Yucky Feelings Day--In where I express my Meh-ness for today.
I'm not having a great day. There's nothing inherently wrong with today. No one's been on me to do anything. No one's been rude. My hair looks mostly okay. My lunch was decent. I've had plenty of coffee. My boss has been pleasant. I've avoided any negative conversations. I even feel a little extra room in my pants today. For whatever reason, though, today is just one of those days where I am just not enjoying life.
It's hard to describe what I feel like to day. I don't feel bad, per se. I just don't feel good. I don't feel unhappy, I just don't feel happy. I don't feel tired, I just don't feel awake. I don't feel depressed, I just don't feel not depressed. Everything just feels meh.
To compliment all this meh-ness, everything and everyone, no matter how pleasant or playful or thoughtful has just gotten on my nerves. For instance, the other supervisor from my department came into the lounge at lunch while I was in there and the way she smacks while she eats, her conversation, her laugh...all of it just made me grit my teeth. Kinda hard to grit my teeth and eat. But are any of those traits uncharacteristic of her? No. Another example, a woman who works in my mom's office breezed into the lounge with her nasally too country to be real voice and yelled, "Y'all are awfully quiet in here" and I would have been happy to rip her head off. Does she not normally speak nasally and too country to be believed? No. That's how she always sounds. Come to think of it, though, her voice annoys the crap outta me every time I hear her but it's her ugly character that normally drives me to want to rip her head off. (She's a mean spirited gossiper who has gossiped nastily to me about my own cousin who happens to be married to her cousin. So no, I'm not her biggest fan on my best days.)
I just want to go home, take off my pants because I hate pants, sit in the dark, and stare at the wall. I don't want to do people or life today. I just want to do hermit things today.
It's hard to describe what I feel like to day. I don't feel bad, per se. I just don't feel good. I don't feel unhappy, I just don't feel happy. I don't feel tired, I just don't feel awake. I don't feel depressed, I just don't feel not depressed. Everything just feels meh.
To compliment all this meh-ness, everything and everyone, no matter how pleasant or playful or thoughtful has just gotten on my nerves. For instance, the other supervisor from my department came into the lounge at lunch while I was in there and the way she smacks while she eats, her conversation, her laugh...all of it just made me grit my teeth. Kinda hard to grit my teeth and eat. But are any of those traits uncharacteristic of her? No. Another example, a woman who works in my mom's office breezed into the lounge with her nasally too country to be real voice and yelled, "Y'all are awfully quiet in here" and I would have been happy to rip her head off. Does she not normally speak nasally and too country to be believed? No. That's how she always sounds. Come to think of it, though, her voice annoys the crap outta me every time I hear her but it's her ugly character that normally drives me to want to rip her head off. (She's a mean spirited gossiper who has gossiped nastily to me about my own cousin who happens to be married to her cousin. So no, I'm not her biggest fan on my best days.)
I just want to go home, take off my pants because I hate pants, sit in the dark, and stare at the wall. I don't want to do people or life today. I just want to do hermit things today.
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