Big Changes Ahead
So much is changing in my life these days. Small things. Big things. Good things. Bad things. Health things. Work things. Financial things. Family things. I feel as though all these things are preparing me for some super big change that's coming. Good or bad super big change, I can't tell yet. But I feel it coming.
Health things:
Not only am I working on improving my overall physical health (reversing prediabetes, mostly), I'm also working on my dental health. My dental genetics are terrible. I come from a long line of peeps on my dad's side with bad teeth. Bad in the sense that they are prone to cavities and are overall weak. Well, after two years of getting filling after every 6 month check-up, I finally got myself in gear and started really working on improving my dental health. For the past seven months I have faithfully brushed my teeth twice a day and rinsed with ACT anticavity mouthwash. I'm still working on making flossing an every day thing but I'm getting there. At my check up last month they didn't find any hard evidence of a cavity and for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to follow up that cleaning with an appointment for a filling. I go back in December for another check up and x-rays and we'll see from there.
I know brushing twice a day is something you're supposed to do...and most people, I suppose, have always done it. I, for whatever reason, only ever had developed the habit of the morning brushing. But I'm finally getting on the right train with everyone else.
As for the reversing prediabetes, I won't know any real results on that until I go back to the doctor in a few months for a sixth month check on my A1C and my thyroid and cholesterol. BUT, I've lost a total of 12lbs and 2 inches in my waist since the first of June. And, in big picture terms, I've actually lost a total of 37lbs over the past year or two! I have more energy, I feel stronger. I move more and while the worst of my depression had already started to dissipate a little while before that, I've noticed that it has receded even more. My confidence level is higher and I just feel better. Now, if I could just get this stupid plantar fasciitis in my foot to go away, I'd feel amazing...and could walk/exercise more!
Work things:
No, I don't have a new job or even the prospect of a new job. But I've made some major progress in the big project I've been working on for a long time now. I've still got a long ways to go with it and it really depends on how my foot holds out each day as to how quickly the progress will go, but I have a clearer picture in my head of what I need to do and how to accomplish that. It's a huge book shifting, filing, and rearranging project to help the stack tier where our book collection is shelved function better. It's highly physical which helps, I'm sure with my health but it also contributes a lot to my foot pain. I need new shoes but that conflicts with my financial goals, sooooo…
But I feel confident that this project will get completed sooner, rather than later. And if I can ever get it to a point where I feel comfortable enlisting a student assistant to help me, it'll go so much faster.
My stress level at work is so much less than it used to be, too. Ever since my problematic supervisor left last year I've noticed an overall decline in my stress level. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still have work stress. Besides the big shifting project, I still have exhibits for two exhibit spaces that I have to keep up with. I still have other day to day collection management things, student assistants to supervise, colleagues to contend with and a "big boss" who likes to pop in and shake things up every now and then. And, course, the routine "work things" that tend to cause stress for everyone. But the worst of the stress is gone. I don't go home in tears or feel my blood pressure spike throughout the day anymore. I don't always want to get up and come to work but that has more to do with me not wanting to get out of bed at 5:15am.
Financial Things:
I'm still not rolling in the dough but for the first time in the 18 years since I first wracked up some major credit card debt, my overall credit card balance is below $5000. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! If all goes according to plan and my calculations (and nothing else breaks, my car stays "healthy" and I don't have to have surgery on this foot) I should have half of that debt paid off by December (thanks to an interest free credit card transfer I did last year) and the other half should be paid off by April 2019.
The one card that I have that does charge interest, the one I use occasionally, I only used once last month and that was for a baby shower gift--an Amazon printable gift card. And I would have used my checking account to pay for it but Amazon won't allow checking account payments on gift cards for some reason. It would only accept a credit card payment. Weird. But, that's a HUGE feat for me...resisting charging ridiculous things. I am tempted ALL THE TIME. But I picture my credit card balance against the car I need to be able to buy next summer and I walk away from whatever it is that's tempting me.
My little raise ended up being a few dollars less than I'd calculated. It's more like $58 a month extra in my check. But small though it feels, it's still a major help. I am able to buy the healthy foods I need and I'm able to set a few dollars aside into savings. I did my calculations and figure that setting aside in savings would be a bigger benefit than throwing those few dollars at debt since I have such a clear payment plan I'm working my way through and those few dollars wouldn't have sped that up in any real way.
Family things:
My step-grandmother--Daddy's step-mother--got dumped on the folks' doorstep a little over a month ago. She had moved to Arkansas to live with her son back in October but then he died suddenly in April and she was bounced around between her nieces up there for a while until she and they got tired of it. The niece she'd been living with the most brought her down here the weekend before the fourth of July on the pretext that they were going to look around at several assisted living places in hopes of finding her something. They were here for two days when her niece left her in a hotel room and called Mama to go get her, essentially abandoning her.
