CAUTION: Woman In Progress

With everything that's going on in the world these days, our country especially, I find myself prone to anger. At the events taking place, sure. But more so with the way the people around me react, think, and feel about them. I'm a Christian. I asked Jesus into my heart when I was eleven years old. I wake up every day and do the best my lowly human self can do to live in a way that both serves and pleases the Father. I fail, yes. I fail often and spectacularly. I own that. But it doesn't stop me from trying to do better. To be better. To live better and leave this earth better than it was when I woke up this morning. The current political climate, the current U.S. Administration and all the ills that have come with it...it's hard on my Christian heart. Made even harder by the Christians around me who blindly support everything that's been happening. All but worshiping at the feet of a president who displays the least Christ-like behavior imaginable. And I don...

I'll lead with the good news. While I was at the Student Health Center trying to figure out why I passed out this morning, they checked my blood glucose and it was in a healthy range two hours after eating a protein bar. So, yay! I seem to maybe be a little bit on track with the prediabetes reversal. The scary news is, I fainted and fell out in the floor at work this morning. SUPER not fun. Funny now, but scary as all hell when it happened. I've been having dizzy spells and such for a couple of years now. Blurry vision and all. My doctor just brushed it off when I told him about it though so I just assumed it was anxiety or something. Stress, you know? Well, today I was in the middle of training a new student assistant when my vision got really blurry and I became "swaying while I was standing" dizzy. I took a second to try and breathe through it like I normally do and it subsided a little bit and we carried on with the training. A few minutes later it hit again,...

I feel like I'm going crazy, y'all. I sense all these big changes coming as though all these small changes I've recently made in my life are preparing me for something major. I'm equal parts excited about it and terrified of it. Partly because I don't know exactly what's coming but also partly because I think I might have an inkling of what it is. I almost hate to type this out loud because it makes me feel really vulnerable to say...especially since I'm likely ten shades of wrong, but...I think my heart is starting to wake up and remind me that it's still in there and maybe wants a little bit more than the spinster hermit life I've made for myself. And perhaps, just maybe, God is preparing me for a relationship. Ugh. I feel pathetic just even thinking about it. I gave up that ghost ten years ago, or so I thought. I bought my house. I had my Libs. I'm really good at taking care of myself. I have a great support system of friends and famil...

😟Last Monday, at just a few minutes past 12pm, my last remaining grandfather slipped the bonds of this earth and made his way home to our Heavenly Father. He's no longer suffering, no longer in pain. He was ready to go. He PRAYED to go. And now that he's gone I'm happy for him, even though I'm sad for me and the rest of his beloved family. There's a PawPaw shaped hole in our hearts that won't ever be filled but I can't begrudge him his freedom because he is exactly where I want to be someday. I don't know how this loss will affect our family in the long run. He was the glue that held us all together so it's a little worrisome to think that we may not ever all be together again now that he's gone. I have uncles who I rarely saw as it was. Will they ever come back to visit? Will my cousins who live out of state? My family is so important to me. I'm so tied to them in so many ways...through memories, shared experiences, and love. Without ou...

So much is changing in my life these days. Small things. Big things. Good things. Bad things. Health things. Work things. Financial things. Family things. I feel as though all these things are preparing me for some super big change that's coming. Good or bad super big change, I can't tell yet. But I feel it coming. Health things: Not only am  I working on improving my overall physical health (reversing prediabetes, mostly), I'm also working on my dental health. My dental genetics are terrible. I come from a long line of peeps on my dad's side with bad teeth. Bad in the sense that they are prone to cavities and are overall weak. Well, after two years of getting  filling after every 6 month check-up, I finally got myself in gear and started really working on improving my dental health. For the past seven months I have faithfully brushed my teeth twice a day and rinsed with ACT anticavity mouthwash. I'm still working on making flossing an every day thing but I'...

I know I rant a lot. Head's up: That's not gonna change. Current rant: Okay, so why is it that nearly everything I do gets snide commentary from folks around me? I mean, I know I see the same people every day and maybe we get used to seeing/experiencing certain things from each other but must everyone comment on EVERYTHING I do? I can't wear lipstick, or change my hair, try make-up, or wear an off the shoulder blouse to my cousin's wedding, or even fill my glass from the new water bottle filling station in the library without someone making a big deal out of it. I mean, I can understand the changing the hair thing if the commentary was like, "Oh, I like your  hair like that!" Or the off the shoulder blouse thing if the commentary was to say that it looked nice on me. But NO. The commentary is always with a hint of snideness or teasing like, "Look at you, changing your hair." "An off the shoulder blouse?" asked as said blouse is near...

