Real Life
One funny thing about what I'm doing to improve my quality of life is, I haven't told a SOUL in my family or small circle of face to face friends about any of it. Obviously, they've noticed the salads at lunch and I've taken a mild teasing about it but I haven't mentioned any of it to my family. Partly because I know they never take anything I say seriously, and partly because if I fail, they never have to know. And also, when I do indulge in lattes or Boston Cream Honeybuns, I don't have to hear a lecture or have them ask, "I thought you were on a diet." Because I don't need that negativity in my life. Likewise, I haven't mentioned my detox from FB or my goal to decrease daily use of it overall. Just don't need the hassle. And I CERTAINLY do not under any circumstances discuss my mental health because the jokes and/or the competition starts and y'all...that is just not on my list of things I want to put up with.
Y'all who read here know me well enough that the odds of me not faltering in this path of joy is slim. You've read all the other times I've started a new journey to health. You've been with me through years of depression. You've heard all the sob stories, all the excuses, all the let downs and disppointments. You've stuck with me through all my failed hopes of a new attitude and you've loved me anyway. I've never endured an "I told you so" or a "I thought you were ___" You might have thought it. You might be thinking it now, but you've never said it to me. So thanks for being my safe space and for being such a source of encouragement for me in all the different paths I've taken and goals I've set over the years.
Speaking of goals, I was recently thinking about the goals I set for myself last year. I think they were mini-goals. Something about less television, more prayer and more reading? Well, in looking back over 2016, as I discovered podcasts my television viewing time slimmed down considerably. I no longer watch TV before work and I don't turn the TV on in the evenings until around 6:00 or sometimes 7:00. I either listen to a podcast or listen to KLove on the radio. I spend more time in the kitchen and more time loving on my fluffy devil pup. So we can put a check by that goal on the list.
The more prayer...well, I started out 2016 with setting aside thirty minutes a day for prayer and bible study. I think that lasted about three or four months before it just became too regimented. At first it gave me the spiritual boost I needed and then it felt more and more like a chore. I gradually quit that "set aside" time. Now my prayer and Bible study is more of a free form. I pray when my heart needs that connection to Him and I study my bible when my heart needs a little spiritual snack. It's probably not at ALL they way most Christians worship but I don't really like most of the Christians I know so I don't necessarily want to be like them anyway.
And reading? I take it by spurts. I did a bit of reading over Christmas break and LOVED it but as soon as I got thrust back into work mode, all desire to pick up a book fled. I'm not sure what the correlation is between reading and work but there's something up with that. I need to put some thought into that because I just don't feel like me when I'm not immersed in a good book. But I'm not going to keep that as a goal this year.
I don't really have any hard and fast goals this year. Just to keep doing what I'm doing and improving on it. Stay away from negativity. Drink lattes when I need to. Hug more. Cry less. Stay outta the dark places in my head. I mean, there are things I wish I could do. Of course there are. I'd like to start writing more, for one. But saying I will and then not doing it just seems like one more thing to make me feel like a failure. And I don't need those negative feelings. So I'm taking it easy on myself and just focusing on keeping my mental and physical health in shape. Writing when the mood strikes me.
Speaking of physical health...I go in for my yearly bloodwork check-up tomorrow. I hate having blood drawn, but more than that I know he's probably going to want to put me back on a cholesterol medication. I took Lipitor for about a year and gained 20lbs and became pre-diabetic so I took myself off of it and lost 15lbs and brought my A1C down to a safe and healthy range again. So I'm not going down the Lipitor path again even though the doctor SWEARS it had nothing to do with the weight gain and rise in my A1C. I know my body and I know I did not feel good while on Lipitor so the doctor can suck it. I've been taking fish oil and a multivitamin for the past year and eating mostly vegetables off and on for a while. There was a period of about three months last fall when I got on a bacon kick, though, so I hope that didn't mess me up. But even without that, I'm aware enough to know that fish oil and high veggie diet can't cure my genetics. Eventually I'm going to HAVE to go on a cholesterol medication. I just dread it though because having that experience with Lipitor makes me so scared. I mean, sure, it may bring my cholesterol down but what ugly stuff will it do to my body?
