Aggrevated
I know I rant a lot. Head's up: That's not gonna change.
Current rant:
Okay, so why is it that nearly everything I do gets snide commentary from folks around me? I mean, I know I see the same people every day and maybe we get used to seeing/experiencing certain things from each other but must everyone comment on EVERYTHING I do?
I can't wear lipstick, or change my hair, try make-up, or wear an off the shoulder blouse to my cousin's wedding, or even fill my glass from the new water bottle filling station in the library without someone making a big deal out of it.
I mean, I can understand the changing the hair thing if the commentary was like, "Oh, I like your hair like that!" Or the off the shoulder blouse thing if the commentary was to say that it looked nice on me. But NO. The commentary is always with a hint of snideness or teasing like, "Look at you, changing your hair." "An off the shoulder blouse?" asked as said blouse is nearly yanked down past my boobs by a cousin's wife.
The library installed some new filtered water bottle filling stations around the building last month and one of them is right outside my office door where the water fountain has been for a few decades. The same water fountain I have filled my glass from for YEARS. Even before the whole prediabetes thing, I've been a big proponent of drinking water at meals and all through the day. I don't have a fancy water bottle but I keep a 20oz plastic cup at my desk that I refill multiple times a day. So imagine my delight in the installation of the filtered water filling station! It's motion censored! I don't have to tilt my glass to fill it! I can actually fill the whole glass instead of 3/4 of it! And hey, fresh, clean water, right at the back door! Score!
They are there for us to use. It was a big initiative across campus to promote reusable water vessels instead of plastic bottles and drinking water instead of sugary beverages. All things that are good for the environment and my body!
So imagine my annoyance when a co-worker came out of the restroom that's directly across the hall from it, saw me filling my cup and laughed, "Look at you, using that thing." Complete with an eyeroll, y'all. Like somehow it's not cool for me to use it or I'm stupid for using it. I don't know, but it felt like a dig. I just looked at her and said, "What? I used the water fountain before so now I'm using this." Because I am DAMN TIRED of having to explain myself while I'm just out here minding my own damn business, living my life. And what's wrong with using the water filling station, anyway? Or is it just because it's ME using it?
Like with wearing lipstick or any other sort of make-up beyond my usual eye make-up. "Oh, look at you wearing lipstick!" "Somebody's got on make-up today!" said with laughter. Like it's ridiculous that I'm wearing either. Like I'm not allowed to ever be different or do different things or try anything.
And half the time, it's not even anything new, it's just something about me that THEY'VE never seen before. I have worn lipstick to church almost every Sunday for years.
Oh! Oh! And the whole eating thing! Ever since I started figuring out this lifestyle change and trying to overhaul my eating habits into something resembling healthier choices, I have had this one friend who calls me out and makes fun of every healthier decision I make. And she knows full well why I'm trying to eat healthier but instead of being supportive or, I don't know, just not commenting on what I'm eating or not eating, she says, "Look at you trying to be all healthy." or "Look at you being good. I'm being bad." And I NEVER say anything about what she's eating. I might wish I could eat what she's eating but I never say anything. But oh, then today she went over to Panda by herself--she invited me but I cried broke, which ain't a lie--and when she got back she told me all about the mushroom chicken she got and how it's much healthier and how she's got to start eating better. I just smiled and nodded. I'm not the food police! Eat whatever you want and by damn, let ME eat however I want!
Ugh! It's just so aggravating! For one thing, unless someone has drastically changed their appearance, I rarely ever even notice, much less comment. I especially rarely comment on someone's everyday, living their life behavior. Like the water fountain/bottle filling station. I've seen multiple other staff using various stations throughout the library and other than maybe one comment along the lines of, "Aren't those things great!" it has never occurred to me to give anyone grief about using it because why is that something that deserves grief? I rarely even call people out on the bullshit I do notice! So why, then, do I get called out for absolutely everything?
I don't normally like to cuss (despite the words littered in this post) and the following cuss word isn't one I'd ever use in conversation but in the spirit of full disclosure, I'd really like to tell people to just fuck the hell off!