Completely caught the folks off guard. She stayed with my Granny (Daddy's mother...weird situation, I know) until the 4th and then moved in with my parents. My mother nearly drove herself into a nervous breakdown trying to figure out what to do. She couldn't live with them forever...they're health isn't such that they can be long term caregivers and their house is tiny.
And in the midst of all this, the organization that had been helping pay for Daddy's leukemia medication cut their support by half, meaning that the folks were going to have to start paying almost $700 a month for his medication. We're talking life sustaining medication, here. And y'all, my folks aren't rich. Daddy's been on disability since 2009 and my mother is getting ready for retirement from the same library I work in...her salary covers their needs but $700 a month for 1 medication? So all the while she's been trying to find my step-grandmother a place to live, she's also been on the phone calling every charity she can think of to help pay that $700.
She finally got my step-grandmother into a beautiful personal care home where she is now happy as a lark surrounded by other old ladies and she has activities and help with keeping up with her suitcase of medications and baths and everything else an 87-year-old woman in decent health might need. She moved in a week ago and it's been a major relief.
As for Daddy's meds, she finally found an organization who says they qualify and Lord willing, they will get the assistance they need.
BUT...while all this has been going on, my last remaining grandfather's health has declined to the point where he is on steady hospice care and has to be monitored 24/7. He's still at home and my aunt who moved back from CO last October has been doing most of the monitoring when hospice isn't there. She stays with him at night so that my grandmother can rest and one of my uncles takes over on weekends so that my aunt can rest. It's just not the best situation. We were all just praying that he'd hang in there until Mama got those two other major stressors relieved. We were afraid what losing her dad would do to her already maxed out mental health. My aunt says she thinks the end is near for him, though. She sees the signs of his life ebbing away, much like she saw when her husband died last year. I will probably make my way over to see him this weekend. I know it sounds terrible, but I kinda don't want to. I've already been through this twice...seeing two other grandfathers on their deathbeds. I just don't want to do it again. But I need to. I need to be able to say good-bye, if good-bye is eminent. If I don't, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
Sigh.
It's been a wild couple of months for sure and I only see it getting wilder. As I said in the beginning of this post, I feel big changes coming. All in God's time and in God's Will.
Health things:
Not only am I working on improving my overall physical health (reversing prediabetes, mostly), I'm also working on my dental health. My dental genetics are terrible. I come from a long line of peeps on my dad's side with bad teeth. Bad in the sense that they are prone to cavities and are overall weak. Well, after two years of getting filling after every 6 month check-up, I finally got myself in gear and started really working on improving my dental health. For the past seven months I have faithfully brushed my teeth twice a day and rinsed with ACT anticavity mouthwash. I'm still working on making flossing an every day thing but I'm getting there. At my check up last month they didn't find any hard evidence of a cavity and for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to follow up that cleaning with an appointment for a filling. I go back in December for another check up and x-rays and we'll see from there.
I know brushing twice a day is something you're supposed to do...and most people, I suppose, have always done it. I, for whatever reason, only ever had developed the habit of the morning brushing. But I'm finally getting on the right train with everyone else.
As for the reversing prediabetes, I won't know any real results on that until I go back to the doctor in a few months for a sixth month check on my A1C and my thyroid and cholesterol. BUT, I've lost a total of 12lbs and 2 inches in my waist since the first of June. And, in big picture terms, I've actually lost a total of 37lbs over the past year or two! I have more energy, I feel stronger. I move more and while the worst of my depression had already started to dissipate a little while before that, I've noticed that it has receded even more. My confidence level is higher and I just feel better. Now, if I could just get this stupid plantar fasciitis in my foot to go away, I'd feel amazing...and could walk/exercise more!
Work things:
No, I don't have a new job or even the prospect of a new job. But I've made some major progress in the big project I've been working on for a long time now. I've still got a long ways to go with it and it really depends on how my foot holds out each day as to how quickly the progress will go, but I have a clearer picture in my head of what I need to do and how to accomplish that. It's a huge book shifting, filing, and rearranging project to help the stack tier where our book collection is shelved function better. It's highly physical which helps, I'm sure with my health but it also contributes a lot to my foot pain. I need new shoes but that conflicts with my financial goals, sooooo…
But I feel confident that this project will get completed sooner, rather than later. And if I can ever get it to a point where I feel comfortable enlisting a student assistant to help me, it'll go so much faster.
