way to check right then and suddenly I was in the fellowship hall standing at the table in a panic because NO ONE had brought potato salad or corn casserole but several people had brought dressing and it wasn't even Thanksgiving!! Mrs. L was going to be so mad! And Emmy was suddenly there and she was making fun of the dressing that someone had brought because it was the consistency of putty and she demonstrated this by spooning out a handful and played with it. I was so upset by this that I woke up.
THANK THE LORD. hahaha
Next dream, same night was less wordy but a lot more scary.
I was at work, in my cubical going through all the junk that has accumulated on my desk. I was joking and laughing with coworkers while I worked until I heard someone ask the student workers where I was. I stopped what I was doing, looked up expectantly, thinking it was another department's student worker bringing me something. Except it wasn't. It was a man I don't know and he had a cleaver in his hand and all I could really see next was the cleaver swing towards my throat before everything went dark and completely silent. I thought, I'm dead. This is what death is like. Dark and silent. I thanked God that I hadn't felt the violence of my death and I waited to ascend to Heaven. Except instead, there were a couple seconds of static--the kind you hear when a station goes out on the television--and then I could hear the fans running in my room and realized I wasn't dead. I was still lying in bed, three fans pointed at me, curled up on my right side.
Maybe I had been dead for a second, though. It felt that real. The scenario was so true to life in the sense that the things I was working on are things that are actually at my desk right now. The conversation I was having with my coworkers was similar to what we usually carry on about. And it's not unusual for someone to come back to our cubes looking for one of us. When I heard the sound of the fans running and realized that not only was I alive but I had been dreaming, I was actually thoroughly surprised!
Weird.
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