I swear, I think I'm just so over dealing with other people.
Current rant:
Okay, so why is it that nearly everything I do gets snide commentary from folks around me? I mean, I know I see the same people every day and maybe we get used to seeing/experiencing certain things from each other but must everyone comment on EVERYTHING I do?
I can't wear lipstick, or change my hair, try make-up, or wear an off the shoulder blouse to my cousin's wedding, or even fill my glass from the new water bottle filling station in the library without someone making a big deal out of it.
I mean, I can understand the changing the hair thing if the commentary was like, "Oh, I like your hair like that!" Or the off the shoulder blouse thing if the commentary was to say that it looked nice on me. But NO. The commentary is always with a hint of snideness or teasing like, "Look at you, changing your hair." "An off the shoulder blouse?" asked as said blouse is nearly yanked down past my boobs by a cousin's wife.
The library installed some new filtered water bottle filling stations around the building last month and one of them is right outside my office door where the water fountain has been for a few decades. The same water fountain I have filled my glass from for YEARS. Even before the whole prediabetes thing, I've been a big proponent of drinking water at meals and all through the day. I don't have a fancy water bottle but I keep a 20oz plastic cup at my desk that I refill multiple times a day. So imagine my delight in the installation of the filtered water filling station! It's motion censored! I don't have to tilt my glass to fill it! I can actually fill the whole glass instead of 3/4 of it! And hey, fresh, clean water, right at the back door! Score!
They are there for us to use. It was a big initiative across campus to promote reusable water vessels instead of plastic bottles and drinking water instead of sugary beverages. All things that are good for the environment and my body!
So imagine my annoyance when a co-worker came out of the restroom that's directly across the hall from it, saw me filling my cup and laughed, "Look at you, using that thing." Complete with an eyeroll, y'all. Like somehow it's not cool for me to use it or I'm stupid for using it. I don't know, but it felt like a dig. I just looked at her and said, "What? I used the water fountain before so now I'm using this." Because I am DAMN TIRED of having to explain myself while I'm just out here minding my own damn business, living my life. And what's wrong with using the water filling station, anyway? Or is it just because it's ME using it?
Like with wearing lipstick or any other sort of make-up beyond my usual eye make-up. "Oh, look at you wearing lipstick!" "Somebody's got on make-up today!" said with laughter. Like it's ridiculous that I'm wearing either. Like I'm not allowed to ever be different or do different things or try anything.
And half the time, it's not even anything new, it's just something about me that THEY'VE never seen before. I have worn lipstick to church almost every Sunday for years.
Oh! Oh! And the whole eating thing! Ever since I started figuring out this lifestyle change and trying to overhaul my eating habits into something resembling healthier choices, I have had this one friend who calls me out and makes fun of every healthier decision I make. And she knows full well why I'm trying to eat healthier but instead of being supportive or, I don't know, just not commenting on what I'm eating or not eating, she says, "Look at you trying to be all healthy." or "Look at you being good. I'm being bad." And I NEVER say anything about what she's eating. I might wish I could eat what she's eating but I never say anything. But oh, then today she went over to Panda by herself--she invited me but I cried broke, which ain't a lie--and when she got back she told me all about the mushroom chicken she got and how it's much healthier and how she's got to start eating better. I just smiled and nodded. I'm not the food police! Eat whatever you want and by damn, let ME eat however I want!
Ugh! It's just so aggravating! For one thing, unless someone has drastically changed their appearance, I rarely ever even notice, much less comment. I especially rarely comment on someone's everyday, living their life behavior. Like the water fountain/bottle filling station. I've seen multiple other staff using various stations throughout the library and other than maybe one comment along the lines of, "Aren't those things great!" it has never occurred to me to give anyone grief about using it because why is that something that deserves grief? I rarely even call people out on the bullshit I do notice! So why, then, do I get called out for absolutely everything?
I don't normally like to cuss (despite the words littered in this post) and the following cuss word isn't one I'd ever use in conversation but in the spirit of full disclosure, I'd really like to tell people to just fuck the hell off!
I swear, I think I'm just so over dealing with other people.
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