Anyhoodles, this long and winding post is over and I'm out. Off to go scan some book for inventory.
Y'all who read here know me well enough that the odds of me not faltering in this path of joy is slim. You've read all the other times I've started a new journey to health. You've been with me through years of depression. You've heard all the sob stories, all the excuses, all the let downs and disppointments. You've stuck with me through all my failed hopes of a new attitude and you've loved me anyway. I've never endured an "I told you so" or a "I thought you were ___" You might have thought it. You might be thinking it now, but you've never said it to me. So thanks for being my safe space and for being such a source of encouragement for me in all the different paths I've taken and goals I've set over the years.
Speaking of goals, I was recently thinking about the goals I set for myself last year. I think they were mini-goals. Something about less television, more prayer and more reading? Well, in looking back over 2016, as I discovered podcasts my television viewing time slimmed down considerably. I no longer watch TV before work and I don't turn the TV on in the evenings until around 6:00 or sometimes 7:00. I either listen to a podcast or listen to KLove on the radio. I spend more time in the kitchen and more time loving on my fluffy devil pup. So we can put a check by that goal on the list.
The more prayer...well, I started out 2016 with setting aside thirty minutes a day for prayer and bible study. I think that lasted about three or four months before it just became too regimented. At first it gave me the spiritual boost I needed and then it felt more and more like a chore. I gradually quit that "set aside" time. Now my prayer and Bible study is more of a free form. I pray when my heart needs that connection to Him and I study my bible when my heart needs a little spiritual snack. It's probably not at ALL they way most Christians worship but I don't really like most of the Christians I know so I don't necessarily want to be like them anyway.
And reading? I take it by spurts. I did a bit of reading over Christmas break and LOVED it but as soon as I got thrust back into work mode, all desire to pick up a book fled. I'm not sure what the correlation is between reading and work but there's something up with that. I need to put some thought into that because I just don't feel like me when I'm not immersed in a good book. But I'm not going to keep that as a goal this year.
I don't really have any hard and fast goals this year. Just to keep doing what I'm doing and improving on it. Stay away from negativity. Drink lattes when I need to. Hug more. Cry less. Stay outta the dark places in my head. I mean, there are things I wish I could do. Of course there are. I'd like to start writing more, for one. But saying I will and then not doing it just seems like one more thing to make me feel like a failure. And I don't need those negative feelings. So I'm taking it easy on myself and just focusing on keeping my mental and physical health in shape. Writing when the mood strikes me.
Speaking of physical health...I go in for my yearly bloodwork check-up tomorrow. I hate having blood drawn, but more than that I know he's probably going to want to put me back on a cholesterol medication. I took Lipitor for about a year and gained 20lbs and became pre-diabetic so I took myself off of it and lost 15lbs and brought my A1C down to a safe and healthy range again. So I'm not going down the Lipitor path again even though the doctor SWEARS it had nothing to do with the weight gain and rise in my A1C. I know my body and I know I did not feel good while on Lipitor so the doctor can suck it. I've been taking fish oil and a multivitamin for the past year and eating mostly vegetables off and on for a while. There was a period of about three months last fall when I got on a bacon kick, though, so I hope that didn't mess me up. But even without that, I'm aware enough to know that fish oil and high veggie diet can't cure my genetics. Eventually I'm going to HAVE to go on a cholesterol medication. I just dread it though because having that experience with Lipitor makes me so scared. I mean, sure, it may bring my cholesterol down but what ugly stuff will it do to my body?
Anyhoodles, this long and winding post is over and I'm out. Off to go scan some book for inventory.
Comments
Anyway, thanks, Aunt B for being such a great source of encouragement. <3