CAUTION: Woman In Progress

I don't think I'm a terribly judgmental person. I mean, who am I to judge someone else's life? I'm by no means perfect. At. All. But...(You knew there was a but or there wouldn't have been a post, right?) Have you ever had friends that you watched them do things--become people--that you know isn't right--that makes them not the person you thought they were? Friends you can see spiraling out of control for whatever reason but are helpless to stop it? Yeah, I have a couple of those. I worry about them. Not because I think their behavior is neccessarily wrong but that maybe it's wrong for them? It feels like they're becoming people I don't recognize anymore. And I do understand why they do some of the things they do or why they're changing (sometimes the simple answer is because they finally can). I love them. I just worry about them. But their lives are their own. We each have to learn to live by our own rules, right? And sometimes, I'm secret...

You know, I had a premonition-type feeling when my car died on New Year's weekend that 2008 was going to be a suck-fest. The deal with Paw-paw's tumor had me thinking I was right. Last night confirmed it. Can we just SKIP 2008 and wake up in a sparkly 2009, which will hopefully be better? *sigh* My other grandfather (well, another--I have three, yanno.), Mama's dad, is in the hospital. He's had a mini-stroke. He'd slept most of yesterday and Ma-Maw said when he woke up late yesterday afternoon his speech was garbled and he was having trouble moving. So my uncle called for an ambulance and they took him to the hospital in Tupelo. They've run all sorts of tests on him today and have confirmed that it was indeed a stroke, albeit a mild one. One of my aunts called Mama and said that she'd spoken to him and that his speech was a little better today so hopefully he's on the mend. They're doing and MRI to see what sort of damage was done and why he's ha...

Got some sort of good news yesterday. When Paw-Paw went back to the doctor yesterday, the doc said they're downgrading him from stage 4 to stage 3. I don't know if that's a huge difference or not but it sounds good to me. Your prayers are working so keep 'em up! And thank you for 'em. :) In the not so great news, my great-grandmother on my dad's side is in bad shape. She hasn't been in the best health for a few years now but she's recently taken a really bad turn. She's in the hospital now, basically comatose. They're not expecting her to make it much longer. But, you know, she could still pull through. She's a tough old broad (nearly 95) so she might just fool us yet. I feel like, though, she'd find it a blessing were she to go on to Heaven. She's earned her rest. Just be in prayer for my grandmother and two great aunts as they're preparing for this. Even when you know it's for the best, it's hard on daughters. And I'...

Paw-Paw did get to come home yesterday. I didn't get to see him but Daddy went to visit yesterday evening and he said that Paw-Paw seems to be in good spirits so that's a relief to hear. I'll see him Sunday for sure. Trying to think of something nice to take him or do for him but I'm drawing a blank. He's not much of a foodie or I'd bake for him. Maybe I'll think of something. Now, the following story was one that I received on email this morning. It made me cry so of course I had to pass it on. ;) The Pastor and His Son Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven-year-old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts. This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, "OK, dad, I'm ready." His Pastor d...

The hospital didn't get around to releasing my grandfather yesterday as the doctor had promised. The doctor didn't even get around to making his rounds until after six o'clock last night. My grandfather had already sent my grandmother home by then. So I ended up spending the night with her. It was kind of nice getting to visit with her alone, even under the circumstances. Felt almost like I was a kid again. Even tired and stressed as she was, she still babied me a bit. She even got up this morning and made me breakfast though I'd told her not to worry about it. I guess even though she's my grandmother, she's still a mother. Hopefully Paw-Paw will get to come home today. I know they're both ready to be away from the hospital for a while. The doctor is sending Paw-Paw to a specialist in Jackson but won't be able to start treatment for another month or so. They have to wait for the biopsy incision to heal completely before starting radiation. Granny said t...

Thanks for any and all prayers said on my grandfather's behalf. Keep 'em coming. I've been dogsitting for my grandparents the past couple of nights. Ya'll remember their Boston Terrier, Penny? Yeah. It's always interesting to get her together with Libby. They're both used to be only "children" and both demand their fare share--or more! Libby is by far the more vocal and demanding one, though. I don't know if it's because I've encouraged her to be vocal or if she's learned early on that the best way to get what she wants is by intimdation. She's like the lapdog version of the school yard bully. Poor Penny cows down to her to her a point. Until she just can't stand it anymore and has to get her "licks" in. (She, like Libby, is a face bather. She's just a little more sloppy and enthusastic with her kisses. Libby doles her kisses out like she's licking candy. Penny is more like a window washer. lol) I need to teach...