If anyone is actually reading this blog and then even a little curious about my health goals updates, I've been blogging regularly over at my fat girl blog . But if you don't want to read all the hard stuff, I'll give you a little mini-update: Over the course of the month, I've lost 6lbs and 1 inch! Cue the party horns and balloon release. haha My financial goals...well, I'm still on track but I've been overextending my grocery budget because surprise! healthy food is hella expensive. BUT, I recently got a small raise at work which goes into affect on the 15th so I can reexamine my grocery budget and maybe pad it a little to keep from creeping into or derailing my overall financial goals. The hardest part, I'm realizing, is trying to decide what is the wisest thing to do with any extra money I come across. Gut instinct says to put it toward debt but then I second guess myself and think, you know, I might need to save that into my emergency fund so tha...

So, my health isn't the only things about my life that has changed. I've recently tried really taking the reigns on my financial health, as well. It all started last year when Mama first started talking about retiring. In case you don't know, I commute to work with my mother. We take her car, she buys all the gas and doesn't expect me to contribute much more than the occasional grunt while she talks for 45 minutes each way. This has saved me a TON of money over the years and allowed me to limp along with my 20-year-old car. Well, she decided late last year that she would be retiring June 2019 which gave me (at the time) 2 years to get my credit cards paid off and save enough money to buy a new car. So, first thing I did was consolidate my two credit cards onto a zero interest for 18 months card and start paying down on that. And I started socking money away with the 5's method...meaning, every time a $5 bill landed in my hand, I put it way. I had actually saved ...

So more great news. I had my annual wellness lab work done last week and guess what! I'm officially pre-diabetic! Awesome, right? Except not. *sigh* You know, it's not exactly entirely unexpected.  I mean, I'm fat, almost 40, and both my parents have been diabetic for years. So, you know, I could see it coming a mile away. And at least I'm just at the "pre" stage. So, it's not a death sentence yet. With hard work and diligent life changes I can put this puppy into reverse. God willing. However, if I had not had two diabetic parents educating me on carb counting and diabetic approved foods and food label reading, etc. I'd have been shit out of luck on figuring out how to attack this thing because my doctor was useless. He merely gave me the diagnosis, told me to diet and exercise and sent me on my merry way! He didn't give me any guidelines or suggest seeing a nutritionist (which you definitely should, if you ever find yourself facing any ...

So, turns out that what I thought was a fun road trip to Texas with my aunt and sister wasn't so fun for my aunt. According to my mother, anyway, who spent the day with my aunts yesterday. While talking about going back to Texas with my other aunt, Aunt S, with whom we road tripped, apparently made the statement that she knew she'd actually enjoy the trip with Aunt L while her previous travel companions had annoyed her. So yeah. Thanks, Ma, for passing on that disappointing info that I could have happily lived without. Now, instead of a happy memory of that one time I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and had a fun road trip with my aunt and sister, I'll just be bitterly paying off the $600 of credit card debt from a trip where I apparently contributed to ruining it for my aunt. Sweet. And if my own aunt felt that way I don't even want to think about how my friends must have felt during the New Orleans trip. I wonder how badly I ruined THAT for THEM? That'l...

The wedding was in an outdoor chapel way up in the hills near their home. It was a beautiful location and a beautiful day for it. It had rained the day before it was a nice, cool, breezy day for an outdoor wedding.   My uncle, the groom's dad, played the wedding music on is guitar. It was a gorgeous wedding and they are a lovely couple. I still can't believe my baby cousin is a married man but they suit each other perfectly.   Unfortunately, not all of the family could make it out there. Besides us and the immediate family, one other uncle and his wife were able to fly out there. I was so glad to get to be a part of it all. The reception was in their front yard, and while the sun was bright and the bugs came out as the evening encroached, it was a beautiful and fun party. The bride's family did all the cooking and being that it was Texas, there was brisket, pulled pork, smoked sausage, mac and cheese, baked beans, glazed carrots, and a sal...

Y'all, I'm becoming a regular road tripping traveler. For a girl who previously had only ever been in three states (the state where I live, Alabama, and Tennessee) in my whole life, I've visited three NEW states in a year's time. Well, you know. New to me, states. Back last June I went to Georgia for work, in January I went to Louisiana for a show in New Orleans, and most recently, I went to Texas which was, by far, the longest road trip I've ever taken...11 hours to Waco and then 12 hours coming home from Austin. My cousin--six years younger than me, who I babysat all the time when we were kids, and who was my best childhood friend and who moved to Austin about 7 or 8 years ago--finally got married so Sis1 and my CO aunt who now lives in MS road tripped across Louisiana and into Texas. Leaving early Thursday morning... Crossing the Mississippi River into Louisiana. Breezing through Monroe, LA. Entering Shreveport, LA. We stopped at the...