Getting Real...Or Not
So I feel like I've been absent a lot lately. Not that any/many people notice since I don't have a huge following. But if my stats are to be believed I do have a few lurkers every now and then.
Hi Lurkers! I love you! Come talk to me. I don't bite. Much. ;-)
I love you, too, Trix! And Aunt B! My two regular/semi-regular commenters/friends.
Honestly, my heart just isn't in blogging right now. So much of what's going on in my life is work related crap--AKA--Things I can't talk about on the web. Because I NEED this job. Right? Right. And I know I've skirted around talking about work related things here but I need to shut that kind of talk down. No matter how well I think this here blog is protected from people I know in real life, we all know that nothing is safe on the internet.
That being said, I started this blog to document my life, my feelings, and often times my silliness. I love that it's a great record of the past 9ish years. I can go back into my archives and watch Emmy grow up. I can see Alyssa and Ethan born. I can re-experience the joy and terror of adopting the Devil Pup. And the comments--I used to have a number of friends who commented regularly but who, for whatever reason, drifted away outside of FB. One, at least, has gone on to be with Jesus but she lives on here in the comments. Encouraging me. Supporting me. Lifting me up the way she always did back when we were close.
However, with the craziness that is my work life consuming my personal life/joys, so much of what made this a happy place to come to isn't possible right now. And I feel like a broken record posting Libby pics/captions, talking about how stressed I am and honestly, I realize nobody wants to hear about my depression all the time. Collective eye rolls, I see them.
I'm not saying I'm quitting blogging. I'm just asking--lurkers and friends, be patient with me. I hate that I don't post every day even if ya'll don't care. I care. And because I love you, I don't want to be one of those flaky bloggers who just up and quits. Or posts less and less until they stop. I WANT to leave this record here. It's always been the only place I could openly speak about my depression. Or the crazy things that sometimes happen to me. Or my thoughts on love. And even if nobody reads it or cares or "gets" it, I once loved blogging. I put all my angst and thought into it. And if reading me navigate this crazy, awesome, terrible, insane, amazing life helps even just one person recognize that the are not alone in something they're experiencing/feeling, I feel like putting it all out there matters.
Someday soon, I really hope I can get back on track with life, blogging and being me. I haven't felt like me in sooooooo long, I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore. Until then, my friends, enjoy the occasional Libby pics and drivel. *sloppy smooches*
Hi Lurkers! I love you! Come talk to me. I don't bite. Much. ;-)
I love you, too, Trix! And Aunt B! My two regular/semi-regular commenters/friends.
Honestly, my heart just isn't in blogging right now. So much of what's going on in my life is work related crap--AKA--Things I can't talk about on the web. Because I NEED this job. Right? Right. And I know I've skirted around talking about work related things here but I need to shut that kind of talk down. No matter how well I think this here blog is protected from people I know in real life, we all know that nothing is safe on the internet.
That being said, I started this blog to document my life, my feelings, and often times my silliness. I love that it's a great record of the past 9ish years. I can go back into my archives and watch Emmy grow up. I can see Alyssa and Ethan born. I can re-experience the joy and terror of adopting the Devil Pup. And the comments--I used to have a number of friends who commented regularly but who, for whatever reason, drifted away outside of FB. One, at least, has gone on to be with Jesus but she lives on here in the comments. Encouraging me. Supporting me. Lifting me up the way she always did back when we were close.
However, with the craziness that is my work life consuming my personal life/joys, so much of what made this a happy place to come to isn't possible right now. And I feel like a broken record posting Libby pics/captions, talking about how stressed I am and honestly, I realize nobody wants to hear about my depression all the time. Collective eye rolls, I see them.
I'm not saying I'm quitting blogging. I'm just asking--lurkers and friends, be patient with me. I hate that I don't post every day even if ya'll don't care. I care. And because I love you, I don't want to be one of those flaky bloggers who just up and quits. Or posts less and less until they stop. I WANT to leave this record here. It's always been the only place I could openly speak about my depression. Or the crazy things that sometimes happen to me. Or my thoughts on love. And even if nobody reads it or cares or "gets" it, I once loved blogging. I put all my angst and thought into it. And if reading me navigate this crazy, awesome, terrible, insane, amazing life helps even just one person recognize that the are not alone in something they're experiencing/feeling, I feel like putting it all out there matters.
Someday soon, I really hope I can get back on track with life, blogging and being me. I haven't felt like me in sooooooo long, I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore. Until then, my friends, enjoy the occasional Libby pics and drivel. *sloppy smooches*
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