My stress level at work is so much less than it used to be, too. Ever since my problematic supervisor left last year I've noticed an overall decline in my stress level. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still have work stress. Besides the big shifting project, I still have exhibits for two exhibit spaces that I have to keep up with. I still have other day to day collection management things, student assistants to supervise, colleagues to contend with and a "big boss" who likes to pop in and shake things up every now and then. And, course, the routine "work things" that tend to cause stress for everyone. But the worst of the stress is gone. I don't go home in tears or feel my blood pressure spike throughout the day anymore. I don't always want to get up and come to work but that has more to do with me not wanting to get out of bed at 5:15am.
Financial Things:
I'm still not rolling in the dough but for the first time in the 18 years since I first wracked up some major credit card debt, my overall credit card balance is below $5000. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! If all goes according to plan and my calculations (and nothing else breaks, my car stays "healthy" and I don't have to have surgery on this foot) I should have half of that debt paid off by December (thanks to an interest free credit card transfer I did last year) and the other half should be paid off by April 2019.
The one card that I have that does charge interest, the one I use occasionally, I only used once last month and that was for a baby shower gift--an Amazon printable gift card. And I would have used my checking account to pay for it but Amazon won't allow checking account payments on gift cards for some reason. It would only accept a credit card payment. Weird. But, that's a HUGE feat for me...resisting charging ridiculous things. I am tempted ALL THE TIME. But I picture my credit card balance against the car I need to be able to buy next summer and I walk away from whatever it is that's tempting me.
My little raise ended up being a few dollars less than I'd calculated. It's more like $58 a month extra in my check. But small though it feels, it's still a major help. I am able to buy the healthy foods I need and I'm able to set a few dollars aside into savings. I did my calculations and figure that setting aside in savings would be a bigger benefit than throwing those few dollars at debt since I have such a clear payment plan I'm working my way through and those few dollars wouldn't have sped that up in any real way.
Family things:
My step-grandmother--Daddy's step-mother--got dumped on the folks' doorstep a little over a month ago. She had moved to Arkansas to live with her son back in October but then he died suddenly in April and she was bounced around between her nieces up there for a while until she and they got tired of it. The niece she'd been living with the most brought her down here the weekend before the fourth of July on the pretext that they were going to look around at several assisted living places in hopes of finding her something. They were here for two days when her niece left her in a hotel room and called Mama to go get her, essentially abandoning her.
Completely caught the folks off guard. She stayed with my Granny (Daddy's mother...weird situation, I know) until the 4th and then moved in with my parents. My mother nearly drove herself into a nervous breakdown trying to figure out what to do. She couldn't live with them forever...they're health isn't such that they can be long term caregivers and their house is tiny.
And in the midst of all this, the organization that had been helping pay for Daddy's leukemia medication cut their support by half, meaning that the folks were going to have to start paying almost $700 a month for his medication. We're talking life sustaining medication, here. And y'all, my folks aren't rich. Daddy's been on disability since 2009 and my mother is getting ready for retirement from the same library I work in...her salary covers their needs but $700 a month for 1 medication? So all the while she's been trying to find my step-grandmother a place to live, she's also been on the phone calling every charity she can think of to help pay that $700.
She finally got my step-grandmother into a beautiful personal care home where she is now happy as a lark surrounded by other old ladies and she has activities and help with keeping up with her suitcase of medications and baths and everything else an 87-year-old woman in decent health might need. She moved in a week ago and it's been a major relief.
As for Daddy's meds, she finally found an organization who says they qualify and Lord willing, they will get the assistance they need.
BUT...while all this has been going on, my last remaining grandfather's health has declined to the point where he is on steady hospice care and has to be monitored 24/7. He's still at home and my aunt who moved back from CO last October has been doing most of the monitoring when hospice isn't there. She stays with him at night so that my grandmother can rest and one of my uncles takes over on weekends so that my aunt can rest. It's just not the best situation. We were all just praying that he'd hang in there until Mama got those two other major stressors relieved. We were afraid what losing her dad would do to her already maxed out mental health. My aunt says she thinks the end is near for him, though. She sees the signs of his life ebbing away, much like she saw when her husband died last year. I will probably make my way over to see him this weekend. I know it sounds terrible, but I kinda don't want to. I've already been through this twice...seeing two other grandfathers on their deathbeds. I just don't want to do it again. But I need to. I need to be able to say good-bye, if good-bye is eminent. If I don't, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
Sigh.
It's been a wild couple of months for sure and I only see it getting wilder. As I said in the beginning of this post, I feel big changes coming. All in God's time and in God's Will.
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