Just heard from Mama. There was a tumor on Paw-Paw's brain and it is malignant. He's in stage 4 so it really doesn't look good. But, the doctor said that with radiation and chemo he could still beat it. I'm sitting here at the ref. desk trying really hard not to cry. I wish I'd just stayed home today.

moar funny pictures

I'm trying to be joyful today. I had an excellent weekend. The party for my grandparents came off beautifully even if I DIDN'T get to enjoy it much. My song didn't suck royally (though I did flub a line in the first one, no one knew it because it was a little known song. But on the second one, my dad said he almost cried. I'm hoping he meant because it was beautiful--not because it was painful! LOL). My aching feet, back, etc. are mostly recovered. Mostly. Most importantly, my grandparents enjoyed it and were very pleased with it. That makes all the hard work, aching muscles and sleepless nights worth it. It's hard to stay joyful, though. Paw-Paw is having a biopsy today. The one he was supposed to have earlier this month. I know I shouldn't worry. He's in the Lord's hands and will be taken care of. It's just super scary to me. Any number of things could go wrong. Or he could be seriously ill. And it could go great and be nothing wrong at all. It...

If only I could not do all the things I don't wanna, I'd be a happy Jana indeed. I don't wanna call for references on a job applicant. Talking to people I don't know stresses me severely. Especially on the phone. Don't know what it is about phones but I don't like to talk to strangers on them. I don't wanna come to work tomorrow because I wanted to play hooky with my mother so that we could get the rest of the decorations done for my g-parents anniversary party. But the PTB have meetings tomorrow and I'm it for filling in. Sux. I don't wanna go get an inspection sticker on the new car. Remember the last time I went? Creepy mechanic leering at me whilst he filled out the sticker info thingy and gave me nightmares and paranoia for weeks? But the sticker expired in July and while I could probably get away without getting it done for a couple more months my dad will harass me no end about it if I don't do it NOW. I don't wanna sing at the party S...

I saw a co-worker at Wal-Mart last night. She's my age, I've worked with her for about a year, she seems nice and yet I don't really know her. Partially because it's difficult for me to get to know anyone and partially because I didn't really WANT to get to know her because I didn't think she'd be around long as her job was temporary. It's disappointing making friends with co-workers and then they leave and you never hear from them again. (Hello, Mr. Coffee Break Man? Where are you?) So I just never even tried. Not that I was unfriendly or anything. I don't think so, anyway. Only now that I've sort of set up this presedence for not really taking the time to get to know her she's just been hired for a permanent position here. So, now I hafta figure out how to go about easing into a friendship with her. At least a comfortable enough working relationship that I don't feel awkward saying good morning to her. So last night when I saw her at Wa...

As of yesterday, I'm officially free to terrorize other motorists once again. hehehehehe We went to Sis2's yesterday to pick up her old car (my new car.) It isn't officially mine yet but it's got me back behind the wheel again. It drives so smooth and sweet. Has a KILLER stereo system. One that doesn't snap crackle and pop like in my old car. LOL I'll hafta get the tires checked out, though. The two front tires were pretty low. Had to air them up quite a bit. And here's a kicker...My dad has always preached to my mom and me about certain things we need to always have in our vehicles. A flashlight, a spare tire and a tire pressure gauge...just to start. I've always kept all of those things in mine as well as an air compressor. You never know when you're going to need those things in an emergency. Sounds reasonable and safe to me. So I took my air compressor with us since Sis2 had warned me that the tires were low. I forgot to grab my pressure gauge, t...

I won't bother you with anymore pix for a while, I swear. I know not everyone is as enamored of my family as I am but I'm very into oversharing, it seems. LOL Everyone (well, half of us, anyway) sit around the table chatting and fawning over Lyssa. She was a big hit. hehe Then there was a photo-op with the girls and our grandparents. They actually did a pose with my sisters, as well, but I'm boycotting it because I wasn't invited to join the picture. Just because I don't have any spawn doesn't mean I don't matter! No, I know the reasoning behind it. Sort of a generations type picture but still... This was the day after Christmas. Emmy's getting bundled up to go hunting with Daddy. She still doesn't get to carry a gun but she enjoys just the experience. Plus, I think she thinks it's a neat thing to get to do with her Bobo. You shoulda seen her trying to walk with all that gear on, though. And that wasn't even all of it. She had a couple more ...

