A Little Then and Now

circa 1988

 

When I was a young girl--around eight or nine--he came to be the pastor at our church. At just twenty-four, ours was the first church he'd ever pastored at a time when he wasn't even sure he wanted to BE a pastor. He gave it a shot, though, and unbeknown to him, became a driving force in my young life.

 

Truth be told, my younger self had a bit of a crush on him. He was fun and funny and handsome in a way I hadn't yet discovered men could be handsome. Unlike the boys in the youth group, he didn't take himself too seriously. He didn't try to be cool. He was just a fun guy who was navigating his life in the direction he felt the Lord moving him in. That was unbelievably cool.

 

He was, of course, married, as most handsome and fun men in their early-to-mid twenties were back then. His wife was a shy, sweet woman who played the piano and sang. I was rather fond of her, as well. I wasn't a terribly popular young girl, even among church folk. I was too shy and too self-conscious to let my guard down. They were different, though. They just saw a quiet young girl who needed cheering up and attention.

 

You see, they came into our lives at a time when this young girl desperately needed a friend. Sis2 was going through yet another surgery to repair her legs from a freakish bush hog accident four years prior and Mama and Daddy weren't around a lot. They spent a great deal of my early childhood in and out of hospitals but even when they were home, they were focused on Sis2 and Sis1, when she acted out to get attention.

 

I remember quite clearly one Sunday in particular. Sis1 and I had stayed with our grandparents (PawPaw Hill and is wife) the night before so that they could take us to church with them. Mama and Daddy had spent the night at the hospital but wanted to make sure we got to church. I don't really remember WHY we ended up with the pastor and his wife but somehow after church they ended up taking us home with them. They fixed us lunch and we played Uno and Skipbo and then later he took us over to the hospital to visit with Sis2.

 

It was so exciting to get to go home with the pastor and his wife. I'd never been to ANY pastor's house before (and haven't since then, to be honest) and I felt unbelievably privileged and special. None of the other kids got to go home with them. All the kids who looked down on me, thought me weird and generally ignored me--they never got invited to the pastor's house. (Not that I know of, anyway!)

 

There were a million other things that he did--telling funny stories, playing a vampire in the church's haunted house, going on hayrides with us--to cement him in my heart as one of my most treasured friends. To say that I was crushed when he left for another church would be putting it mildly. The day he resigned from the church was the first time I'd ever cried at the loss of a pastor. All I knew was that I was losing my friend.

 

I've seen him a couple of times since then; once when I was twelve and again when I was twenty-seven but he was always mobbed by other people then. Mobbed enough that I didn't have the opportunity to really talk to him. I just saw him briefly--enough to exchange brief hugs and hellos. Maybe a "how have you been?" But really nothing to write home about.

 

Yesterday, though...Yesterday he returned to preach the homecoming at my childhood church. I hadn't held out much hope that I'd get to really speak with him this time, either, but I went anyway. I hurried into the church, about three minutes late and wouldn't you know, there he was--seated on a pew alone behind where my step-grandmother and his wife were seated. I quickly scooted into that pew and hugged my step-grandmother, awkwardly wondering if he'd really recognize me or care that I was there. I mean, we're friends on facebook but I've learned the hard way that that doesn't mean much in real life.

 

I needn't have worried, though. He got up and came to me for a hug. I think he may have meant to only do the one armed side hug but I just full on straight up hugged him like the long lost friend he's been all these years. He teased me that if I couldn't get there on time to just get there when I could and I laughed and the ice was broken.

 

I'm not going to say that we fell into an easy friendship but he and his wife did sit at the table with us at the lunch after church and they engaged me in conversation. Nothing too deep, more like the getting caught up with an old friend kind and reminiscing about silly things we did way back then. The photo below was his idea--to make my sisters jealous that they hadn't come to see him.

 

Just like when I was a kid, I felt special. Singled out by the fun, funny and handsome pastor. I've been on cloud 9 ever since.

2015

 

Never underestimate the effect you can have on a child, however brief your time with them. He was my pastor for only about two years but I will carry him and his friendship in my heart forever.