I meant to get back in here yesterday. I promise I did but eHarlequin has a new community site and I spent my free time trying to figure out all the ins and outs of it. I love some of the new things and some of the changes are annoying but most things in life are that way, right? But here we are...some more pics. Me and Libs share a Christmas Eve g'night hug before she went to bed to wait for Santa. (Yes, I'm in my pj's...) Nipper guards (and subtly begs for) the treats Emmy left out for Santa. Christmas morning after a slew of presents, Emmy relaxes with her new "toys". She's the perfect blend of child and pre-adolence with a new stroller for her doll, an MP3 player and a new Leapster video game. (In her Hannah Montana PJ's no less. hehe) Then when Sis2, Goofus and Lyssa arrive, it's time for presents again. Lyssa was all up in some presents. Pretty alert for a 4 month old, huh? Nipper got in on some prezzie action of his own--with Libby's help ...

So I sold my car last night. One of the mechanics who worked on it bought it for his dad. I sold it for a song (basically getting my money back on the cost of the work they'd already done on it) but I'm just glad to be done with it. It's a little sad to think about because you know, I've had that car since I was a senior in college. It took me a lot of places. But it also left me stranded a lot of places and that's why it's difficult to be TOO sad. Besides, I know it's going to a good home to someone who can take better care of it and put the work into it that I couldn't afford. And it doesn't hurt that the fella is a smokin' hot dude. Hoo-boy, is he one fine male specimen. LOL In other news, I go Sunday to pick up my sisters--correction my NEW car. That is, if Sis2 actually got all the paperwork done that she said she'd do. She has to file for a lost title and transfer it to my name and she said she'd do that yesterday but she has a hist...

Well gang, I'm back! (Was actually back Friday but too swamped to finish a decent post!) Not exactly bright eyed and bushy-tailed but not altogether un-blessed. ;) Christmas was wonderful. I mean, don't get me wrong, there were no sugar plum fairies or magical snow covered days but it was a great day. Being Alyssa's first Christmas, having all my family there and reasonably healthy, it was truly a blessed day. You know, I got to thinking about it and you know how when we were kids Christmas was all about the presents and the candy and decorations. Now the important things about it (besides the real reason we celebrate--Jesus, in case you're wondering) don't have anything to do with what I get or what the house looks like or what I eat. Yes, I do get great joy from pertying up my dismal abode and love the lights on folks' houses and I do loves me some candy and homemade treats but I get greater joy from the people in my life and making them happy--seeing them hap...

Yep. This it, folks. My last post this year. As of noon today, I'm outta here. Off to jet set around my home for the next week and a half. :) This past year saw a lot of changes for me, personally. Typically a lot of ups and a lot of downs and more than my share of ho-hums. ;) I do have a lot to be thankful for, though. Not the least of which is a group of wonderful friends-here as well as other places. As someone who hasn't ever had a lot of friends throughout my life, having a number of people I know I can count on for support, sympathy, kinship and fun means the world to me. And I thank you, and thank God for you. Here's to hoping that I can be a better friend to all of you in the coming year. So ya'll take care, relax and enjoy this holiday season. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you all the while I'm gone. Have a good one! Much love, Jana

You Are a Practical Gift Giver Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom tailored to each person.In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use.Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated. What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

I've got Chipmunks stuck in my head...or their Christmas song, I suppose I should say. hehehehe Mama and I went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks Sunday. It's a cute film. Ya'll should see it. Don't be a Chipmunk hater like BIL who said it is a waste of money. *rolls eyes* Sadly, I had the song stuck in my head way before that, though. It is one of my favorites but I don't know all the words so I just keep singing, Christmas Christmas time is here, time for toys and time for cheer, We've been good but we can't last, hurry Christmas, hurry fast. Something something loops the loop, me I want a hoola-hoop. We can't hardly stand the wait, please Christmas don't be late. hehehe Meanwhile, they're wiring our area for new fire alarms which is quite noisy. Apparently they have to drill through the wall right outside my cube which is totally annoying. If they'd do it with some rhythm it wouldn't be so bad. But it's just this incessant droning. B...